Advice for Moms

Mama_Pollito
sister in law frustation vent**
April 18, 2013 at 4:24 PM

I feel a little bit mad about this and it makes me uncomfortable! The thing is that every time a big party is coming that my husband family is invited we have to watch our nephew, ( i like that he spends time with us but it always happens that a day before the party she asks us to watch him for the night and by the next day of the party here i am trying to get ready and waiting for his clothes o waiting for them to pick him up!) and it never fails she always sends her 4 kids with someone a day before the parties ( what for i don't know) but anyways, what it makes me loose it is that my kids were sick 4 days with really bad fever and a tonsillitis and i haven't had no rest it all! and they finally seem to feel better and i have to watch our nephew for the night and the next day we are going to a wedding, and there was another time that my kids were sick for a week and she send the kid over and he had a cough and mine were just getting better and after that they caught the cough!

I would like to straight up say! " you know what, i cant watch him" but i feel really bad because then she gets all hurt and doesn't let him come over or she stops talking to us for a while and tell our nephew we don't want him and stuff like that! I really don't know what to do! does anyone goes through something like this or had to put up with that before ?

Replies

  • illogicalkat
    April 18, 2013 at 5:32 PM

    It's ok to say No.

    If you feel bad about it, tell your husband to talk to her. If they get upset with each other, it won't be as big a deal (they're siblings, they've been through it before), and you can rest easier.

  • lydi
    by lydi
    April 18, 2013 at 6:49 PM

     I would atleast tell her how you feel and see how it goes from there. It does sound very frustrating and would stink if she stopped bringing her child  around because she got mad but at some point you might have to go through that. 

  • Maddy12922
    April 23, 2013 at 2:25 AM
    I have alot of same probs with my sil. Im a stay at home mom and have always felt that shes taken advantage of me.. I had her first daughter quite a bit because she was still in school and not married. All 3 of her kids were and are being raised pretty much by my mil. Its very annoying when they always run to my mil like shes their mom. I finally had to start saying no im not watching your kids. Just say no otherwise youll just get plain wore out.. It feels good when I say no, now its very empowering.
  • Maddy12922
    April 23, 2013 at 2:28 AM
    They are guilt tripping you when they tell him you dont want him dont let that bother you that my sil always would say out loud would you like Dennis tonight like shes asking if I wanna doughnut. She only says that so ill feel bad i used to I dont anymore.
  • Maddy12922
    April 23, 2013 at 2:32 AM
    And oh well if she doesnt bring her kids around anymore their loss. Dont cave into her threats. And if theres anything to be learned from this remember this when your kids get older make them parent their children better for everyone in long run.
  • want10more
    April 23, 2013 at 2:34 AM

    you're a family member, NOT supernanny. and bringing a sick child around your kids is, well, SICK. so what if she throws a tantrum. she'll get over it quick, she'll have to, if she ever wants you to watch her kid again. yes i know you love him, and he knows that. but you're being a doormat. dude! it's not YOUR job to watch HER kid! much as you love him, be nice, but firm. "oh, so sorry, it just won't work for me". "oh dear, since he's sick, i can't let him get my kids sick too. sure hope he feels better soon." or you could just be ME and say "nope can't do. and WON'T do. maybe next time. tell him i love him muches. bye!" she knows you feel bad, which is why she does it. you may have a soft heart, but you can have a really strong boot... that you put up her behind!

  • jenk928
    by jenk928
    April 23, 2013 at 9:52 AM
    Yeah she sounds like a nut and you feed into it by continually letting her get away with it. Just say No. The world won't end. Don't let yourself feel guilty.
    You have a life and family too. The word is NO
  • jabs54
    by jabs54
    April 23, 2013 at 3:53 PM

     Have your husband tell her no.  If she wants to get mad let her.  She's just immature and using you.

  • SaffirePrincess
    April 23, 2013 at 9:57 PM


    ditto

    Quoting illogicalkat:

    It's ok to say No.

    If you feel bad about it, tell your husband to talk to her. If they get upset with each other, it won't be as big a deal (they're siblings, they've been through it before), and you can rest easier.



  • Mama_Pollito
    April 25, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    Well I let the kid stay but only for one night and she got pretty hurt! and then i found out that she also had her other 3 kids with someone else and she had to get the kid i watched back before the others and they were planning to go out, so  "I Ruined they're second date night " but i didn't put attention to her comment.

Advice for Moms