(Yes, I know it is a bit long, I'm sorry. If you will, please read though.)
I asked yesterday about how to make a birth plan (i'm only 12 weeks but I want to know that anyone of my doctors are listening...they haven't been so far)
My sister (the one mentioned in the plan) said that it is worthless to make one and that mine is stupid and uncalled for. I was wondering if this is true? are my "demands" unreasonable or outlandish?
yes, she did hurt my feelings a bit by saying this. I still need to have the items listed approved or modified by both my doctor and the hospital but the is the rough draft. please, any input at all is great! yes, this is our first.
Labor partners: Ryan (husband) & Andrea (sister)
*if for any reason my husband cannot perform his responsibilities during or after the birth, my sister will stand in.
Labor and delivery:
1) upon arrival i do not want Pitocin to be administered. If my water has not yet broken on its own, i would like for it to happen naturally.
2) i would like to remain in my own clothing as long as possible before having to wear the hospital gown.
3) i do not want to be induced. Things may change later own but for now this is not an option for me.
4) i do not want pain meds offered to me. If needed, i will ask for options but i do not want to feel forced into it. An epidural is the last resort.
5) i do not want a c-section. I will labor for as long as i can naturally and a c-section will only be discussed if medically necessary and i must consent to it as well as my husband. (If a c-section is preformed, my wish is to keep as many of the after birth instructions as possible.)
6) i do not want an IV unless necessary. I am ok with a heplock.
7) during labor i would like to be able to eat or drink as i wish.
8) during labor i refuse to be "tied down". I want to be able to move and walk as i wish, this includes a shower or warm water bath.
9) during labor only close family is allowed in my room. During active labor only my husband and sister are allowed.
10) i would like to be able to utilize different birth positions.
11) i do not wish to use a belt monitor or internal monitor. I do not mind periodic Doppler monitoring.
12) aside from the initial exam, no internal vaginal exams until i ask.
13) i do not wish to have an episiotomy if avoidable.
14) the vacuum will not be used on my child.
15) i would like for my husband, Ryan, to "catch" the baby if at all possible.
16) no medications at all will be given to me unless i request them of i consent to them with a full explanation.
After the birth:
1) no Pitocin will be administered immediately after to expel the placenta. If there is a problem, other options will be discussed.
2) the cord will not be cut until after the placenta has been delivered and/or it has stopped pulsing and turned white. My husband will be the one to cut the cord.
3) direct skin-to-skin contact and nursing immediately after birth. This is a must. APGAR scores can be taken during nursing. Weight and such can be taken later.
4) baby does not go anywhere without je or daddy for any reason. Baby will be in my room and will not be in the nursery unless medically necessary. Baby
will not have any shots or test without our consent beforehand.
5) if baby is a boy he may be circumcised (husband and i are still discussing this actually so this one may change before than)
6) no bottle, paci's or sugar water. Baby is exclusively breast fed
7) day one of baby's life is mommy and daddy bonding time. We will update family but we do not wish to take visitors until day two. (this may change for CLOSE family)
8) I will be the one to give baby his/her first bath. This will be after nursing and bonding have taken place.
*I know that anything can change at any time and if an emergency should arise, most of these wishes will not be possible but these are my wishes for the birth experience I have planned and I ask that you be respectful of them and me during this time. Thank you.
You should be proud of yourself for developing a birth plan. Your sister is being somewhat hateful for being so abrasive in her disagreement with your plan. Like others have said I would reconsider having her in the room if she is the same sister. She is supposed to be someone who will vouch for you. How can she do this if she belives in her heart that your requests are stupid?
I say work with the hospital before labor to find out what their policies are. Ask to meet with the head L&D nurse. Even though you may be able to find their policies on the internet or in a pamphlet, going through these steps of being visible and vocal to them will help them to see you are a force to be reckoned with and no pushover.
I would recommend looking at the below birth plan from baby center. It mentions a lot of the requests you made only in a checkbox, easier to read format. Good luck!
by aussiechicJuly 4, 2012 at 4:59 PM
I was stuck in L&D for 3 days when my cervix went incompetent then i went into preterm labor at 20 weeks. i lost my son becuase of it, but i felt so much compassion from every nurse. Especially the one who was there when my son was stillborn. she just hugged and hugged me. we both cried.
:) the l&d nurses when I gave birth to DS were amazing you could clearly tell they cared.
As a l&d nurse i would say all that sounds fine... cant delay APGARS as they are dobe at one and five minutes to assess babys well-being/transitiin. Hep locks are really better to have BEFORE an emergency.. so many times a decel in babys heart rate can be helped with fluids.. anyway, i know i try to give moms the birth they want. Its so rare for me to see a mom who really cares like this. :-) be flexible .. remember that these nurses and docs are held liable if anything happens to baby.. therefore we want to know how baby is doing.. did u know we can be prosecuted for a birth issue for TWENTY ONE years? Also L&D is the most litigious area if the hospital .. we arent monsters, nurses like me hate interventions that cause problems just like all of you.. we just are overly cautious and worried about problems. Its a huge responsibility to be a L&D nurse...
I birthed in a very intervention-happy hospital and my birth plan was very similar. I got everything I wanted, in large part because I had made my birth plan! I have no idea if anyone there read it, but it made me really think about the experience I wanted, made me do a lot of research that led to me being very well educated on the subject and gave me a concise tool to express those wishes with my dh and doula. Having them well versed on what I wanted and expected was key, since I needed to focus on the task at hand, not trying to figure it out as we go. Kwim?
And as far as those pps saying there is a lot in there that hospitals CAN'T do... That's nonsense. You've written a very reasonable plan. :) Tell your sis to F off!
I was pretty nauseous during my birthing day and when that was over, labor was too advanced to eat, so I couldn't use the nuts, etc. I'd packed. What I loved was packets of Gu - it's this stuff that runners use during marathons, etc or hikers on long treks. It's basically rapidly available carbs and glucose. Sports or outdoors stores will have it. Just make sure you don't get any with stimulants like caffeine or guarana or anything. :)
Trail mix, granola bars, yogurt. That sort of thing. I drank water and Gatorade. Anything that will keep your energy up and you well hydrated.
Just curious :)
What did you eat during labor? Did you eat heavy or light? Fruits, veggies, soup? I'd like to drink and eat during mine but don't know what would be good to take to the hospital.
What philosophy? Comfort for mom and safety for baby is now a philosophy?
It is up to the mom to decide her type of birth and it is her right to do so. I have had this very birth and it was wonderful! I wore my own clothes, ate and drank when I wanted and what I wanted and was encouraged to do so, three births and I have never even had an IV. So maybe your 'reality' needs to change.
It doesn't really matter anyway as OP has the law on her side. She can do as she pleases.
Ugh you are pushing YOUR philosophy which is neither law or reality
Yes, it does. There is nothing ANYONE can say if a patient needs to birth naked or in her own clothes (Are they going to rip them off of her? What kind of God complex does a provider have if they can't honor this?! YIKES!). Yes, a patient has the right to eat. Yes, a patient has the right to drink. They have the right to what goes into their bodies. Yes, a patient has the right to what happens to her CHILD (be it vaxes or who bathes the baby) or where that child goes and who is with him or her. That is what is the matter with most hospitals. These things are basic human rights... Who are they to infringe on that? I am strongly alarmed you are saying that these rights are not allowed.
Informed consent does not mean that you can dictate things such as giving the baby a bath yourself or being able to eat, drink, stay in your own clothes, etc. It is simply in regards to medical procedures and medications.
Believe me I know the patient's bill of rights.
Actually, you have it reversed. A patient's right to informed consent trumps hospital policy- EVERY time! A hospital can only legally do what a patient consents to (unless patient is unconscious and it is an emergency situation).
Sadly many hospitals do not follow birth plans as part of their policy and procedure. It is still good to know what you want and have your doctor know, but ultimately, policy and procedure and doctor's orders both trump your wishes.