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UHHHH SO FRUSTRAITING!!! Feeling unloved!! Sex post TMI!!
by NoraDun
November 20, 2009 at 11:32 AM

Ok so let me start of by saying that my Hubby and I have been together for 9 yrs. For the first 2 yrs there was no sex. After we got engaged and for the 2 years before we got married there was ALOT of sex. AS SOON as wee got married the sex pratically stopped. I mean we would have sex maybe once a week and that was if I pushed him for it. So when I fond out I was preggo with baby #1 I felt so unloved and I would actually cry every night in bed b/c he wouldn't touch me or show me any attention. I know this feeling was intensified by my hormones but I felt so unloved. Well after having baby #1 his attitude changed and for about 6 months he was stuck to me like glue. He was romantic and we were always having sex. By the time my son turned 6 months that stopped. Well the we decided to start trying for baby #2 and I was put on fertility drugs. Well he hated having to have sex and it was more of a frustration for me then anything. I could get him to have sex maybe 2x a week and then he would start complaining or just fall straight to sleep. Well I ended up surprisingly getting pregnant after I went of the fertility drugs and stopped trying to get preggo. He was awesome during #2 pregnancy. I think my sex drive dropped some and his picked up a little and we were having sex about 2x a week but it was during the day and it was "Wam Bam thank you Mam" kind of stuff. I hated that but delt. So after I had my 2nd sone he went back to being pretty sweet for about 6 months. He always wanted to have sex during the day though and he normally wanted it from the back. I guess that made me feel like he didn't want to look at me. Anyway what little bit of sex we had I wasn't much enjoying. So when we found out I was preggo with baby #3 it was a complete shock since we only had sex 2x in about 3 wks. So now here we are back at square one. Its been 2 wks since we have had sex. I feel unloved and miserable. I asked him to take a shower last night and I did the same and I planned on having some fun under the sheets well he went straight to sleep. That broke my heart. He new what I was planning. I mean it makes me feel unattractive and unloved. I don't like being the only one to initiate sex. And that is normally how it is. What should I do? I mean I even did my hair and put make-up on last night. I have men hit on me all the time....I mean I am a BIG girl but I am not butt ungly! I just don't understand why my own hubby doesn't want me!! Please help...Sorry its so long!


  • mommy2girls0305
    November 20, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    aw hun i know what you mean about being a big girl but   have you told  him how you feel?   I hope you feel better  soon and I am sure he loves ya maybe the pregnancy stuff  makes him different?

  • jkmeier8909
    November 20, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    i'm pretty much in the same boat as you. why do guys have to be so stupid sometimes!!!!!!!!!

  • kylismomma
    November 20, 2009 at 11:58 AM

    Have you talked to him about everything? That might help a little. But i have no real advice..this is my second pregnancy and hubby and I still have sex nearly everyday! We both just have very high sex drives. I seriously freak out if we go like 3 days without sex, because that RARELY happens. Its going to be a big shock to us after he gets his vasectomy and we HAVE to wait. =(

  • funlovinmama82
    November 20, 2009 at 2:09 PM

    I am somewhat in the same boat.  Before I got pregnant, we had sex pretty much daily.  Now my sex drive was crap during the first trimester because I was so sick all the time.  My husband always seems to want sex when I don't.  I am a total at night, before bed kind of girl.  I like to take a shower, and be clean and smell good all that jazz.  So most nights I shower, get into bed naked and wait....and wait....  I think to myself if he really wanted me wouldn't he just jump on the fact that I am naked in bed with him?  NOOOO.  I have to basically make him do it, then it isn't the same.  I explained to him the other night after I cried for an hour how that makes me feel.  I feel unwanted, like he tells me I'm pretty, and hot all the time but I feel like his words are empty.  Anyway, we talked for a long time, and I am hoping things get better soon, because I am going nuts!!  I would say just let it all out and tell him how you feel.  I wouldn't mention having other guys hit on you, if he is anything like my husband that will just piss him off.  But communication is the key.  Be honest.  I know it is hard, and it sucks to admit how you really feel, and how silly it sounds, but sometimes guys just need you to lay it out for them, then they get it.  It is worth a shot at least.


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