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mommadebs
He's not paying court ordred support - How to survive?
September 1, 2013 at 1:59 PM

I am taking all the actionI can to enforce the court ordered support...but in the mean time how do I survive?

My mom has been helping me with child care. I worked 7 days a week/55 hours a week for 9 months. I am down to the same hours but only 6 days a week now. My mother was recently diagnosed with cancer and will be undergoing chemotherapy. She is terminal. She will no longer be able to care for my son in about 2 weeks.

We went back to court recently as I lost all government support because I am just over the income threshold. He is not paying and I cannot afford to send my son to daycare much less rent when my mother dies. I am so scared! I don't know how to manage all of this!!

 

Has anyone dealt with similar support issues and struggling to survive? Any advice is welcome!!

Replies

  • countrygirlkat
    September 1, 2013 at 2:26 PM

    I would revisit the public assistance.  While you might not qualify for food stamps you might qualify for WIC instead or child care assistance.  I would also really look at your budgeting to see if there are things you can cut out such as cable tv, home internet, etc.  Meal planning, coupon cutting and sale shopping can help save money on groceries. 

  • frndlyfn
    September 1, 2013 at 2:42 PM

    Have you looked into head start for childcare?

  • mamamom431
    September 1, 2013 at 3:15 PM

    Keep fighting for it but, never depend on it. Look into day care options. States pay child care you just pay a co-pay for it. odd hours you need to find a sencond sitter. I have been there. My sons dad was ordered to pay 36 dollars a week 18 years ago. He now is suppossed to pay 275 a week because all the intrest. we are now up to 60k.I will never see it. You are a mom you will find out what you gotta do. Find moms around you and seee what the programs are that have helped them

  • Reina13
    by Reina13
    September 2, 2013 at 8:28 AM

     This is really good advice.

    Make sure you continue to pursue his non payment. Have you gotten the Attorney General of Child Support Enforcement Office involved yet?

    Quoting countrygirlkat:

    I would revisit the public assistance.  While you might not qualify for food stamps you might qualify for WIC instead or child care assistance.  I would also really look at your budgeting to see if there are things you can cut out such as cable tv, home internet, etc.  Meal planning, coupon cutting and sale shopping can help save money on groceries. 

     

  • mistressflora
    September 2, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    I havnt recieved child support since ds was born, then they went and closed my case a few months back, I have survived 9 years and some of those years were without a job. So its possible.

  • AngelSinger
    September 2, 2013 at 8:32 AM

    I am so sorry about your mother. I lost mine to cancer in 1998. I know what you are going through.

    As for the child support, why are his wages not being garnished? It shouldn't be a choice, since he's proven what he'll do if given one.

    Good luck.

  • mommadebs
    September 2, 2013 at 3:33 PM

    I make too much to qualify for WIC and CCAP!! I am doing my best to cut where I can but it's just not enough!

  • mommadebs
    September 2, 2013 at 3:41 PM

    Thank you so much ladies!!! I appreciate the ideas and encouragement!! I WILL find a way am just stressed beyond belief right now.

    Thank you for the ideas about Head Start. I will look into it. I am also trying to network with some of the other single moms I know locally to see if we can help each other.

    I just recently got an increase in child support and requested it go through DFS. It will take a couple months for it to begin coming out of his checks, but I also wouldn't put it past him to find a new job and not report it. We make the same amount of money and he is crying that he can't afford it. I tried to explain that I can't either when he doesn't pay and I have to pay for all of it. It is a horrible situation as he has a new girl he is engaged to and supporting her and her son that is not his. I just sickens me!

  • HIJKLM
    by HIJKLM
    September 2, 2013 at 3:44 PM
    Apply for state aid. They will go after him for support, in the mean time you will get the help you need.
  • AM-BRAT
    by AM-BRAT
    September 2, 2013 at 4:25 PM

    This. There are so many avenues if you dig hard enough. Gl to you mama.  :(


    Quoting countrygirlkat:

    I would revisit the public assistance.  While you might not qualify for food stamps you might qualify for WIC instead or child care assistance.  I would also really look at your budgeting to see if there are things you can cut out such as cable tv, home internet, etc.  Meal planning, coupon cutting and sale shopping can help save money on groceries. 



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