amc103
HUGE baby. I need advice really badly. Doulala, I need you! And everyone else too. PIOG
by amc103
December 8, 2012 at 3:02 AM

I had my 28 week appt on Thursday night. Let me preface this update by saying that I am an American living in Poland with my hubby and son. we've been here for 3.5 years. The idea on childbirth is much different here. The doctors dont get any extra money from performing a c section, so the rate of c section is much lower than in the US. (I had a c section with my son in the US in 2009 for a failed induction) My hubby and I decided to move back to the US in the next few years. But first we decided it would be better to have our last child here so I have a better chance at having a vbac. I have a doctor that up until now, I have loved. She was with me through a loss last year and it very much into doing things naturally. (when my iron was low, she give me a recipe for pickled beets instead of telling me to take an iron supplement) At my appt on Thursday, she did a u/s and my baby boy was measuring 31 weeks. :-( 1600 grams. Thats about 3.5 pounds. My dates are not off. I passed the glucose test with flying colors....I dont have eclampsa. Im as fit as a fiddle. I just make some big babies! DS1 was 11 lbs 6 oz and 22.5 inches long. She told me that its very likely that I will have another c section. :-( This conversation crushed me. Ive been thinking of nothing else since then. She said that this baby will be really big too, (probably bigger than my first) and she is worried about things like shoulder distocia, and my previous c section scar opening. She said that at 40 weeks, she's going to look at three things....1. the position of the baby, (he needs to be head down) 2. the estimated weight  3. the thickness of my internal scar via u/s. If the scar is looking thinned out, the baby is measuring over 4.5 kilos, and is not head down, she will reccomend a repeat c section. Of course she told me its my choice, but also mentioned that if I attempt a vaginal birth and something starts to go wrong, that NONE of the doctors will touch me for fear of being blamed for major injury or death. This frightened me. I dont know what to do now. I was induced last time and I think that had a lot to do with why I had the c section. Unless Im 42 weeks, I will refuse induction. I want my body to go into labor naturally. IF my body starts labor, and the labor process stalls or the baby's heartrate goes down, then of course, I will agree to a c section. I dont want to put my child's life at risk. So should I attempt a vaginal birth even though I will likely have a 12 lb + baby? I know that people always say that women can birth big babies......but I think they're talking about 10 pounds big, not 12 or 13 or 14 lbs!!!! What do you ladies think? I really dont want to distroy my body or hurt my baby. Should I just agree to a repeat section? Or should I let my body try? Im at such a loss. My hubby isnt much help. He used to be supportive untill Thursday and now he's telling me he's afraid I'll take it too far just to get what I want. He's afraid he'll loose baby AND me. I feel like crying all the time. I dont want to have another c section. I dont want to stay in a hospital for 5 days (standard here) where no one speaks English, wondering what they are doing to me and putting into my IV. I dont want to have antibiotics (preventitive) cause me to get thrush in my breast and pass that back and forth between me and baby and eventually give up on BF because it hurts so much. I dont want to have retained placenta a month after my c section and have another major vaginal hemmorage during a dinner party and get rushed to the ER and then have an unmedicated D&C in my doctor's office the next day. I dont want to go through months of trying to find the right formula for my baby and rushing him to the ER for constipation issues, all because I didnt BF longer than a month, again. finally, I dont want to do all this while living in a country away from my friends and family with no help. can anyone offer me some words of kindness and advice?

Replies

  • rayroe2
    by rayroe2
    December 8, 2012 at 3:10 AM

    Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?

  • melroseb1230
    December 8, 2012 at 5:39 AM

    The bad thing about measurements like that is they can be off by a couple of lbs. and the weekly measurement can change also. I really wouldn't worry too much about it yet.  I measure three weeks big during most of my pregnancy, now at 38 wks I am measuring right on target. I would love to be able to try for a vbac but unfortunately the only hospital where I live doesn't allow them.  Wait it out a bit then make your decision.

  • trilliandent42
    December 8, 2012 at 6:47 AM

    First off, relax...  There are a lot of "what ifs" going on.  Regardless of what happens, you are still going to have a beautiful child!  You had an emergency c-section before, right?  Planned c-sections are supposed to be a bit easier, if you have to go that route.  I know everything seems like it is out of control, but it will get better, and you will be okay.  Pregnancy is crazy, dangerous, and beautiful.  Enjoy the fact that you are growing a life inside of you, you don't have that much time left (only 12 weeks!)  I know news you do not want to hear from the Dr. is devastating, I went through it at 27 weeks, but it does get better, and everything will be okay.  Give your hubby a couple of days to process this, then look for support.  Men always need more time.   

    hugs

  • hthrlcl
    by hthrlcl
    December 8, 2012 at 7:34 AM
    first off yea, women can birth big babies. My aunt gave birth to a 15 pound baby vaginally, and the women in texas either this year or last year did too. I really think at this point, you have to make the desion of whats best for you and your baby. Maybe make a pro and con list for both.
  • Angela4boys
    December 8, 2012 at 7:40 AM
    Personally, unless you have a very narrow pelvis, I think you can have a vaginal birth with a 13+ pounder if it's important to you. Our bodies are meant to accommodate. I don't know if I am allowed to recommend websites, but there is a great blog called birth without fear. It's great! Lots of v-bac success stories, and natural birth stories of BIG babies. You have to go in with a positive attitude ( but be flexible). Have faith in your amazing body :)
  • orangeshirt
    December 8, 2012 at 7:48 AM
    Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.

    To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.


    Quoting rayroe2:

    Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?


  • amc103
    by amc103
    December 8, 2012 at 7:59 AM

    Im sorry you went through all that not fun stuff too. It definitley gives me a lot to think about. Ive lived here 3 years and Ive had the same dr the whole time and she's been singing a different tune the whole time Ive known her. (we can do a vbac-you're a good candidate, etc) Thats why I was so devastated on thursday...it was like she took a completley different approach that I had never seen. I honestly think the fact that he's measuring so big freaked her out too. 

    Quoting rayroe2:

    Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?


  • amc103
    by amc103
    December 8, 2012 at 8:01 AM

    Yes, I know you're right. I shouldnt worry about it just yet. Im glad that you're measuring right on target now. :-) It must be good news. Im sorry you cant do a vbac. :-( Any chance of a home birth? I would really consider this if I lived in the US still. Thank you for the calm words. :-)

    Quoting melroseb1230:

    The bad thing about measurements like that is they can be off by a couple of lbs. and the weekly measurement can change also. I really wouldn't worry too much about it yet.  I measure three weeks big during most of my pregnancy, now at 38 wks I am measuring right on target. I would love to be able to try for a vbac but unfortunately the only hospital where I live doesn't allow them.  Wait it out a bit then make your decision.


  • amc103
    by amc103
    December 8, 2012 at 8:02 AM

    You are so right...I should just focus on my beautiful baby right now. I know I'll miss being pregnant when Im not anymore...since he will likely be our last. Im sorry you got bad news too at 27 weeks. How far along are you now?

    Quoting trilliandent42:

    First off, relax...  There are a lot of "what ifs" going on.  Regardless of what happens, you are still going to have a beautiful child!  You had an emergency c-section before, right?  Planned c-sections are supposed to be a bit easier, if you have to go that route.  I know everything seems like it is out of control, but it will get better, and you will be okay.  Pregnancy is crazy, dangerous, and beautiful.  Enjoy the fact that you are growing a life inside of you, you don't have that much time left (only 12 weeks!)  I know news you do not want to hear from the Dr. is devastating, I went through it at 27 weeks, but it does get better, and everything will be okay.  Give your hubby a couple of days to process this, then look for support.  Men always need more time.   

    hugs


  • amc103
    by amc103
    December 8, 2012 at 8:04 AM

    Really?? wow! Thats super reassuring. Thank you! I hope I get to do it vaginally too. I just really hope he's not going to be 15 lbs, although it looks like it could be close! A pro and con list is a great idea! I will do it. thank you. 

    Quoting hthrlcl:

    first off yea, women can birth big babies. My aunt gave birth to a 15 pound baby vaginally, and the women in texas either this year or last year did too. I really think at this point, you have to make the desion of whats best for you and your baby. Maybe make a pro and con list for both.


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