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ragitty
I probably shouldn't be so upset...
by ragitty
November 18, 2012 at 11:32 PM

Ds is turning 3 December 15th and we are throwing a big party for 2 reasons: 1-this is the first time ever his birthday is not during finals week (dh and I are both full time students) and 2-we will be moving a few hours away in May for my new job so this will be the last time we will be close to family for his birthday

We are throwing the party at my parents' house because they have a big house and our townhome is way too small to host anything and mil's house is even smaller (plus has 3 cats which I am allergic to). I told sil1 this a couple weeks ago and she told sil2, who got extremely offended that we weren't throwing it at mil's house and accused me of wanting it to be with my family only. 

Now, earlier today sil1 texted me and asked when the party was (I found it odd that she forgot seen as how she was in the center of the drama just 2 weeks ago). I told her and she said "oh, well that's the same day as a cookie bake I got invited to in St Louis (3.5 hours away)" and I said well it's up to you. She said she'd have to talk to her dh but she thinks she should go to the cookie bake. 

Then I created the event, inviting all of their family from St. Louis (who came down for my nephew's baptism and birthday but have never been down to see ds) to go to the party. The first response? Sorry wish I could come but that's the same day as the cookie bake (which I am, coincidentally, not invited to even though everyone else in the family is). I really want to just tell everyone I am sorry my son was born on such an inconvenient day and too bad I can't move his birthday.

I know I shouldn't be as hurt as I am but I can't help it. I have never done anything to make the family not like me but I feel like somehow I always offend them and they all hate me. I know I shouldn't be so upset but I can't seem to wrap my head around why this fucking cookie bake is so important yet they move heaven and earth to see my nephew, taking weeks off work and even driving down just to go trick or treating with him on Halloween. I need to stop now before I start crying again.

Replies

  • sophiesmom07
    November 20, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    I'm sorry. I understand why you're feeling hurt, but to hell with them. They have nothing to be offended about.  Plan your party. You extended an invitation. You did your part.  Whoever comes, comes.  Make it a special day for your son and don't you dare show them that you were that upset that they didn't show!   As far as they are concerned, you had THE BEST  time! ;)    

  • littleangie
    November 20, 2012 at 6:46 PM

    I've learned to work on a schedule that works for me and my kids when it comes to celebrating their birthday.   If they can, they will come, if not, I don't care.  My focus will be celebrating and cherishing  every moment of their special day.  At first, I was bothered by how some people are so insensitive, but worrying about it just not worth it. 

  • ragitty
    by ragitty
    November 20, 2012 at 7:10 PM

    This is where I am trying to get myself mentally. In action that is where I am. We make our own plans and we won't change them for anyone, but it still hurts when I feel like ds is getting pushed aside.

    Quoting littleangie:

    I've learned to work on a schedule that works for me and my kids when it comes to celebrating their birthday.   If they can, they will come, if not, I don't care.  My focus will be celebrating and cherishing  every moment of their special day.  At first, I was bothered by how some people are so insensitive, but worrying about it just not worth it. 


  • littleangie
    November 20, 2012 at 7:26 PM


    Quoting ragitty:

    This is where I am trying to get myself mentally. In action that is where I am. We make our own plans and we won't change them for anyone, but it still hurts when I feel like ds is getting pushed aside.

    Quoting littleangie:

    I've learned to work on a schedule that works for me and my kids when it comes to celebrating their birthday.   If they can, they will come, if not, I don't care.  My focus will be celebrating and cherishing  every moment of their special day.  At first, I was bothered by how some people are so insensitive, but worrying about it just not worth it. 

     

    I know it hurts, but think about how much fun you child is going to have on his birthday!  Those are the moments that you will never get back.  Guess what, your in-laws are going to miss out on it for a cookie bake. 

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