Toddlers & Preschoolers

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adrianexrenea
attitude/hitting
January 11, 2013 at 9:08 AM

My daughter has been getting quite the attitude lately, she will be two in march. I don't know if it's just the "terrible twos" stage starting, but i notice she has been very mean lately, this past week she came up to me and smacked me for no reason. i have only spanked her a few times to dicipline her before, i don't really believee spanking works, especially if you do it to try to teach kids not to hit. But after she hit me the first time i told her no, she did it again, i took her hand and told her no again and she continued to hit me, so i put her in her bed to sit for a time out and left her in there for about 10 minutes, she seemed fine after i went back and got her. Again yesterday she was sitting next to me on the couch and just started kicking me out of nowhere, and i told her to stop and moved her feet in front of her, she moved them back and kicked me again (did this two times) then she ended up hitting me once i moved her feet back again, i put her in time out again, but this time when i took her out she seemed she still had her attitude. She came in the living room and picked her books off the shelf one by one and just threw them all over, like she was trying to make a mess.  I'm having a difficult time trying to decide the best way to deal with this, i don't want her to think she can walk all over me. I would understand more if something happened that made her upset and then she acted out, but nothing did. Advice?

Replies

  • hopeym23
    January 11, 2013 at 9:11 AM

    I want to say it is a phase.  I have the problem with my kids hitting and kicking each other.  They fight terribly.  My oldest DD who is in first grade now went through the terrible twos and hit me a few times but it wasn't a problem.

  • momof3jam
    January 11, 2013 at 9:23 AM

    Omg yikes!!!

    You just have to pick a discipline that seems to work (different techniques work differently for different personalities, imo) and really, really stick with it. EVERY time she does something wrong, she immediately needs whatever punishment you find works. Time outs are good, especially with a dial-type egg timer so she can SEE just how long time goes by, and see how you reset it another minute if she can't sit still. But she's still young, so I wouldn't put her there for more than 2-3 minutes. At that age, I think she'll forget why she's there before her time is up.

    Just put her there, start the timer, and go about your business. When the time is up, come to the corner, crouch down to her level and explain what she did wrong and why she's in time out (the 2 minutes helps YOU calm down too). Have her apologize "Now, tell Mommy you're sorry for kicking her" etc. Then give her a hug, and go back to normal.

    You'll have to do this EVERY single time, even if you're tired, or busy, or whatever. It will get exhausting, but each time it will be better. She is going to test your patience - don't get beat out by a 2 year old lol.

  • adrianexrenea
    January 11, 2013 at 9:32 AM

    thank you for the advice, i will try this and see if it helps at all, she is very strong willed for not even being 2 yet, lol

    Quoting momof3jam:

    Omg yikes!!!

    You just have to pick a discipline that seems to work (different techniques work differently for different personalities, imo) and really, really stick with it. EVERY time she does something wrong, she immediately needs whatever punishment you find works. Time outs are good, especially with a dial-type egg timer so she can SEE just how long time goes by, and see how you reset it another minute if she can't sit still. But she's still young, so I wouldn't put her there for more than 2-3 minutes. At that age, I think she'll forget why she's there before her time is up.

    Just put her there, start the timer, and go about your business. When the time is up, come to the corner, crouch down to her level and explain what she did wrong and why she's in time out (the 2 minutes helps YOU calm down too). Have her apologize "Now, tell Mommy you're sorry for kicking her" etc. Then give her a hug, and go back to normal.

    You'll have to do this EVERY single time, even if you're tired, or busy, or whatever. It will get exhausting, but each time it will be better. She is going to test your patience - don't get beat out by a 2 year old lol.


  • xoxRachelxox
    January 11, 2013 at 9:47 AM

     I agree... Whatever you choose, stick with it. Consistency is what will work.

    Quoting momof3jam:

    Omg yikes!!!

    You just have to pick a discipline that seems to work (different techniques work differently for different personalities, imo) and really, really stick with it. EVERY time she does something wrong, she immediately needs whatever punishment you find works. Time outs are good, especially with a dial-type egg timer so she can SEE just how long time goes by, and see how you reset it another minute if she can't sit still. But she's still young, so I wouldn't put her there for more than 2-3 minutes. At that age, I think she'll forget why she's there before her time is up.

    Just put her there, start the timer, and go about your business. When the time is up, come to the corner, crouch down to her level and explain what she did wrong and why she's in time out (the 2 minutes helps YOU calm down too). Have her apologize "Now, tell Mommy you're sorry for kicking her" etc. Then give her a hug, and go back to normal.

    You'll have to do this EVERY single time, even if you're tired, or busy, or whatever. It will get exhausting, but each time it will be better. She is going to test your patience - don't get beat out by a 2 year old lol.

     

  • corrinacs
    January 11, 2013 at 10:12 AM

    It is a phase, luckily.  She's testing her boundaries and is testing what happens when does this to you to see your reaction.  I dont' think she's trying to be mean, just curious just like what happens when you push a toy down the stairs.....just to see what happens.

    Time outs NEVEr worked for my son.  If we tried to put him into a corner, he would do like you said, pull books off the shelves, make a total mess....it just made things much worse :/.   But I do remove him from the situation and give him a good talking to.  Later on, I started taking things away....like iPad time.

    But liek they said, you have to be so consistent with it.  Even once letting her get away with it will set you back :/.  But you should start noticing results in a few days to a few weeks :).

    Good luck :)

  • PEEK05
    by PEEK05
    January 11, 2013 at 11:30 AM

    Sorry I don't know.  I would pick one discipline tactic and stay consistent and firm with it.  Good luck.

  • CorpCityGrl
    January 11, 2013 at 12:12 PM

    It's a phase.

    DD is a little over 2 now and she is stubborn and independent and we went through the same thing.  She was trying to assert her independence and test boundaries.

    You really do have to be consistent in discipline.  Choose one form (and the first one you choose may not always be the most effective for you guys) and stick to it.  Consistency is the key and she will learn that her actions DO have consequences. 

  • adrianexrenea
    January 11, 2013 at 12:37 PM

    thank you ladies!! :)

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