by JessLin79March 20, 2013 at 4:35 PMI have talked to her teachers and doctor. Her teacher says she is a joy at school and have never had issues with her crying. Her doctor keeps telling me its a phase and she will grow out of it.I tried taking her to a counsler and was told she is just a sensitive child who is overly emotional. I even tried talking to her about it when she wasn't upset about anything and got no where. I just can't seem to figure it out!
My oldest is very sensative. I have to explain things several times for her to emotionally understand them. She's a teen now and is beginning to get used to reminding herself of things I've said and is beginning to need me to explain things several times less too. I guess I'm getting at this, that she's beginning to think about the things I've said on her own and process them several times without needing me to say them again and again; also, she does need the alone time to do that.
At age 7, she started going to school (I had been homeschooling up until then; at that time, we moved and I was able to send her to a good school). At that time, she would make noises in class and was having a hard time with one of the girls in her class. She and I would sit in the car and talk for hours after school; this took time away from my being able to do other things for my dh and other children. Eventually, I had to limit (severly) the time that I spent talking to her in the car and make sure she had the time alone that she needed to process her day and think about the things I had said about the things she had told me.
So, my advice is make sure she has plenty of time alone to think and process things; I'd let her go to her room and hang out after school, journalling might help (it helped my DD), and she'll come out when she's ready and able to face the rest of her day. That's just what I would do; that might not work for you/your family.
Lucky you.. Crying is the easy side... I have a yeller... When my little one gets overwhelmed, he yells. Id take crying. Lol.. Not trying to belittle you at all.. But crying, yelling, cursing, biting, hitting.. Are all part of the spectrum of children who are having difficulty. It does sound to me like she is having a tough time... And I am super impressed that you tried to talk to her... ( most parents dont! ) but can i respectfully suggest that you try again in a bnit different way..
First, show empathy. Show her you are on her side, on her team. She doesnt have to go it alone. Then, try to get to the root of the problem, but not in an accusatory way " i noticed this morning, you got very upset about the decision to put socks on. Whats up?" and then listen... Wait for her, read her body language... If she hasnt responded but looks like she is thinking, then wait. Listen, ask questions, dont solve problems, dont talk, listen.
Your dd may have some important stressors that are effecting her behavior at home, that she needs help with. But you cant know until you listen and let her speak.. Ask questions, try to drill deep into what is going on with her. Cause something is... Weather she is feeling like school is overwhelming, or something on the bus, or something.. But as parents we are so quick to answer and be responsive, that sometimes we dont really listen.
When you do drill and get info, ask her what she thinks the solution could be. Kids have amazing solutions that we dont give them credit for.