Pregnancy

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chelseagrinn
Advice for difficult decision, feeling emotionally abused
December 29, 2012 at 4:34 AM

As of right now I am 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I have been put on bed rest due to high blood pressure and am waiting around for the results of a 24 hour urine test to test protein for pre-clampsia. Meanwhile,

The boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant on the forth of july, we found out officially the day before I was 13 weeks after multiple negative tests. At first we were confused as to what to do. I am now only 20 years old and we are not exactly financially stable, especially now that i've been put on bedrest. Eventually we got excited, making a registry and picking out names and he carried every little thing for me. He treated me like a genuine princess. About a month or two ago he went under a complete turn around. I have to beg him for attention or to help me up..help me carry things..sit with me through contractions. He now will not listen to me, barely answers me when I talk and when he came home from work today he wouldn't even be in the same room as me. He has become completely cold and emotionally abusive..accuses me of cheating on him.He won' touch me even to hold my hand or touch my belly when the baby moves.. I have tried everything but get nothing in return. I have spent the last week on bedrest crying quite literally all day. Which to me seems worse for my blood pressure then when I was working or anything before. I can't eat, the crying makes me throw up..no one checks on me to see if I need anything knowing I am stuck in bed and should not be going up and down stairs.

My mother has been trying to get me to move back in with her since announcing I was pregnant. I can not be around her for a minute without being pressured about it. I have moved from my grandmother's to my boyfriend's to my mothers multiple times during this pregnancy and I have lost all sense of having somewhere I can actually call home..I dread raising a child in this kind of enviroment. 

My OB GYN has no interest or concern with me. When I did my 24 hour urine test I came to turn it in to the hospital the next day and they told me they didn't even have an order for it and it was useless to take. They made me feel as if it was my fault..I paged the doctor to call me back and she never did. TWICE. She doesn't stay in the room long enough for me to ask any questions..will not show up for appointments and not even call to tell me..leaves in the middle of appointments..I have to ASK her for the results of all my tests and BEG her for ultrasounds. I've only had two. She says I have hypertension and may need to be induced next week and I am terrified..

Tonight while stressing out I began to feel suicidal. I have no one to talk to who understands..no sense of comfort or home..no one to share any kind of excitement with..I decided to pack some things and come to stay with my mother..now sitting here I can't sleep and i'm still miserable..imagining the boyfriend out with his friends and not caring where I am. he won't answer any of my texts. I am at a loss for words as to how broken I feel and have no idea what to do. I fgured I would make an account and ask for some advice from other moms who may not be as biased as the people around me. Any response would be at the very least comforting.

Replies

  • Mrs_Schuckers
    December 29, 2012 at 4:53 AM

    sadI just want to hug you. It's terrible you have to go through this and you feel so alone. As much as you don't want to,  moving in with a family member would probably be best. You should try to have a talk with your boyfriend and if he doesn't try to work on things and help you through this you should cut your losses. Try to take care of yourself and enjoy your baby. You can definitely do this.

  • TTC2Long
    December 29, 2012 at 4:54 AM
    Aw, hun. I'm so sorry you're going through all this. :( I know right now things seem bleak, but you'll pull through. Have you given any thought to adoption?
  • emiller3321
    December 29, 2012 at 4:57 AM
    I am sorry your going through this! You can always msgme and we can talk sometimes that helps! I have been on bedrest 3 different timed it sucks
  • stressedmama24
    December 29, 2012 at 4:59 AM
    Awww. Ur feelings are completely normal.for ur situation. If u need a friend feel.free to pm.me. huggs!
  • chelseagrinn
    December 29, 2012 at 5:03 AM

    It's not that I am unable to support myself normally, it's just with pregnancy. I feel as if after the baby is born I can go back to work (i've always worked 2 jobs at a time) and get myself stable enough to maybe get an apartment for us. My mother is so ecstatic about my pregnancy, I don't feel as if staying with her would be bad..just not like home..and a little imposing. My mother was a single mom..as was hers..and just about everyone else in my family..I really had hoped we could have worked through these issues and been a little family. I guess deep down I was prepared to do this alone, being so used to it around me. My expectations may have just been too high. He is so great with going to doctors appointments and taking care of me when he knows it's expected of him but at home he is downright nasty.

    And on adoption, yes. When I first found out I was considering the option but after a week or two of conversation we were sure we wanted to keep the baby and raise it like neither of us had growing up. We both were raised by single mothers. At this point I am so in love with this little person i've never even got to hold yet I could never let it go. I would do anything for her. It's not her I regret. It's her father.

  • mommyof2kids306
    December 29, 2012 at 5:03 AM
    Wished I could hug you. I pray for your situation. You don't need to be in the boyfriends house. He doesn't deserve you. I would stay with your mom. Just until you can get on your feet.


    Quoting chelseagrinn:

    As of right now I am 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I have been put on bed rest due to high blood pressure and am waiting around for the results of a 24 hour urine test to test protein for pre-clampsia. Meanwhile,

    The boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant on the forth of july, we found out officially the day before I was 13 weeks after multiple negative tests. At first we were confused as to what to do. I am now only 20 years old and we are not exactly financially stable, especially now that i've been put on bedrest. Eventually we got excited, making a registry and picking out names and he carried every little thing for me. He treated me like a genuine princess. About a month or two ago he went under a complete turn around. I have to beg him for attention or to help me up..help me carry things..sit with me through contractions. He now will not listen to me, barely answers me when I talk and when he came home from work today he wouldn't even be in the same room as me. He has become completely cold and emotionally abusive..accuses me of cheating on him.He won' touch me even to hold my hand or touch my belly when the baby moves.. I have tried everything but get nothing in return. I have spent the last week on bedrest crying quite literally all day. Which to me seems worse for my blood pressure then when I was working or anything before. I can't eat, the crying makes me throw up..no one checks on me to see if I need anything knowing I am stuck in bed and should not be going up and down stairs.

    My mother has been trying to get me to move back in with her since announcing I was pregnant. I can not be around her for a minute without being pressured about it. I have moved from my grandmother's to my boyfriend's to my mothers multiple times during this pregnancy and I have lost all sense of having somewhere I can actually call home..I dread raising a child in this kind of enviroment. 

    My OB GYN has no interest or concern with me. When I did my 24 hour urine test I came to turn it in to the hospital the next day and they told me they didn't even have an order for it and it was useless to take. They made me feel as if it was my fault..I paged the doctor to call me back and she never did. TWICE. She doesn't stay in the room long enough for me to ask any questions..will not show up for appointments and not even call to tell me..leaves in the middle of appointments..I have to ASK her for the results of all my tests and BEG her for ultrasounds. I've only had two. She says I have hypertension and may need to be induced next week and I am terrified..

    Tonight while stressing out I began to feel suicidal. I have no one to talk to who understands..no sense of comfort or home..no one to share any kind of excitement with..I decided to pack some things and come to stay with my mother..now sitting here I can't sleep and i'm still miserable..imagining the boyfriend out with his friends and not caring where I am. he won't answer any of my texts. I am at a loss for words as to how broken I feel and have no idea what to do. I fgured I would make an account and ask for some advice from other moms who may not be as biased as the people around me. Any response would be at the very least comforting.


  • chelseagrinn
    December 29, 2012 at 5:04 AM

    And thanks to everyone for your replys and offering support. It is great to know there are people around who care and can better understand my situation.

  • rockabillybetty
    December 29, 2012 at 5:08 AM
    Darkest before the dawn! Im soo sorry my bf was the same way when i was pregnant he slept on the couch for months!! I was always leaving to my moms house back to my house back to my mom's again i cried and cried feeling i didn't want my baby but staying apart and not crying arguing made my pregnancy more enjoyable feeling baby move felt good knowing here is someone who will love me no matter what. After 9 months of misery something changed in him the day i went into labor he is his old self! Happy hugs me kisses me stays up with our baby he's incredibly helpful its wonderful. I know its hard feels hopeless. And you feel like nothing will make you ferl ok again but staying with your mom is the best for you and baby you need rest not stress. Im always on and off of here all day if you need a shoulder messege me :) everything will be ok you just need rest right now
  • stressedmama24
    December 29, 2012 at 5:10 AM
    I havr been on bedrest with my first three pregnancies ( hopefully it wont happen with this one). My last baby i had high blood pressure. So i knoe how u feel


    Quoting chelseagrinn:

    And thanks to everyone for your replys and offering support. It is great to know there are people around who care and can better understand my situation.


  • chelseagrinn
    December 29, 2012 at 5:12 AM

    Everyone keeps telling me that when I go into labor and have the baby he will get more supportive and  that it's just hard for guys to feel realistic before the baby is born..I would be so happy for things to turn out this way but just can't let myself get my hopes up on the idea. After all the things he's said..I would be devistated to be let down that way.

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