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Losing my mind over potty training my almost 4yo
November 15, 2012 at 6:31 PM
I've tried everything with him. Sitting him on it every 15 mins, which he does ok with and will pee in the potty but doesn't care. Tried pull ups, he will pee and poo in them... Even tried outside with nothing and it doesn't bother him for pee to run down his leg or go on his feet. I've tried bribery, rewards... Threats... Working with friends of his for maybe peer pressure... He doesn't care at all. I let him pick out big boy underwear and he was excited but apparently not enough. If I'm cooking dinner or something he won't even tell me when he poops, I have to check or smell it if his butt gets red. I'm losing my mind and I'm tired if people making me feel like I'm a horrible mother because of this. If I have to hear one more person tell me their kid was potty trained by 1 1/2 I'm gonna vomit.

Any tips? Ideas? Something I haven't tried?


  • pmsforlife
    November 15, 2012 at 6:34 PM
    Honestly! Eff what those ppl say. IMO he will when he's ready! Keep trying just 1 way not different ways
  • MrS.GiFFord
    November 15, 2012 at 6:35 PM

    Yup. Been there as I am a mother two boys and one is Autistic. Fun times. I did everything you listed and it all came down to them being ready. Don't stress about it too much because they can pick up on that. Eventually I just encouraged it but didn't push it. My oldest(Autistic) was trained by 4 1/2 and my youngest was trained by 3 1/2 but had accidents here and there unlike my older who has never had an accident! Its a stressful process but just day this will be a distant memory. Mine are 7 and almost 5 and I can't even remember what diapering was like lol.

  • xoxRachelxox
    November 15, 2012 at 7:25 PM

    Never threaten with potty training. It will just hurt them more.

    He will do it when he's ready.

    Ask him every half an hour or so if he needs to go. If he does then fine, take him but if he doesn't then leave him be.

    My son wasn't fully potty trained until a few months ago and he will be 5 in Feb.

  • xoxRachelxox
    November 15, 2012 at 7:27 PM

    Oh and as for the other people making comments.

    Just simply tell them that every kid potty trains when THEY are ready and he's just not ready yet. That's what I did with my middle son. The one I mentioned.

    My youngest is 3 and he will pee and poop in the potty sometimes but sometimes he wants a diaper to go in and I let him. He will do it when he's ready.

  • Luvmy2babies22
    November 15, 2012 at 7:28 PM

    My tip is stop training him.  You are wrapped up in a power struggle that you cannot win.  He has 100% control over what comes out, when and where and he knows it.  He's almost 4, put him in underwear full time and put him in charge of cleaning up any and all accidents.  It's not a punishment, just a natural consequence to his choices.  Sit him down, explain that he's a big boy and he is in charge of using the potty from now on.  If he has an accident he needs to change his clothes, put the dirty ones in the hamper and clean up the floor.  Give him complete control over the process and then ignore it.  No matter how frustrated you get, ignore it.  If he comes to you "mommy, i had an accident"  you say "okay, clean it up and clean yourself up."  matter-of-factly and then continue doing whatever you were doing.  once mommy isn't tearing her hair out, the game becomes a lot less fun.

    continue to use a diaper/pull-up for sleeping.

  • huskermom98
    November 15, 2012 at 7:49 PM

    I know exactly how you feel!!!  Especially the part about hearing about how others got their kids trained before 2...or worse, are having problems getting their less than 2yo trained...sigh...

    But yes, patience is the key.  I had to stop training my then 3.5yo a year ago because I just couldn't handle one more poopy underwear mess.  He picked up on peeing in the potty ok (helped to let him go naked in the house because he knew that it wasn't good to be peeing on the floor...) but was having problems not having accidents at preschool.  When I started again trying to get him trained several months later he did great with #1, and was having a little success with #2.  Honestly, he'll turn 5 in February and is still pooping in his underwear most of the time.  It's hard to not get upset, but I do my best to keep it positive...believing that any day now he'll have his big breakthrough. 

  • hismommy2010
    November 15, 2012 at 7:55 PM

     First, keep in mind that each kid is different. They reach milestones at different ages. I don't think it's anything YOU are doing or aren't doing. Maybe he just isnt ready yet.

    My son will be 3 january 31st. At 1 and a half, he started showing interest in wanting to potty train.

    He had seen his dad go potty ( pee) and i think that's what made him interested. So we went out that next day and bought a potty chair. He tells me about 50% of the time if he needs to pee. But he has only pooped in the potty 2 times.

    I don't press the issue, because pressure just makes them loose interest. I do praise him and dance and clap when he does go, and tell him how proud iam of him. Not saying that you aren't doing that, but if you havent then give that a try. But keep in mind that if he isnt ready, then it wont work.

    as for the ones getting on your nerves, ignore them.

  • Jenner8
    by Jenner8
    November 15, 2012 at 10:01 PM

    Potty Training is so much fun.  I have a girl who begged for Pull-Ups, but decided to use them the same as diapers.  I'll admit I tried everything and nothing worked.  Finally I told her it was up to her, but it was her responsibility to change her own diaper if she decided not to potty... For about two weeks she had to take off her dirty diaper, throw it in the trash, wash her butt, and get her clean diaper on all by herself (yeah I cleaned her and the bathroom up more than once).  She hated having to touch a dirty diaper and started using the potty.  Good luck... and try not to worry so much, he'll figure it out eventually.  So happy to know that I'll never have to deal with that stage again!  Looking back I wouldn't have pushed so much, but oh well live and learn.

  • kelly24019
    November 16, 2012 at 9:32 AM
    Thanks guys, I'll try some of those things. Makes me feel better to see not all kids are perfectly trained by 2.
  • Barronbaby
    November 16, 2012 at 9:36 AM
    Most people who say their child was trained by 2 are lying! Most kids potty train between 2.5-4 years old. My 3 year old got it in his head one day to go into underwear. Hasn't been in a diaper since and he cleans up any(if any) messes he makes

    Quoting kelly24019:

    Thanks guys, I'll try some of those things. Makes me feel better to see not all kids are perfectly trained by 2.

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