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MyLittlePwny
Sexual harrassment at dd's school - **UPDATE**
October 5, 2012 at 8:56 AM

This may get a little long, but I will try and keep this as short as possible - I just could really use some advice right now.

My 4 year old dd is in Pre-K.  She attends the After School program in the afternoons for 2 hours until I get off work and pick her up.  There is a little boy in her after school class, C, who we've had a few issues with since the first day of school.  The first day I picked my dd up and she was crying.  Apparently, C had pushed her, pulled her hair and kissed her on the mouth.  She tried to push him off of her, in which the teacher put them both in time out.  I immediately brought it up to the owner of the school and she admitted to me that they've had some behavior issues with this child in the past.  So bad, apparently, that his parents have had to come and pick him up several times.

A couple of weeks later, my dd tells me that he kissed her again.  I immediately called the school and they told me that they would be talking with his parents about it.

Yesterday I go to pick her up, and discover that she has a new after school teacher, Mrs. T.  She was also my dd's teacher last year when she was in daycare, so we know her very well and love her to pieces.  She loves my dd and tells me that my dd is very special to her.

I take the opportunity to inform her about the problems that we have had with C and to please keep an eye on my dd.  She then told me that last week, C's parents had to come and pick him up because on the playground, he had pinned another little girl down and was trying to pull her clothes off.  Needless to say, I'm beyond shocked and no longer want this child anywhere near my daughter.

Here's my problem.  I know this teacher wasn't supposed to tell me this information, however, because we have had several problems with him these past few weeks, I don't want to take any chances at him doing something like this to my child.  It's obvious that he has issues, and I'm really upset that the school is still allowing him back each day.  I want to tell the school that I want them separated and I don't want my dd in the same class as him, but I also don't want to get the teacher in trouble.  More importantly, I don't want to risk something happening to my dd, because if he tries to kiss her again, my husband and I have agreed that we would press charges against the parents for sexual harrassment.  This boy is extremely aggressive and it's really starting to worry me.

Changing schools is not an option at this point (obviously, worst case scenario we would, but that would be our last resort).  WWYD if you were in this situation?

**UPDATE**

I called the main office for the Head Start program, which oversees the state's Pre-K program and spoke with a very nice lady there.  I explained to her what's going on and even she was curious as to why the child is still able to attend school.  She said that she was going to find out who's jurisdiction the school is under and have them conduct an investigation to get to the bottom of what's going on.  I requested to remain anonymous and the lady told me that she would call me to update me once she knows what actions they will take (investigation, etc.). If they feel that something is going on at home with this child, they will involve DFCS at that time.

In the mean time, I will be talking with the owner today and tell her that I've spoken with other parents and heard that he was involved in yet another incident and that I am requesting he be removed from my daughter's after school class.  If they move him, great, if not.. well, I don't think telling them I've already reported them is going to do anything but make a big ass stink.

Replies

  • jamesmommy32404
    October 5, 2012 at 9:05 AM
    I would have a long talk with the school and inform them that because of the issues your DD has had with C in the past you would feel more comfortable if they switch their classes...That way your not involving the teacher in what she told you...Sounds to me like C is learning this behavior somewhere and thinks it is okay to do it...If it keeps up I agree that you need to file something with the police and maybe get childrens and families involved...GOOD LUCK...
  • ToughLilMan1208
    October 5, 2012 at 9:14 AM
    I would file an annoymous complaint with DCF, and explain your situation. The school should not have that child there, he obviously needs one on one help, maybe he being molested. Maybe your his only voice, cause it seems like the school just keeps calling his parents, and nothing else is happrning after than. I'd pull my child out until the issue is resolved, but if theres no other school in town, and you have no other choice, I would report the school and child. Either way, report. He could get alot more agressive next time.
  • MyLittlePwny
    October 5, 2012 at 9:16 AM

    Thanks mama.  A friend of mine brought up the possibility that something may be happening at home with this little boy.  What 4 year old is naturally sexually aggressive like that?  They're not.  Do you then make an anonymous call to DFCS to have them do an investigation in the event this little boy is experiencing something at home?

    Quoting jamesmommy32404:

    I would have a long talk with the school and inform them that because of the issues your DD has had with C in the past you would feel more comfortable if they switch their classes...That way your not involving the teacher in what she told you...Sounds to me like C is learning this behavior somewhere and thinks it is okay to do it...If it keeps up I agree that you need to file something with the police and maybe get childrens and families involved...GOOD LUCK...


  • Threes.Company
    October 5, 2012 at 9:17 AM

    Honestly, I would talk to the owner and find out what their policy for removal is -- how many times does he get to do this before the parents are asking to find a new school?  This is not OK.  It's not just a small issue.  Kids get kicked out of preschools for biting and other aggression issues.  This should be the same.  Three strikes, you're out.  The parents need to get it under control (work with a counselor or whatever) or find a nanny or something for the child, if the teachers cannot keep him away from others. 

    I'd tell the owner either he goes or my DD goes.

  • mommyof11050307
    October 5, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    I would go in and talk to the school and demand something be done. I would also report the school and the child to CPS since they don't see a problem with him doing this. They are supposed to be portecting their students and they aren't.

  • MyLittlePwny
    October 5, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    A friend of mine actually suggested that this morning.  Do you think I should go straight to DCFS and wait, or bring it to the table that I want my dd away from him and report? 

    Quoting ToughLilMan1208:

    I would file an annoymous complaint with DCF, and explain your situation. The school should not have that child there, he obviously needs one on one help, maybe he being molested. Maybe your his only voice, cause it seems like the school just keeps calling his parents, and nothing else is happrning after than. I'd pull my child out until the issue is resolved, but if theres no other school in town, and you have no other choice, I would report the school and child. Either way, report. He could get alot more agressive next time.


  • piwife
    by piwife
    October 5, 2012 at 9:20 AM
    Maybe the little boy is getting abuse or his mother is and he sees it personally I would make sure that little boy gets help. Idk why the school hasn't reported the parents, this is not normal behavior.
  • jamesmommy32404
    October 5, 2012 at 9:25 AM
    Report it everywhere...This is very serious...Even if you don't report anonymously they cannot give names out...Sexual aggression is a learned behavior...Do whatever you can to protect your DD and all the other children...Be straight up and honest with the owner as well and tell them this is unacceptable...Try and talk to other parents as well and see if any of them are having the same issues...Get as many people involved as you can...You raise enough stink and they will have to start listening...
  • hudson.maggie
    October 5, 2012 at 9:26 AM
    Why hasn't the school called dfs? It sounds like he was or is being abused.

    But like a previous person said I would call and just explain because of what your dd has gone through you'd like for her or him to switch to another class.

    I'm still confused as to why they haven't really done much though?
  • MyLittlePwny
    October 5, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    Me too.  I'm really upset that they're allowing him back and the teacher even stated the same concerns.

    Quoting hudson.maggie:

    Why hasn't the school called dfs? It sounds like he was or is being abused.

    But like a previous person said I would call and just explain because of what your dd has gone through you'd like for her or him to switch to another class.

    I'm still confused as to why they haven't really done much though?


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