Toddlers & Preschoolers
My 3yo has been in his room for 24+hrs avoiding cleaning up a mess he made yesterday afternoon. I don't know what to do!! He got in trouble for bugging a brother and was sent to his room (I needed to put laundry away upstairs so his room was the best option for keeping an eye on him). while in his room he threw a box of K'Nex and they are all over his room. It was a smaller box, so it's not a ton of stuff. I told him pick it up and you can come out. He refused all night. I was on him all night and redirected him back to the task at hand. I worked around his room hoping it would motivate him to get it done. I was not going to do it for him. He fell asleep without picking them up. This morning he got up about 7:30, ate breakfast, sat with me on the couch for a minute then was sent upstairs to clean up the mess. This has literally lasted all day. He's been redirected every single time he has come downstairs. I don't know what to do at this point. Do I stay the course or change battle tactics?? He's three. He picks up toys everyday...why is *this* such a battle?!
Replies
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Take them away! Bag them up and if he doesn't clean keep taking toys away he will get the idea or he won't have toys and there will be no issue.
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Well they are his brother's (they share a room, he's 6). Also my 3yo doesn't really play with toys and there aren't any other toys in the bedroom to confiscate for a bit of dramatic effect. So, I kinda don't know what to do with this terribly stubborn boy. But he always has to clean up, so I don't understand why he has taken such a stance on picking up these toys.
Quoting Brandy85412:
Take them away! Bag them up and if he doesn't clean keep taking toys away he will get the idea or he won't have toys and there will be no issue.
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Move on! He is WAY too little for all of this! He is 3 years old, come on. He should have gotten 3 mins time out as punishment and made to HELP you clean it up. 3 mins! It is reasonable for 1 min for each year old they are. -
Go get a garbage can and throw them out. Tell him since he treats his stuff like trash you will throw it out. Then do it. -
bummer. Thats just what I do. We also spank and that helps a stubborn attitude, but I don't want to start a debate on that. LOL just what we do and it works.
Quoting tennisgal:
Well they are his brother's (they share a room, he's 6). Also my 3yo doesn't really play with toys and there aren't any other toys in the bedroom to confiscate for a bit of dramatic effect. So, I kinda don't know what to do with this terribly stubborn boy. But he always has to clean up, so I don't understand why he has taken such a stance on picking up these toys.
Quoting Brandy85412:
Take them away! Bag them up and if he doesn't clean keep taking toys away he will get the idea or he won't have toys and there will be no issue.
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I would stay the course. Of course its getting extreme but hes digging his heels in hard. If he doesn't clean them up shortly start taking away his important toys until he complies. I understand the earlier post about his age and moving on but he knows exactly what hes doing. Once you pick a battle with your child you must win or you lose credibility. You may choose another tactic next time but you have to finish this. -
Well, you've already said he has to stay there until he does it. So, if you back down now, he wins. Maybe give both of you an out. Plan a trip to the park for lunch tomorrow (or something) and tell him if he wants to go, it needs to be done. I've been in battles like this several times with both kids. Strong willed they're called, though I think that's a bit of an understatement lol. Hold tight to what you said and show him you're the parent and you're in control. Good luck! -
that's how i feel, but now i'm getting incredibly annoyed!! he's so incredibly stubborn, but picking up his toys/room isn't some new concept to him either.
Quoting Luvmy2babies22:
I would stay the course. Of course its getting extreme but hes digging his heels in hard. If he doesn't clean them up shortly start taking away his important toys until he complies. I understand the earlier post about his age and moving on but he knows exactly what hes doing. Once you pick a battle with your child you must win or you lose credibility. You may choose another tactic next time but you have to finish this. -
not against spanking. it isn't effective for this child. with my 6yo it worked immediately for him, you raise your voice to my 5yo and his feelings are hurt and not much else needs to be done, but spanking is not effective for this three year old.
Quoting Brandy85412:
bummer. Thats just what I do. We also spank and that helps a stubborn attitude, but I don't want to start a debate on that. LOL just what we do and it works.
Quoting tennisgal:
Well they are his brother's (they share a room, he's 6). Also my 3yo doesn't really play with toys and there aren't any other toys in the bedroom to confiscate for a bit of dramatic effect. So, I kinda don't know what to do with this terribly stubborn boy. But he always has to clean up, so I don't understand why he has taken such a stance on picking up these toys.
Quoting Brandy85412:
Take them away! Bag them up and if he doesn't clean keep taking toys away he will get the idea or he won't have toys and there will be no issue.
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I tried this with a trip to the library today. It didn't work. However, if he sees me packing a picnic for lunch tomorrow it might seem more real to him. Also DH will be home tomorrow so his brothers can still go even if he doesn't get the mess picked up.
Quoting arkansasmama08:
Well, you've already said he has to stay there until he does it. So, if you back down now, he wins. Maybe give both of you an out. Plan a trip to the park for lunch tomorrow (or something) and tell him if he wants to go, it needs to be done. I've been in battles like this several times with both kids. Strong willed they're called, though I think that's a bit of an understatement lol. Hold tight to what you said and show him you're the parent and you're in control. Good luck!