(Yes, I know it is a bit long, I'm sorry. If you will, please read though.)
I asked yesterday about how to make a birth plan (i'm only 12 weeks but I want to know that anyone of my doctors are listening...they haven't been so far)
My sister (the one mentioned in the plan) said that it is worthless to make one and that mine is stupid and uncalled for. I was wondering if this is true? are my "demands" unreasonable or outlandish?
yes, she did hurt my feelings a bit by saying this. I still need to have the items listed approved or modified by both my doctor and the hospital but the is the rough draft. please, any input at all is great! yes, this is our first.
Labor partners: Ryan (husband) & Andrea (sister)
*if for any reason my husband cannot perform his responsibilities during or after the birth, my sister will stand in.
Labor and delivery:
1) upon arrival i do not want Pitocin to be administered. If my water has not yet broken on its own, i would like for it to happen naturally.
2) i would like to remain in my own clothing as long as possible before having to wear the hospital gown.
3) i do not want to be induced. Things may change later own but for now this is not an option for me.
4) i do not want pain meds offered to me. If needed, i will ask for options but i do not want to feel forced into it. An epidural is the last resort.
5) i do not want a c-section. I will labor for as long as i can naturally and a c-section will only be discussed if medically necessary and i must consent to it as well as my husband. (If a c-section is preformed, my wish is to keep as many of the after birth instructions as possible.)
6) i do not want an IV unless necessary. I am ok with a heplock.
7) during labor i would like to be able to eat or drink as i wish.
8) during labor i refuse to be "tied down". I want to be able to move and walk as i wish, this includes a shower or warm water bath.
9) during labor only close family is allowed in my room. During active labor only my husband and sister are allowed.
10) i would like to be able to utilize different birth positions.
11) i do not wish to use a belt monitor or internal monitor. I do not mind periodic Doppler monitoring.
12) aside from the initial exam, no internal vaginal exams until i ask.
13) i do not wish to have an episiotomy if avoidable.
14) the vacuum will not be used on my child.
15) i would like for my husband, Ryan, to "catch" the baby if at all possible.
16) no medications at all will be given to me unless i request them of i consent to them with a full explanation.
After the birth:
1) no Pitocin will be administered immediately after to expel the placenta. If there is a problem, other options will be discussed.
2) the cord will not be cut until after the placenta has been delivered and/or it has stopped pulsing and turned white. My husband will be the one to cut the cord.
3) direct skin-to-skin contact and nursing immediately after birth. This is a must. APGAR scores can be taken during nursing. Weight and such can be taken later.
4) baby does not go anywhere without je or daddy for any reason. Baby will be in my room and will not be in the nursery unless medically necessary. Baby
will not have any shots or test without our consent beforehand.
5) if baby is a boy he may be circumcised (husband and i are still discussing this actually so this one may change before than)
6) no bottle, paci's or sugar water. Baby is exclusively breast fed
7) day one of baby's life is mommy and daddy bonding time. We will update family but we do not wish to take visitors until day two. (this may change for CLOSE family)
8) I will be the one to give baby his/her first bath. This will be after nursing and bonding have taken place.
*I know that anything can change at any time and if an emergency should arise, most of these wishes will not be possible but these are my wishes for the birth experience I have planned and I ask that you be respectful of them and me during this time. Thank you.
Some of this your DR and hospital cant follow due to rules and regualtions and liability. But ur sister should not say its stupid and worthless. Its not. unfortunately, this is only the beginning of people trying to give their 2 cents even when it is not their child, therefore not their business! My son is 13 months old and I have heard everything from how I shouldnt get the epidural because it will cause permanent back issues and bad for baby, (which was the first thing I begged for at the hospital), from diagnosing him when he is sick that its the "change of weather" and he doesnt need a Dr (turns out the time i got that advice from my SIL, he had an infection and needed Amoxicillan for 7 days!)Im not saying never take advice, but as a mom now you and ur husband should follow urs hearts and instincts. at times people will try to seem like they know it all but it is your baby so if people dont like ur decisions, thats ok, but they should respect them and not down them or try to make you feel they r stupid.
January 28, 2013 at 9:05 AM
Looks like mine. The only thing the hospital would not allow was eating. Not that I had time. I did get an epidural and it was a BIG mistake. It didnt work and ended up with a horrible epidural headache. My baby was in NICU due to cord around his neck and they litterally pulled him out of me blue. We had no idea there was a problem until they hooked me up to monitor his heart. Make a plan, discuss with your doctor (mine was great), but in an emergency let them do what they have to do for you and the baby. I am fortunate to work at a "Baby Friendly" hospital. It is a lot of work for them to get this status and there are not too many out there. Look around if you can for that type of hospital. They are Great! Goodluck.
Ill be honest and i think that you would be better off with a home birth or a birthing centre birth with a midwife. All the things you want are normal here but from what i read about birth in the US you will have issues getting what you want in a hostpital setting.
I think you'll have more trouble with the nurses than the doctors. I practically had to physically fight my nurse over the IV issue (she grabbed my hand and started wiping my wrist down with alcohol at one point) but then the midwife on duty came in and told her to knock it off. Nurse BitchyPants then announced "well when there's an emergency I won't be putting one in" and stormed out. Delightful woman, she complained the whole time and even complained that I had too much blood and goop on me when she was cleaning up after my stitches. Seriously? Haven't you been in a birthing room before? My midwife tried to get a new nurse but every woman in the area decided to give birth that day too.
I feel like maybe a hospital isn't the right choice for you. If this is what you want why don't you get a midwife instead of a doctor? It's good you have an idea of how you would like things to go but be open to the fact that sometimes things don't always go as planned. Your sister should be more supportive.