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Note to Santa: Kids Don't Like Wooden Toys
December 28, 2012 at 11:25 AM

Note to Santa: Kids Don't Like Wooden Toys


Posted by Aunt Becky

So I'd been pretty confident about Christmas this year. I'd enlisted the help of my three-year old daughter on Black Friday so she -- the picky one -- could tell me if the presents I'd planned to buy were SO SO LAME, MOM or not. Carefully, I poured through the sites to find the best deals on the toys and ordered them. The packages began to arrive well before December 1.

But because I'm a scientist at heart, I had to do one thing, one TINY thing to see if my parents had been right.

They weren't.

My parents, who find anything other than teak and fine silver to be "garish," "tacky," and "Oh my GOD Becky, where did you FIND that monstrosity?" had always been of the mindset that toys made of wood were far superior than those made of plastic.

In some senses, they're probably right. Wooden toys do win the "I'm sturdier than YOU" contest and kids can gnaw on wood (usually) without getting splinters in their mouths. It wasn't a trend back when I was a wee lass, these wooden toys, so when I began to see them pop up in the stores, I rolled my eyes. The days when I'd wanted something flimsy and fashioned only of bright plastic weren't far enough in my rear-view mirror for me to want to get in on this trend.

Why?

Well, for all the eco-friendliness of toys made of thoughtlessly dismantled trees; for all the "imagination" the kids are supposed to feel the moment they lay their wee eyes on a pile of wood stuff, wooden toys are - and please don't lob them at me for saying this - boring.

I figured that this was a "me" thing, the same way I prefer everything I own to sparkle, even if it means bathing in glitter to make it happen. I wear my tacky with pride and therefore assumed that since I was both tacky and lack an imagination, the wooden toys were probably full of the awesome. I was probably missing some essential part of my brain that made wooden toys appear to be cooler than I saw them to be.

Which is why on Black Friday, amongst the pile of Batman-related Imaginext toys, I decided to perform my experiment. I also ordered a drastically marked down cash register for the kids, made entirely out of wood.

Perfect, I thought as I bought it at a ridiculously low price, this will prove that the whole "wooden toys are boring" thing was just me being spoiled. I'd probably been wrong all along, I thought as I carefully placed the order.

Christmas morning, Dave brought the kids over to my apartment for stockings and to open the presents my daughter had helped select. First to be opened happened to be the cash register.

I'm telling you, they couldn't have appeared more annoyed if they tried. You could practically hear their eyeballs *thwap* into the back of their head as they went onto the next present.

Hrms, I thought as I watched them tear into the rest of the Batman stuff. Maybe it was just the wrong presentation. Perhaps they'd come BACK to it with a renewed sense of interest and/or imagination.

"Hey guys," I said, patting the couch next to me. "Lookit this cash register!"

They each wandered over for a second, looked at the cash register then back at me, before walking away with a familiar expression on their face. It's the same one I had every time I opened another thing of wooden blocks: boredom.

The plastic toys, which, I won't lie, are well-made and well-designed toys, those are what the kids played with. For as long as we stayed at my apartment before continuing on to Christmas Part Number C, they played with those plastic toys. Batman did everything from fix the broken sink to get lobbed into my crotch by accident.

The cash register still remains untouched.

Sighs.

Maybe I can give it to my parents as a gift or something.

Do YOUR kids dig wooden toys?

 

Image via Kathy McGraw/Flickr

Replies

  • STVUstudent
    December 28, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    Okay, so to prove your point that wooden toys are boring, you buy a drastically reduced wooden cash register, and set it up to compete against BATMAN?  ROFLMFAO!

    My kids have some wooden toys, some plastic toys... some of the plastic toys are boring also... if I gave my daughters a cash register, wooden or plastic, they would set up shop and sell everything I own.  If I gave it to my son, it would become storage for Bey Blades and matchbox cars...

    Drop the cash register in the next toy drive you see, and forge on with the plastic... Batman rules, anyway...

  • MamaBear2cubs
    December 28, 2012 at 11:49 AM

    Melissa and Doug make some pretty awesome wooden toys!

  • mom2ljh
    by mom2ljh
    December 28, 2012 at 11:53 AM
    My son digs toys. I agree with the PP though, you set yourself up for failure on this one. A wooden toy gun would have fared far better.
  • Crazy_Daze
    December 28, 2012 at 11:56 AM

     My husband made wooden blocks for my youngest's 3rd birthday. Both my boys like those. They make obstacles for their cars, caves for their dinosaurs, towers they knock down, all kinds of stuff. They also have an Imaginext Castle that they love. They've had a wide variety of toys and play with all of them.

  • robbinsroost
    December 28, 2012 at 11:59 AM
    My kids like wood toys. They build one or two every month at Lowes. Their favorites are the wooden vehicals.
  • .Angelica.
    December 28, 2012 at 2:28 PM

    My son loves his wooden toys.

  • collinsmommy0
    December 28, 2012 at 3:31 PM
    My son loves his wooden toys, he has wooden cars, wooden pull toys, wooden stacking toys, a wooden rolling dog, a whole wooden train track set, and wooden puzzles....

    Maybe you shouldn't have bought them a toy like a cash register - like buy them something they are interested in instead of something random.

    Honestly, many of these articles seem made up, negative, or just lame.
  • imspikesmom
    December 28, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    My son loves his wooden toys! I keep those and resell the garish plastic ones (usually received from loved ones as gifts). I want my son to be able to use his brain and not rely on sounds and lights for entertainment. ... Though we do have some pretty obnoxious toys too.

  • hollydaze1974
    December 28, 2012 at 4:49 PM
    My two and a half year old does. Loves loves loooves his blocks, wooden chunky puzzles, wooden abacus, and a pretty complicated train puzzle that his big brother helps to put together so that he can pull it apart.

    He isn't into duplos or bristle blocks yet, but he will be. :-)

    And then the wood toys will be replaced with nerf, action figures, and legos.

    But this year, the eyes lit up at a minature dishwasher complete with two place setting and a wash cycle. Santa knew our biggest "naughty" list issue was playing with the grown up dishwasher where more than butter knives are placed for washing.
  • LntLckrsCmQut
    December 28, 2012 at 5:21 PM

    My 17 and 5 year old aren't really into toys. They had wooden toys when they were younger, though. The only toy my 5 year old got for Xmas was a cash register with fake money.

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