Toddlers & Preschoolers

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witchybabymomma
Development Question-Social interaction
December 18, 2012 at 3:04 PM

 My mother went to my son's christmas party at school because I had to work and I wanted to make sure he had his own "guest". When I called to ask her if he had fun she said yes, but expressed some concerns over the fact thay my son doesn't participate with almost any activity. He will be 2 1/2 at the end of this month. I have seen several notes on his daily papers saying he refused to participate in different activities, but I never really paid much attention because I thought it was normal for his age to not really participate in group activities.  I guess I am a little concerned now since my mother saw it as a little abnormal and said all of the other children in his class do participate. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone thinks this is normal or if I should talk to his doctor to try to find a way to encourage him to be more involved. BTW my mom said all he does when they do activities is just stand there watching, any tips or advice????

Oh thought I should probably also say that he is definately not the shy type and is normally very friendly and outgoing which is another reason I find his lack of participating as a little odd.

Replies

  • CJsMommy622
    December 18, 2012 at 3:06 PM
    That alone at that age wouldn't concern me. I might be if there were other things going on.
  • prettymomma1204
    December 18, 2012 at 3:12 PM
    Always talk to the doctor if you are concerned. I work with 2-4 year olds and will ocassionally have a child who has no desire to participate and chooses to watch from afar. His teachers are right not to make him join. I would talk with the teachers and get their insight and then go to his doctor with that info.
  • BramblePatch
    December 18, 2012 at 3:12 PM
    I think that if a teacher sends a note home you should ALWAYS pay attention. When someone help is helping to raise your child, you need to listen to their concerns .Lesson learned.

    Yes, given the teachers repeated attempts to inform you AND Your mothers observation, I would be concerned.
  • Poisongirl98
    December 18, 2012 at 3:32 PM
    I have to agree. Since he's not new there and this is an ongoing problem, I'd be concerned. By 2.5 he should be able to participate in some group activities., especially if he goes there regularly and they're routine. Now if he were newer or he was just starting a class and was hesitant,that would be a different story.


    Quoting BramblePatch:

    I think that if a teacher sends a note home you should ALWAYS pay attention. When someone help is helping to raise your child, you need to listen to their concerns .Lesson learned.



    Yes, given the teachers repeated attempts to inform you AND Your mothers observation, I would be concerned.

  • corrinacs
    December 18, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    Some children prefer tobe that way.  Could it be tat he's bored?  My son acted that way at this age, and it turned out that he needed to be with older children.  He was just lighyears ahead of his class :/.  He opened right on up when he was with children that he could play with :) :)

  • witchybabymomma
    December 18, 2012 at 9:21 PM

     His teacher never sends notes home I just saw the notations she made on his daily classroom sheet. I talked to her today and she said she thinks it's a behavior/not wanting to listen problem, but that doesn't really sound right to me. When he first started at the center he wasn't like that from what other people have said, but according to his teacher he has been. I get a bit of conflicting info depending on who at the center I talk to so I don't really know. It might be that he's bored, but they do a lot of learning activities and things so I don't think that would be the case. He may just not like group activities but like I said he is generally outgoing and wants to play with others so I wouldn't see that as being the case either because it is completely opposite from what I observe. I know his teacher has said he is really advanced in all other areas except his social interactions.

  • Ilaynasmommy
    December 18, 2012 at 11:49 PM
    Does he get one on one time with other kids his age?
  • kailu1835
    December 18, 2012 at 11:53 PM

    I think it is worth talking to a pediatrician about.  I have a friend who has a son with a social disorder.  She put him into a special needs preschool that she was able to get a scholarship for, and he is worlds better. 

  • BramblePatch
    December 18, 2012 at 11:56 PM
    At that age, kids might get bored (which...ehhh..., I doubt...no matter how advanced we think they are) but they still should want to play with their peers. Please heed the signs and get him checked out.


    Quoting witchybabymomma:

     His teacher never sends notes home I just saw the notations she made on his daily classroom sheet. I talked to her today and she said she thinks it's a behavior/not wanting to listen problem, but that doesn't really sound right to me. When he first started at the center he wasn't like that from what other people have said, but according to his teacher he has been. I get a bit of conflicting info depending on who at the center I talk to so I don't really know. It might be that he's bored, but they do a lot of learning activities and things so I don't think that would be the case. He may just not like group activities but like I said he is generally outgoing and wants to play with others so I wouldn't see that as being the case either because it is completely opposite from what I observe. I know his teacher has said he is really advanced in all other areas except his social interactions.


  • IQuitCounting
    December 18, 2012 at 11:56 PM

    Is he a perfectionist?  Is there a chance he wants to observe first so that he can learn the hows?  I know as a child I would not participate in things because I was afraid of doing them wrong, failing in front of the other kids, but then I'd go home and do whatever it was where no one could see.  Even to this day I like to perfect things before I do them in front of others.  I was in theatre for years and hated improv but was always off book first :)

    Could just be a charcater trait.  I would arrange a meeting with his teacher to see what her/his thoughts are, then maybe see if you can figure out what's going on in his head.

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