A little bit of basic information... I am due to have baby number 5 in december and the pregnancy was a complete suprise and unplanned... I am 42 so am immediatly classed as 'high risk' anyway because of my age alone...
I had a hospital appointment on Tuesday, and the Midwife left me feeling guilty, upset, scared and very angry... I have a 1 in 11 chance of having a child with Down syndrome because the blood test came back positive.. The ultrasound was excellent and the fluid behind the neck was the right amount, so there is no definant diagnoses at the moment...
I was treated as if there has been a diagnosis and was told by the Midwife, to have an amniosentisies, and to terminate... She didnt even say 'if the amnio results come back for DS to terminate'...That i have 4 healthy children already and that given that i am 42, what happens when i am no longer here... She never asked me what i had planned to do, or what my thoughts were, she told me what i should do... Nor did she ask me what my hubby wanted me to do, or his thoughts either...
Hubby and i have decided that we are not going to have a amnio because of the risks, and that we will love our baby regardless... That we are leaving this in Gods hands and will work together and face whatever comes our way...
Medical professionals need to be more aware of how they approach telling a mother they are 'high risk' and give some hope, rather than making a desicion for them based on a blood test result, even before there is an exact diagnosis...
June 14, 2012 at 10:22 AMI would find someone else asap. I had a genetic counselor talk to me about termination, even though I said over and over that we would not terminate.
June 14, 2012 at 10:22 AM
I would be terribly mad and trying to find a new mid wife. I never had a amin done with either of my children.
June 14, 2012 at 10:25 AM
I would get a new midwife,and she needs to watch how she tell people bad news,especilaly news that really aint confirmed yet.
by Mrs.SalzJune 14, 2012 at 10:26 AM
What an inappropriate reaction. I hope you are able to switch to someone else.
by kerryketJune 14, 2012 at 10:27 AM
Dump the midwife, you don't need the attitude.
by rosemagic01June 14, 2012 at 10:28 AM
I would change doctors.
by new2this09June 14, 2012 at 10:28 AM
It sounds like your DH and you are making the decision that's right for you. Some people just aren't very sensitive (I'm one of those people) and as such should probably not be in that career field :)
June 14, 2012 at 10:29 AM
So there is a 1 out of 11 chance that they baby CAN have DS... So you're supposed to just abort? What about the 10 out of 11 chance that the baby does NOT! And so what if they baby does, it's still your baby and babies CAN live a happy life with downs! I wouldn't abort. I wouldn't listen to that "mid-wife" either. I'd be finding a new one. Regardless of whether or not that baby has ds it's still a human being and so are you! I wouldn't just let that slide. I'd be moving on.
by MomforhealthJune 14, 2012 at 10:30 AM
Sort of defeats the purpose of a midwife ay? I am happy you are putting this in Gods hands. :) Keep your faith.
by grouchymamaJune 14, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Honestly that is horrible. I was 38, 39 and 41 when my kids were born. My OB never once said the words high risk or advanced maternal age to me. I always felt like a normal pregnant mom. She didn't even bat an eye when we were considering a 4th at one point. I also had a blood test indicate my risks for downs was high with my first. The ultrasound looked fine but another doctor (not my ob) strongly suggested the amnio. We refused because there was no way we would terminate. DS was born healthy. Go with your gut and if possible find a new midwife.