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BraydensMama163
Was I unreasonable or was she? *part 2*
February 5, 2009 at 12:44 PM

My mom dated a guy for about 3 1/2 years and after all of us (her family) trying to get her to end it for 3 1/2 years, she does. The guy was seeing another woman the entire time and my mom now hates him. Well My son is nearly 3 years old..so this man much to my dislike has been around for my babys entire life thus far and despite my telling her not to my mother brought him around my son and even told my son that he was papaw. I hated this and even threatned to keep my son away from her if she didn't stop bringing the man around my son. She never listened and i wasn't really going to seperate my son and his mamaw, so my son grew into this thinking this man was papaw....well they've been split up for months now and he sent me a message last night asking if he could see my son. I told him that would be fine, that my son was asking for him any way. Well when I tell my mom about this she blows up and tells me to not allow it because her ex is only trying to get to her. Well when I explained I wasn't going to keep my son from his papaw, and that it was her fault he thought her ex was his papaw she started crying and told me she never wanted to see me again that i hurt her to often for her to stay in my life and to involve her ex all I wanted she didn't care. She never wanted to see any of us again.....what am I suppose to do?

Replies

  • NewMommy2807
    February 5, 2009 at 12:49 PM

    In my opinion you are doing the right thing. I'm hoping your mom is just really upset right now and she will let it go that is messed up of her to push her family away all because of her ex I hope she will learn to understand and talk to you guys again HUGS

  • KittyD
    by KittyD
    February 5, 2009 at 12:50 PM


    Quoting NewMommy2807:

    In my opinion you are doing the right thing. I'm hoping your mom is just really upset right now and she will let it go that is messed up of her to push her family away all because of her ex I hope she will learn to understand and talk to you guys again HUGS

    agree

  • Step2Powers
    February 5, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    I don't think you were unreasonable at all.  You were doing what you think best for your son.  Your mother needs to love her grandson enough to think about him and put him first.  He is only 3 and does not understand why he can't see his Papaw.  Your mother should have listened to your wishes BEFORE she started bringing this man into your son's life and causing a bond between them.  If she refuses to have anything to do with your family then it is her loss and in the end she will have missed out because kids grow up way too fast.  Your son can have his Mamaw and Papaw both but perhaps at different times and never in the same place.  Take it from someone whose ex-husband cheated on her, your mom is lashing out, just give her time and the hurt her ex caused will eventually heal and maybe your son seeing his Papaw won't be such a big deal. 

  • BraydensMama163
    February 5, 2009 at 12:58 PM

    Well my mom seems to think that he is just trying to see my son because it will hurt her and I did text him back and tell him that his visiting would be fine but I never expected him to really come and now my mom is being a total drama queen and she's called off my shower she had planned for this saturday because of this mess.

    Quoting Step2Powers:

    I don't think you were unreasonable at all.  You were doing what you think best for your son.  Your mother needs to love her grandson enough to think about him and put him first.  He is only 3 and does not understand why he can't see his Papaw.  Your mother should have listened to your wishes BEFORE she started bringing this man into your son's life and causing a bond between them.  If she refuses to have anything to do with your family then it is her loss and in the end she will have missed out because kids grow up way too fast.  Your son can have his Mamaw and Papaw both but perhaps at different times and never in the same place.  Take it from someone whose ex-husband cheated on her, your mom is lashing out, just give her time and the hurt her ex caused will eventually heal and maybe your son seeing his Papaw won't be such a big deal. 


  • mommyof2EO
    February 5, 2009 at 1:02 PM

    This is a question I've asked myself about my step Dad/my husband has asked me. Difference between you and me is my step Dad has been around since I was 5 and he is my son's "pepaw" has he calls him. My son has a great relationship with my Dad as well. I think you are doing the right thing. I would let my step Dad see my son despite what happend with my Mom and him if something happend. My son adores my step Dad and my step Dad adores him.


    I hope she gets over it and is just acting out of anger.

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