star121713
much needed advice!
July 13, 2013 at 2:06 AM
Hi I'm needing some advice I'm a lil confused sad upset you name it. I'm 17 weeks prego. My fiancée and I had an argument. He got mad at me cuz I was ready to come home and he wanted to stay and drink more which is an every weekend thing for the last two months. But amyways He came home with me things got a lil out of hand then he started to tell me I should have an abortionthat he told me that a long time ago. Then he went on and said he was a satanist then he was like praying talking to the devil asking if he could do him that one last favor. That this is the biggest mistake of his life :-( ........ idk what to do I feel so stupid ya know like what kind of person does that.... and when he told me the first time he was way drunk he didn't even remember. I left that night then he called me in the morning cuz he knew something was wrong and when I told him he apologized. He's been so happy bout the baby so I thought and then he tells me this and this is just part of it.

Replies

  • sugarcrisp
    July 13, 2013 at 6:03 AM

    Well I don't know what sect of Satanism he claims to align himself with but most actually have nothing to do with devil worship or praying to a demon of any sort. I'm willing to presume he did this to freak you out; get under your skin.

    I would suggest speaking to him in the AM when he's had some rest and a chance to sober up. Do not be bitchy to him. Do not be condescending. Calmly express your concerns after what happened and ask if this is how he truly feels. Go from there.

    If he doesn't feel this way, give him an ultimatum and don't back down- unless you're okay with a repeat performance of this, which there will be one. Tell him he needs to get help for his evident drinking problem (every weekend for two months is a problem, sorry) or he's out. And if he can't even remember, then there's a serious issue here. This is not an environment any child needs to be born into and it most certainly is not what you need right now (or ever really).

    If he does feel this way, therapy would be a good start, but if he refuses help both with his feelings and his alcohol abuse, it's time to cut him loose.

  • MamaNurse199
    July 13, 2013 at 9:47 AM
    Any man who would suggest an abortion isn't worth being with imo. He made the choice to have sex if he can't handle the natural consequences of those actions then how is he going to handle raising a child. .....
  • PartyOfCuatro
    July 13, 2013 at 9:51 AM
    This


    Quoting MamaNurse199:

    Any man who would suggest an abortion isn't worth being with imo. He made the choice to have sex if he can't handle the natural consequences of those actions then how is he going to handle raising a child. .....

  • LoveOfWisdom
    July 13, 2013 at 9:55 AM

    Sounds like a great man.  Sometimes our true feelings come out when we are drunk/wasted.  I'd have a very serious discussion with him and ask him how he really feels.  Lay down some ground rules for drinking/partying... you're about to be parents and theres no room for this anymore.

  • WillsMOM72
    July 13, 2013 at 10:45 AM
    You deserve better. If I was in that situation I'd leave for a little while to see if he got his shit together. If not you and the baby ate better off without him.
  • threat
    by threat
    July 13, 2013 at 5:48 PM
    I agree with this...


    Quoting sugarcrisp:

    Well I don't know what sect of Satanism he claims to align himself with but most actually have nothing to do with devil worship or praying to a demon of any sort. I'm willing to presume he did this to freak you out; get under your skin.

    I would suggest speaking to him in the AM when he's had some rest and a chance to sober up. Do not be bitchy to him. Do not be condescending. Calmly express your concerns after what happened and ask if this is how he truly feels. Go from there.

    If he doesn't feel this way, give him an ultimatum and don't back down- unless you're okay with a repeat performance of this, which there will be one. Tell him he needs to get help for his evident drinking problem (every weekend for two months is a problem, sorry) or he's out. And if he can't even remember, then there's a serious issue here. This is not an environment any child needs to be born into and it most certainly is not what you need right now (or ever really).

    If he does feel this way, therapy would be a good start, but if he refuses help both with his feelings and his alcohol abuse, it's time to cut him loose.


  • Larsbug
    by Larsbug
    July 13, 2013 at 9:45 PM

     true feelings tend to come out when drunk so I say drop his ass

  • lovinmy3girlies
    July 14, 2013 at 11:18 AM
    I say give him an ultimatum. This is a very vital stage for you- you don't need the stress!!
    On the other hand NO man should talk this way of a baby, ESP one he created.
    Let him know your sticking up for your child and if he speaks about him/her like this one more time or decides not to do something about the behavior that caused this you'll need to consider your babies safety and leave. This is hard- but worth it! GL!
  • star121713
    July 23, 2013 at 1:04 AM
    Thank you everyone for the support and advice appreciate it very much. I did discuss it with him and gave him an ultimatum. He took it and apologized for the things he said (which he didn't remember) he was so upset with himself. He didnt want to talk about it at first, he was afraid. Told him sorry we need to so i know what needs to be done. I told him I don't mind you drinking to relax, chill out a bit but to get drunk and out of hand an end up having a repeat of this is a different story and I wont do it anymore, I cant. I don't deserve it and I don't want the baby to be around that. I didn't back down that's for sure I let him know how I felt and what I thought needed to be done different. I wanna be his partner not his parent! ... anyways main point is everything has worked out. We agreed tog on the things that needed changing and things have been good!! Which really makes me happy!!
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