Pregnancy
A little bit of basic information... I am due to have baby number 5 in december and the pregnancy was a complete suprise and unplanned... I am 42 so am immediatly classed as 'high risk' anyway because of my age alone...
I had a hospital appointment on Tuesday, and the Midwife left me feeling guilty, upset, scared and very angry... I have a 1 in 11 chance of having a child with Down syndrome because the blood test came back positive.. The ultrasound was excellent and the fluid behind the neck was the right amount, so there is no definant diagnoses at the moment...
I was treated as if there has been a diagnosis and was told by the Midwife, to have an amniosentisies, and to terminate... She didnt even say 'if the amnio results come back for DS to terminate'...That i have 4 healthy children already and that given that i am 42, what happens when i am no longer here... She never asked me what i had planned to do, or what my thoughts were, she told me what i should do... Nor did she ask me what my hubby wanted me to do, or his thoughts either...
Hubby and i have decided that we are not going to have a amnio because of the risks, and that we will love our baby regardless... That we are leaving this in Gods hands and will work together and face whatever comes our way...
Medical professionals need to be more aware of how they approach telling a mother they are 'high risk' and give some hope, rather than making a desicion for them based on a blood test result, even before there is an exact diagnosis...
Replies
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I would go to someone new! I can't believe they told you that. I'm glad you aren't going to do that.
Go doesn't give you more than you can handle... Remember that! -
Switch to another midwife or sternly say that you are NOT aborting your child, regardless of an issue and to stop making you feel like amniocentisis is a must when it is NOT.
There are many false positives and right now she needs to be supportive of a good outcome regardless of down syndrome. I hate when people say to abort the child. I would NOT abort because of down syndrome and it isn't even a known fact that the child has it!
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I'd be talking to a Dr about their nurse. If they refuse to do anything, I'd be switching Drs in one hell of a hurry.
Telling you to terminate was way out of line, as was treating you the way she was. Not ok.
ETA- I misread. I'm tired. Sorry. Since it was the Midwife, I would just flat out switch to someone new. -
i hope you switch! -
This. She's imposing her own beliefs onto you and that's just wrong. She's not giving you info and letting you make the decision, she's telling you what you need to do. She's in the wrong profession. Iwouldn't feel comfortable with her either, I'd switch.
Quoting kcangel63:
Are there any other midwives you could switch to? I love midwives, but I would not return if any midwife/Dr talked to me like that. :(
((HUGS))
You do what you both feel is right! -
I would get a new midwife F that. If anyone dared tell me to abort I because of that or any other reason I may punch them. Not to be totally vulgar but how in the hell can she say that about a diagnosis that isn't even life threatening????
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Man reading this pisses me off!!! My friend was pregnant with her 3rd baby and the blood tests came back positive and the ultrasound looked positive but she left it in Gods hands even though the doctors (military) were pretty sure she was going to have a DS baby. Oh and she had protein in her urine a lot but her baby boy came out perfect. Can you imagine if she would have been the type to term. she would have taken the life of her perfect son. Go with your heart!
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You should not feel guilty this child is a gift.
I would get rid of the midwife. Those test aren't full proof.
Have a good day and do what you feel in your heart. -
I've never had a doctor treat me that way, especially regarding life. That's obviously a very touchy subject. I don't think it's a medical professional problem; I think it's a personal problem. She was clearly overstepping boundaries.
I'm sorry she was so frank with you in a completely unnecessary way. Just because she's a trained midwife doesn't mean she has the right to decide who should have their children and under what conditions. What is freedom if there is no variability from the norm? Ridiculous.
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How horrible! Im sorry! I suggest a new midwife.
I have always thought like you, id love my baby no matter what she came with, i never let them put me through the stupid tests, if she has it she has it no point in testing in my opinion.