cammye
my depression is worse every day
by cammye
November 29, 2012 at 4:58 PM
I am about 10 weeks into an unplanned pregnancy. im 22 dating my 20 yr old bf for bout a year now. I have a little over a year left in school and I was taking a break to really figure out what i wanted to do with my life. now i feel trapped. the once spontaneous outgoing hopeless romantic young girl has been slowly sucked away by my tears and hopelessness and moodiness.i even feel different about my boyfriend. He doesnt have a job and that has always bothered me but now it crawls sll over me. i work six days a week while he plays every day... he is 20 and i begged him to get a job and quit the drugs but as days went on his moodiness and sadness brought me even more down so i told him to do what makes him happy and hes back to doing drugs occasionally. We luve together with two friends of mine in a house that hardly sleeps.im so sad and so lonely all the time. i dont feel like this is real. i dont feel any connection with my baby. i want to be a good mom and i will be but this pregnancy is awful. i dont have family support and no one to talk to. i need help. i plan to talk to my dr about my depression bext tuesday but 5 more days of this horrible feelung is way too long. any advice? Ive been exercising more and eating healthy... anything else would be helpful

Replies

  • Ludvik_Smith
    November 29, 2012 at 5:20 PM

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down and lost. Pregnancy is tough even if it is planned, even if the couple having a child is married, even if you think you've got life figured out. Pregnancy and baby changes everything. Life is no longer about you. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, being selfless is a great thing. You have so much to share with your baby--so much knowledge, so much love. And you'll both learn together, too.

    Being pregnant is tough even in a good relationship--there are horomones, of course, and then there is the fear of the unknown. Pregnancy affects both the mom and dad, remember that. You cannot completely change the father of your baby, but you can at least try to have a heart to heart with him. Communication is very important in any relationship and even moreso when you're going through a pregnancy together.  That's really all you can do, try to talk to him, help him (not force him) but help him to understand.

    If it turns out that he's not what you want in a boyfriend and father for your child than you have every right to leave and do it on your own--and you CAN do it!

    Exercising and eating right are very good, but you have to really try to think positive, too. I know it's not easy. I've dealt with depression my whole life and the only thing that has really pulled me out of it is myself telling myself that this is enough! Enough laying in bed crying. Enough thinking negative thoughts. It's not easy, but nothing worth doing ever is, is it?

    You're laying in bed crying, force yourself to get up, go for a walk, cook something, read, write, draw, take a bath, anything. Stop yourself from sinking further into the bad place.

    You're not alone in how you feel.

  • funhappymom
    November 30, 2012 at 8:49 AM

    (((HUGS)))

    Not having support can make any pregnancy-planned or unplanned very hard.



  • JennyLee24
    November 30, 2012 at 8:54 AM
    This exactly..praying for u ((hugs))


    Quoting Ludvik_Smith:

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down and lost. Pregnancy is tough even if it is planned, even if the couple having a child is married, even if you think you've got life figured out. Pregnancy and baby changes everything. Life is no longer about you. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, being selfless is a great thing. You have so much to share with your baby--so much knowledge, so much love. And you'll both learn together, too.


    Being pregnant is tough even in a good relationship--there are horomones, of course, and then there is the fear of the unknown. Pregnancy affects both the mom and dad, remember that. You cannot completely change the father of your baby, but you can at least try to have a heart to heart with him. Communication is very important in any relationship and even moreso when you're going through a pregnancy together.  That's really all you can do, try to talk to him, help him (not force him) but help him to understand.


    If it turns out that he's not what you want in a boyfriend and father for your child than you have every right to leave and do it on your own--and you CAN do it!


    Exercising and eating right are very good, but you have to really try to think positive, too. I know it's not easy. I've dealt with depression my whole life and the only thing that has really pulled me out of it is myself telling myself that this is enough! Enough laying in bed crying. Enough thinking negative thoughts. It's not easy, but nothing worth doing ever is, is it?


    You're laying in bed crying, force yourself to get up, go for a walk, cook something, read, write, draw, take a bath, anything. Stop yourself from sinking further into the bad place.


    You're not alone in how you feel.


  • chamelinmom
    November 30, 2012 at 9:21 AM

    i agree with above, also check with your dr, they may be able to give you zoloft which is safe in small doses and can help you. talk with your family, you can probually get better support there

  • mama2gg
    by mama2gg
    November 30, 2012 at 9:22 AM
    I'm so very sorry
    First get away from the life sucking bf you have if he loved you or that baby he would have already gotten a JOB and started acting like a MAN

    Second seek therapy if you can to learn to deal with depression issues you are having you Have to find a support system depression is common in a ton of women whem pregnant.

    Make sure you are looking out for YOU right now there is nothing else you need to worry about for 30 more weeks

    Get back to school NOW credits carry over to when you go back get done what you can now you still have months till baby is here

    If you need someone to vent to or talk to I'm here :) I did my ds alone for a few years and loved it! I was so happy to be rid of this pos bf I had that didn't work , smoked pot, and played games all day

    Nowwww I am married expecting a little girl own a house and a business all because I found a man and partner not a life sucker

    What you have. That's not love that's settling
  • sparklebug86
    November 30, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    im sorry hunny :( maybe you need to make a lifestyle change? That doesnt sound like a great environment to raise a baby in and your SO doesnt sound to eager about the baby. If you could, move out and do something positive for you and your baby. I couldnt imagine living in a house like that and feeling all alone :(  HUGS

  • kmqw229
    by kmqw229
    November 30, 2012 at 11:51 AM
    I would start by seeing a dr today and going from there.

    I hope things get better for you. Hang in there.
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