Toddlers & Preschoolers

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unruly 3 yr old
June 13, 2013 at 2:51 AM
Hello sweet ladies,so my 3years old who will be four in July has become a real handful . At such a young age she's managed to have a smart remark for every time me or her father tell her to do something she also hits and throws things if she doesn't get her wayyI've never seen a kid so young act this way these aren't normal behaviors to me because she thinks she should be able to do what she wants and will absolutely not be told no. Obviously she is only three and no three year old can control an adult but iI've tried spanking time outs talking about it and nothing works,I feel like I'm constantly screaming but not being hurt if ,anyone has advice or has experienced the same thing reply please 


  • MarylandMom123
    June 13, 2013 at 7:13 AM

    I don't really have much advice for you, my DD is 16 months old. But you're not alone! I have many mommy friends who say 3 is worse than 2. Since they like to be independent, I think it could help to give her some choices. "Do you want to clean up the blocks, or the puzzles?" Also be very consistent. Every time she has a smart remark you need to tell her "that's not how we speak to grownups" and give her better words to use. Acknowledge when she is frustrated, but that's not an excuse to throw things. Try saying, "I know you're angry, but it's not okay to hit and throw things. Why don't you try ______ instead." Maybe a stress ball she can squeeze? Or a pillow she can hung? Good luck!!

  • debwatson86
    June 13, 2013 at 8:17 AM

    My 3yo son is the same way as was my daughter. Really all you can do is hold your ground. You will lose patience and you will yell but as long as you don't give in eventually your daughter will give up and she'll learn the rules. She is just trying to see what she can get away with and if you give in to the rules now she will always do it. Trust me I went through it. My daughter is 5 now and it is much easier.

  • kgburnette
    June 13, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    My son whose 3, is the same.  When we moved to NC last year and started him in the daycare here, he did well at first - he learned a lot and we couldn't be more happy... However, fast forward to earlier this spring when we eventually pulled him and his sister out of the daycare.. He started picking up on all of the bad behaviors. Its taken awhile and he still has moments where he doesn't listen to me... but with a little work on my part and help from my husband when he's at home, we're making a little head-way on helping our son with his behavior.  I try my damndest not to yell at him but its incredibly hard and it happens ocasionally.. You know what though? he's 3 and even though i think sometimes he can downright be the rudest child ever at that age.. I know he's not and i also know those terrible two's are garabage! they last well intoo their 3's! lol.

  • ProudMommy51006
    June 13, 2013 at 10:11 AM
    When my dd was 3, she did the same and my son is 3 now and not quite that bad but he's definitely testing me (it doesn't help having a mouthy 7 year old big sister). I have been holding my ground, I speak in a calm and stern voice, just letting him know who is boss. Just stay consistent. Like time out may not work a first, but every single time she does (x) send her to time out. She'll get out and do it again, back in time out, she'll get out and do it again, back in time out, then it will get to the point where you can say stop or you will go in time out (that's the only warning) if it happens again, back to time out. She'll learn to hate time out and fix the behavior to not end up back there... this still may not work, just an example, I know it's so hard. We've just got to obtain our control back every so often because when they act like this, they are running the show.
  • PEEK05
    by PEEK05
    June 13, 2013 at 12:51 PM

    She needs to be sent to her room and told that she can come out when she is ready to behave.  There is absolutely no way that I would allow her to "absolutely not be told no."  

  • tokeahontas
    June 13, 2013 at 5:32 PM
    Thanks for your answers!!!
  • Marimaru
    June 13, 2013 at 5:36 PM

    I've found 1, 2, 3, swat on the butt is pretty effective.  I almost never get to 3, and it keeps me from yelling.

    Also, repetitive stuff (daily cleaning, or in our case, pooing in the potty without a mess on the underwear) gets a ping pong ball in the bucket.  When all the balls are in the bucket, she gets to go shopping for a special surprise.  If she makes a mess in her underwear, we take one out.  She picked up how this works really, really quickly, and messes cut down considerably.

  • TheartAH
    June 13, 2013 at 5:48 PM
    It's normal. I have a sassy, quick witted 3 yr old DD myself!
    Stop yelling. Stay calm even if she's driving you nutty. Your anger just shows her that she is in control of how YOU feel. Pick a consequence and follow through with it immediately. Every. Single. Time.
  • Sigmalade
    June 13, 2013 at 8:14 PM

    I will keep you in my prayers. It is a phrase and they grow out of it. I was so embarrassed by my 3 year old ds at walmart one time I had to go into the bathroom to spank him and regain my composure. The walmart employee understood and watched my cart. She said they just grow out of it you just have to be consistent. It is a hard struggle but hopefully it will end soon. 

  • jendawn1
    June 13, 2013 at 10:44 PM
    Look for the book 123magic

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