mem82
Do you feel judged about this pregnancy?
by mem82
January 26, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Why?

Replies

  • Gingerbell.RN
    January 28, 2013 at 3:14 AM

     Yup!

    I JUST turned 24 and we are pregnant with #5. Technically our 6th pregnancy but we miscarried in 2011.

    Even though we have been together for 9 years, have our own home, I am a labor and delivery RN and he will be a SAHD. I feel we have our life together... I think 5 kids just terrifies some people.

    Our children now are 7,3,2 and 9 months.

  • Zamae
    by Zamae
    January 28, 2013 at 4:34 AM

    yes, especially my mom .. I get pregnant when I was 18 and 28 weeks pregnant now ..She thinks that I am VERY PROUD of what happened but I am not. I am  not proud of this BUT  i am blessed for what I have. Some people think that i am a flirt but I had to be strong  and face the judge of the society

  • beckham19
    January 28, 2013 at 6:57 AM
    I felt extremely judged. And still do my twins are almost 8 months old now but 5 months corrected because they were born at 29 weeks and 1 day. 11 weeks early. My moms side of the family is strict Irish catholic and she refused to tell or let me tell anyone until I was 20 weeks along. Funny now that 9 weeks later I sent out birth announcements. But I was 19 when I became pregnant and 20 when I had them. I will be 21 in a little over a month. And also I am bipolar so my mom was scared for me because of possibly having to be hospitalized for the pregnancy messing with my brain chemistry. Also her family is severely judgmental and because my fiancé and I aren't married this was a big no no in there eyes. My cousin announced her second pregnancy (with her husband) just hours before I announced mine to the family and I was never congratulated by my moms side but my cousin got tons of congrats and people were proud of her and not me. I've chosen not to get married yet because my medication is very expensive and I can keep my parents excellent insurance until I'm 26 as long as I don't get married. And in the other hand I didn't want to make Richard feel like he had to marry me just because we were having kids I wanted him to propose on his own time so I would never have to wonder if we were together because we loved each other or just because we had babies together. He recently proposed and we are so happy and completely in love. But my mom and dad consider Richard and I married and I do as well we just don't have the official paperwork and the Irish catholic side doesn't accept that. Even when they were born no one congratulated me and my baby shower consisted of my finances side of the family an a couple close friends of mine. I understand that they were severely premature and sometimes people don't know what to say because it is a delicate situation but they are doing wonderful now at home and gaining weight quickly even meeting milestones that I was told they wouldn't for a couple more months. Our doctor told me that they are almost like term babies at this point because of how well they are doing!! It's just really hard to not get the acceptance I was looking for or to not be able to share my joys with much of my family like I would love to be able to do. Sorry for the long winded message I just never get to express how I feel about it because my mom always makes excuses and my fiancé tells me to not worry about it but it does hurt alot. I also am the only one in my extended family to be adopted and felt like the odd one out all the time and I don't want my boys to feel the same judgement from them just because I chose to wait to get married. They were also unplanned my birth control was recalled and I was never informed of the recall until after I found out I was pregnant and looked it up to see what had gone wrong. It's hard enough to be a young mother or a young mother of twins especially when you have to go threw the whole nicu experience and the worries that comes with prematurity but its really hard to not feel like your very supported and to have constant judgement placed on you. Thanks for reading this really helped to get it all out finally
  • MamaScho88
    January 28, 2013 at 7:10 AM

     I was definately judged with my first since I had her so young, I was only 17...but after she was born all I got told was how wonderful a job I am doing. I didn't feel judged with my second because he was born when I was almost 21 and I had been married to my ex for 4 years...I did not feel judged with my 3rd because my husband and I had planned him, I had alot of help and support during my pregnancy with the 2 kids I already had because my husband was away on a deployment in afghanistan...our son brought so much joy to our family when he was born. I somewhat feel judged with this pregnancy, partly because she wasn't planned and my youngest is only 19 months old, and also because I am only 25 and having my 4th baby, but that's how I wanted it, to have my children fairly close in age, and to be done having children before I am 30, this will be my last baby. I probably shouldn't even be feeling judged at all, but I do at times. My husband and I are married, I am a sahm, and he is working full time for a building company, he is an army veteran, recently got sworn in as a fire fighter and is also working on his EMT certification....we have our own vehicle and rent a 5 bedroom apt from a family member of his, all my kids are happy healthy and living in a stable environment, we are not on welfare and they have everything that they want/need...I think we are doing just fine for only being 25 :) Everyone is really excited for her to arrive, especially my husbands side of the family, she will be the first girl born into the family in 10-15 years :)

  • LuvMommysBabies
    January 28, 2013 at 10:47 AM
    The family doesn't like the fiance, we already have a ds (05/2010), dd (8/2011) and this baby will be due 9/2013. We've known each other for 7 years and started dating 4yrs ago. I'm 25 and he's 26.
  • louzannalady
    January 28, 2013 at 2:45 PM

    Definately wait until after the baby is born. They have a 90% c-section rate and due routine episiotomies and vacuum extractions... It is scary as heck to birth in Brazil! 

    Quoting baby2013143:

    I feel judged all the time. I'm in a very difficult situation. My fiance got deported in october and he wont be coming back for a long tome. I have a wonderful life here. A great job, wonderful supportive family, a mastets degree. I have decided to move to brazil with him after I have the baby. Many people judge my decision. All in all they want the best for me but many think I should stay here. Its very hard.


  • hdbarth612514
    January 28, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    Im pretty sure people are judging me but i dont think people have the guts to say it to my face. This one was very unplaned. i was on birthcontol and my newest baby was 4 months old. I am not working due to a couple reasons, we have no car, jobs are hard to find around here, and its costs 7 dollars a hour to put my lil on in daycare. my boyfriend works and our bills get paid but we are very tight on money otherwise. 

  • momma4xover
    January 29, 2013 at 12:10 PM

    With this being my 5th pregnancy I do get a lot of comments like, "you know what causes that right?" or "you know that sex causes pregnancy right?" I am a bit annoyed, because yes, I do understand those things- which is why we had sex. To create a baby! lol

    I think my mom worries about me because she had 7, and she understands how tough having lots of children can be. My MIL worried because she didn't even want to two she had (well, she wanted the kids, but not the pregnancies- said it creeped her out).

    I don't really care what people think, we wanted to have 5 children and that is what we are doing. Hubby is getting snipped after this one but waiting, just "in case". We love our kids and take care of them without anyone's help, why can't we have the amount we want without people thinking we just don't understand sex?

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