Advice for Moms

heatherann2
I'm new to this role.*update*
March 21, 2013 at 11:29 AM
My boyfriend and I live together and I have two kids and he has 3 kid. We have his every other weekend. Supposed to be Friday to Sunday but we always end up with then till Monday. I watch his the Friday night till he gets home from work. I asked if his kids could get dropped of at 8pm instead of 7 so I could get mine to sleep befits I get more kids in this house. His ex is trying to fight with me about it. I'm helping out by watching them,I don't have to. I think she should understand and stop fighting me. Its either I watch then at 8 or she had to wait till he gets home at 11pm. Any advice'....


Update- 3/22. She dropped the kids off at 5 like planned. Didn't say good bye to the kids or even thank me for changing the time. Just told me the baby should be hungry. I'm not mad that I had to feed him,I love feeding him he eats so well. I'm mad that I Changed my plans, to be home at this tine to shut get up and she couldn't even give me a thank you. Next weekend we have them she can wait until mine go to bed like I had planned on the first place since she can't be polite enough to thank me for canceling plans for her

Replies

  • MamaSnaps
    March 21, 2013 at 11:33 AM

    What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?

  • audreesmama
    March 21, 2013 at 11:36 AM
    You 'end up with them'?! They're essentially yours and you are responsible for them. You sound like you have a vendetta against them. Time to stop holding grudges for whatever and figure out to be a mom of 5 or move on to a new man with no kids.
  • heatherann2
    March 21, 2013 at 11:44 AM
    I meant it as she comes up with reasons why she can get then Back Sunday. Not in a bad way. I'm sorry. I love those kids. But my oldest has behavior problems and I think waiting till my kids go to asleep to have her drop theirs off isn't a bad request. If have 5 kids alone at bed time. Id rather wait till my kids are asleep


    Quoting audreesmama:

    You 'end up with them'?! They're essentially yours and you are responsible for them. You sound like you have a vendetta against them. Time to stop holding grudges for whatever and figure out to be a mom of 5 or move on to a new man with no kids.

  • heatherann2
    March 21, 2013 at 11:48 AM
    I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids


    Quoting MamaSnaps:

    What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?


  • audreesmama
    March 21, 2013 at 11:48 AM
    You just need a routine. What does their CO state? If it says a specific time, that's that. The judge won't change it for you for this reason.

    I would set up a routine. Get your kids ready and tucked in, then his kids come over. They go brush their teeth and get Jammies on while you read to your kids. Then you finish tucking them in, say good night. Go get his kids tucked in, read to them and say goodnight.

    I have 2 bio kids and four foster kids right now. We thrive on routine, and chaos is the enemy.


    Quoting heatherann2:

    I meant it as she comes up with reasons why she can get then Back Sunday. Not in a bad way. I'm sorry. I love those kids. But my oldest has behavior problems and I think waiting till my kids go to asleep to have her drop theirs off isn't a bad request. If have 5 kids alone at bed time. Id rather wait till my kids are asleep




    Quoting audreesmama:

    You 'end up with them'?! They're essentially yours and you are responsible for them. You sound like you have a vendetta against them. Time to stop holding grudges for whatever and figure out to be a mom of 5 or move on to a new man with no kids.


  • audreesmama
    March 21, 2013 at 11:49 AM
    What's the co arrangement?


    Quoting heatherann2:

    I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids




    Quoting MamaSnaps:

    What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?



  • heatherann2
    March 21, 2013 at 11:50 AM
    I just want to say,I love those kids,I just think out would be easier to have them dropped of at my kids bed time so mine would still go to need at their bed time, and I can get things ready for his kids.
  • heatherann2
    March 21, 2013 at 11:52 AM
    Shewants to drop them of between 6-7 so she has more tome to go out. I would like to wait till 8 when mine are asleep. The tine was 730_8 but she always has a reason why it needs to be earlier, to find it she is lying to go to a bar or something. So I figured id give her a scheduled time and be set. Of an emergency comes up and they need to come earlier so be it. But I think 8 pm is a good time


    Quoting audreesmama:

    What's the co arrangement?




    Quoting heatherann2:

    I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids






    Quoting MamaSnaps:

    What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?




  • heatherann2
    March 21, 2013 at 11:54 AM
    There is no set time in the agreement. Just every other weekend they discuss the time,


    Quoting audreesmama:

    You just need a routine. What does their CO state? If it says a specific time, that's that. The judge won't change it for you for this reason.



    I would set up a routine. Get your kids ready and tucked in, then his kids come over. They go brush their teeth and get Jammies on while you read to your kids. Then you finish tucking them in, say good night. Go get his kids tucked in, read to them and say goodnight.



    I have 2 bio kids and four foster kids right now. We thrive on routine, and chaos is the enemy.




    Quoting heatherann2:

    I meant it as she comes up with reasons why she can get then Back Sunday. Not in a bad way. I'm sorry. I love those kids. But my oldest has behavior problems and I think waiting till my kids go to asleep to have her drop theirs off isn't a bad request. If have 5 kids alone at bed time. Id rather wait till my kids are asleep






    Quoting audreesmama:

    You 'end up with them'?! They're essentially yours and you are responsible for them. You sound like you have a vendetta against them. Time to stop holding grudges for whatever and figure out to be a mom of 5 or move on to a new man with no kids.



  • heatherann2
    March 21, 2013 at 11:55 AM
    He is on my side.


    Quoting heatherann2:

    There is no set time in the agreement. Just every other weekend they discuss the time,




    Quoting audreesmama:

    You just need a routine. What does their CO state? If it says a specific time, that's that. The judge won't change it for you for this reason.





    I would set up a routine. Get your kids ready and tucked in, then his kids come over. They go brush their teeth and get Jammies on while you read to your kids. Then you finish tucking them in, say good night. Go get his kids tucked in, read to them and say goodnight.





    I have 2 bio kids and four foster kids right now. We thrive on routine, and chaos is the enemy.






    Quoting heatherann2:

    I meant it as she comes up with reasons why she can get then Back Sunday. Not in a bad way. I'm sorry. I love those kids. But my oldest has behavior problems and I think waiting till my kids go to asleep to have her drop theirs off isn't a bad request. If have 5 kids alone at bed time. Id rather wait till my kids are asleep








    Quoting audreesmama:

    You 'end up with them'?! They're essentially yours and you are responsible for them. You sound like you have a vendetta against them. Time to stop holding grudges for whatever and figure out to be a mom of 5 or move on to a new man with no kids.




Advice for Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts