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truelove813
Unattached & feeling depressed
February 5, 2013 at 5:06 PM

Sorry this is long, but I need to vent. I got my first bfp in August 2012 and my husband and I were excited to have our first baby.  A week later I miscarried.  I pretty much got pregnant again right away, and got a bfp at the end of October.  I was afraid to get attached to the idea of being pregnant because of my previous loss.  I thought that after I heard the heartbeat for the first time I would start getting more attached.  I was thrilled to hear the heartbeat, and started feeling better about the pregnancy.  

As my 20 week ultra sound approached I started getting more and more nervous.  I desperately wanted a girl and knew I would be devastated if it was a boy.  A few nights before my ultra sound I had a dream that I gave birth to a boy, and I was completely numb, and didnt really want anything to do with the baby.  Well my ultra sound has come and gone, and we really are having a boy.  I tried to act excited while we were there, but my heart was broken. I went home and bawled my eyes out.  

I did some shopping, and picked out some boy clothes and started planning his nursery, which made me feel a little better. But now I am sitting here crying again, because I really do not want a little boy right now! I wanted a girl first! I feel so guilty. I should be happy that he is healthy.  Everyone keeps asking if I am excited, and I keep hiding behind the excuse that I cant think of a boy name, I hate them all.  Everyone keeps telling me that once he is here I will be over the moon with excitement.  I dont believe them. I just feel so depressed and unattached to this baby. sad

Replies

  • Pandapanda
    February 5, 2013 at 5:30 PM

    Why do you want a girl so bad? What makes you feel so negative about a little boy?

  • meam4444
    February 5, 2013 at 5:34 PM

     ((hugs))  When I was pregnant with my boy, I had a hard time relating...I really did put on a show to others.  I just really spaced myself off that I was actually have a baby boy.  When he was born, he was lucky that he had a few sleepers which I had just washed the day prior, he had no diapers which would fit him, only one baby boy blanket, barely any boy clothes....I think I just detached myself and couldn't get into the baby boy mood.  It was hard at first, but I really did fall in love with him.  I cant stop myself from buying boy items too--whereas when I was pregnant, I would go into carters, pick up a few boy items, and then just put them all back. 

    He is now 1, and I can't believe how amazing this year has been.  So, try to keep positive that you will develop a good relationship with your LO.  Perhaps, you could see a shrink or even talk to a friend to go through your emotions.

  • Larsbug
    by Larsbug
    February 5, 2013 at 6:53 PM

    why do you want a girl so badly? boys are SO much fun! I can't relate to what you are going through but I can imagine it's very diffucult.

  • amberandmonker
    February 5, 2013 at 6:55 PM

    I am really hoping this one is a girl.. but if its a boy it will be fine. I can kind of understand where you are coming from though. We have a 2.5 year old boy.. and I have to say he is a blast! He is so much fun to play with, he isn't prissy etc.. he is pretty easy to please.. All my friends have girls around the same age as my son and I have to say, other than potty training, he has been much easier. I hope you feel differently when you finally have your baby in your arms! 

  • nikkifam5
    February 5, 2013 at 6:57 PM
    I felt like this with both my boys. I felt I could relate better to girls. I just gave birth to my second boy 4 weeks ago. We now have 2 of each. I'd like one more and though I don't care either way, I wouldn't be disappointed at ALL if it were a boy again. In fact I would love another sweet baby boy :) when I saw my first son for the first time I cried hysterically! He was absolutely beautiful. And my second I still cry every time I look at him.. you won't feel that way after he's born . I was afraid I would be unattached but my boys have me wrapped :)
  • nikkifam5
    February 5, 2013 at 6:59 PM

    Mobile Photo

    My boy and I had a rough labor and delivery 4 weeks ago. He is for sure my baby :) just wait, you will see
  • avaana06
    February 5, 2013 at 7:03 PM

    One thing you have to remember is that this little boy is going to love you so much it is insane. Boys really can have such a close relationship with their mothers, especially when young. Nothing we say right now really matters because once you hold that beautiful boy you will be in love. Also, he didn't ask to be born. You wanted him, not knowing what he would be.

  • mandy1017
    February 5, 2013 at 11:57 PM
    Ive been there! Im pregnant and due any day with my 2nd boy. With my 1st son I was upset, I felt I couldn't relate to a boy at all.... when I had him, it al changed, he is now a total mamas boy! But when I found out I was having my 2nd boy, I was devastated, mostly because my husband said this was our last and I wanted to give my daughter a little sister, and I wanted to swtich things up a little... but again im totally ecstatic about having another baby! And my husband said we can have 1 more baby! So im excited about that... just try and get into it! I know its hard,but once you hold that sweet baby in your arms, you will be so in love :o)
  • jupiter5
    February 6, 2013 at 12:10 AM
    Aww I really wanted a girl too but those dreams are always right!! Just try to think of the positives a mommas boy boys give more huge :) they really are sweet And amazing. :D
  • Dylansmom1029
    February 6, 2013 at 8:26 AM
    I would suggest you dig deep within yourself & ask why are you so against having a boy!! As a mother of a son I can assure you the relationship you can grow with him could be the strongest love you have ever felt.. Boys are awesome aside from the tough play & messy clothes one day he will touch your heart & say mommy your beautiful or mommy I love you!! My son being four is such a lover!! But dont reject him before he arrives into the world pray and ask God for understanding & guidance! Best wishes remember you are blessed so many families desire a child and are unable to conceive..

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