So what's your take on it? I'm thinking of writing one just in case for whatever reason my midwife isn't there while I'm in labor. Have you ever written one? Would it just be a waste of time for me to write one and print out a few copies?
- Only group members can vote in this poll.
- 30% - No there's just no point in doing so.
- 45% - Yes. I did it and it made the whole experience much easier.
- 24% - No idea, I never thought of writing one.
I never said that what the mother wants should be disregarded. Most nurses do try to accommodate what the mother wants. It is not our job to "cater" to anyone. That's why the women hire a doula like yourself. In most cases the nurse has more than one pt.. It is not his/her job to follow a bp. Their job is to care for and monitor the mother during labor and delivery. We are not hand maidens waiting to cater to our pts. If the mom has special requests and they are within reason and can be accommodated then yes sure why not. If getting out of bed and bouncing on a ball is what the mother wants and her blood pressure is 170/100, guess what, that request will not be accommodated.
I'm really tired of doulas like yourself that give people the impression that the nurses are out to sabotage your birth. Majority of the nurses that I know and have worked with (and I have worked in several facilities all over the country) have their pt's best interest at heart. We are the pt's advocate. We are there to care for the pt's and keep them safe. Birthing plans are not something we have a whole lot of time to read. We generally like to communicate w/our pt's 1:1 and find out what they want, instead of having a 5 page bp thrown at us when you walk through the door.
My plan was simple...I wanted a healthy baby and a healthy mama. That's it. At the end of the day that is really all that matters. So much emphasis is put on the "birthing experience" and so many moms get wrapped up and carried away and loose sight of what is really important.
Please know that as a nurse I can tell you that we don't read your plan. Most will skim it and keep your requests in mind but at the end of the day you and your babys' safety is really what we care about. I know many of the mom's on here will disagree but I'm giving you the other side. Feel free to write one, keeping it short, sweet and basic. Verbalize what you want to your nurse and above all remain flexible. Nothing in life ever goes as planned. Why would this be any different? Again, please remember what is important...healthy mom, healthy baby.
Birthing experience *is* very important and there is no reason to disregard a mom's preferences. It's not always convenient for staff, but that is their job and accommodating their clients is what they are paid to do. :-)
by nigoletaNovember 18, 2012 at 11:29 AM
I didn't write one myself, but I had many discussions with my OB throughout my prenatal care about what I did and did not want for my birth. IMO, birth plans are all well and good but I think it's infinitely better to choose a provider who is on the same page as you. You could have a 500 page birth plan, but if your doc is not on board (or only pays lip service to being on board) then you have nothing. Choice of provider is paramount in getting the birth you want. Obviously, there is absolutely no harm in researching and figuring out what you do and do not want, but a piece of paper isn't going to get that for you.
I wish you the best for your birth. FWIW, I had uneventful vaginal births of 2 ten-pound babies. I've had so many people say "I can't belive your doc *let* you birth those babies vaginally." My general response is "I made the decisions regarding my birth. I didn't have a c/s either time because I obviously didn't need one." That usually ends the conversation!
Beyond that, some women get so entrenched in following a birth plan that when things happen that aren't according to plan, it haunts them for months, or even years, after the birth. Even the best, most empathetic, natural-birth minded OB or midwife will have situations where a c/s or other emergency intervention is necessary. For me, I just went in with an idea of what I wanted but also with the wherewithall to roll with the the punches if something happened.
by jessymokaNovember 18, 2012 at 1:55 PMI made one with my third child. I did not do it with my first two.
When I arrived at the hospital in labor I heard them comment, "this is the one with the birth plan." I think they were amused by it.
But you know what, post delivery I was able to mark off every single thing on my birth plan.
Mine wasn't unreasonable. Mine included things like, ex. I wanted no tv on and the light dim, I wanted minimal talking in my room, I didn't want anyone counting or telling me to push, I didn't want my son to have the glucose water, I wanted to breastfeed immediately after delivery.
In fact my experience was so great, I worry that this labor won't be as great.
I don't think they're bad to have because it means you've spent some time learning about how you would *like* labor to go. Babies have their own minds and many websites and women will tell you things that are against hospital protocol or even dangerous in some situations so I don't think anyone should write one in blood. Having a flexible plan is key.
November 18, 2012 at 2:50 PM
I had a birth plan in my head. I knew what I wanted and what I didn't want. I wanted to have an all natural birth with NO drugs. I did not want to have a c section unless it was absolutely neccessary. It ended up being very necessary because DD stopped breathing in my stomach and she had to come out. She was four days overdue and in the NICU for three weeks. She came home two days before Thanksgiving 2010. I do not want to alarm you and please don't think something like this will happen to you, however, NOT everything goes as planned. I do think it's a good idea to write one so you can give it to your nurses and doctors so they know what you would like and not like.
I hope you have a wonderful birthing experience and congrats on your little one!