Advice for Moms

bluedolly01
Diagnosed with Asperger's as an adult * long * PIOG Posted by bluedolly
February 20, 2013 at 3:20 PM
I was just wondering if any of you lovely ladies has had to deal with a SO being diagnosed with Asperger's as an adult. My DH strongly suspects that he may have it but he won't go to the Dr to be officially diagnosed because "it won't change anything". He has done a number of online tests that have all showed very high probability of him having it. DH is significantly older than me and his mother was completely clueless her whole life, grew up in an institution because his mother was unable to care for her 5 kids but would not let other family members care for the children in case get became "attached" which might go some way to explaining why it wasn't picked up as a child and it wasn't until recently when we actually met an adult with Asperger's that things clicked into place. I really don't care whether or not he gets officially diagnosed but I am interested in hearing from the partners of people who have Asperger's, hearing your experiences and specifically how did/do you deal with it.

Replies

  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    February 20, 2013 at 9:08 PM

    http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Asperger_syndrome_and_adults

    This article seems to have a good description, including the effects on the spouse.

  • catrig
    by catrig
    February 20, 2013 at 9:09 PM
    No, however, my spouse was diagnosed as a teen, and informed as an adult.
  • crwspringer
    February 20, 2013 at 9:13 PM
    I'd have to say that I agree with your husband. What would it accomplish receiving a diagnosis.

    He obviously is a functioning adult who seems to have a loving and caring wife. What would going through all of that change?
  • Mrsfarr
    by Mrsfarr
    February 20, 2013 at 9:20 PM
    I have aspergers. I hid it from my husband until just a few months ago because I hated that I had it and I didn't want him to treat me differently. The only thing that's changed since telling him is now he pays attention to stories about aspergers so he can better understand what I'm going through.

    On a related but seperate note, aspergers no longer is. It's officially classified as an autism spectrum disorder now.
  • bluedolly01
    February 20, 2013 at 11:15 PM
    I agree I don't care whether or not gets officially diagnosed, I still love him just the same.


    He seems to be having a tough time of it though.


    Quoting crwspringer:

    I'd have to say that I agree with your husband. What would it accomplish receiving a diagnosis.



    He obviously is a functioning adult who seems to have a loving and caring wife. What would going through all of that change?

  • bluedolly01
    February 21, 2013 at 3:05 AM
    Thank you. I did find it very interesting. I think I have lots of research to do.

    Now that I have a reason for the way he acts sometimes I think I will be able to deal with those "acting like an ass" moments :)


    Quoting Bmat:

    http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Asperger_syndrome_and_adults

    This article seems to have a good description, including the effects on the spouse.


  • bluedolly01
    February 21, 2013 at 3:06 AM
    Do you mind if I ask you some questions?

    I am happy to pm you if its ok.


    Quoting Mrsfarr:

    I have aspergers. I hid it from my husband until just a few months ago because I hated that I had it and I didn't want him to treat me differently. The only thing that's changed since telling him is now he pays attention to stories about aspergers so he can better understand what I'm going through.



    On a related but seperate note, aspergers no longer is. It's officially classified as an autism spectrum disorder now.

  • Mrsfarr
    by Mrsfarr
    February 21, 2013 at 5:56 AM
    I don't mind at all.


    Quoting bluedolly01:

    Do you mind if I ask you some questions?



    I am happy to pm you if its ok.




    Quoting Mrsfarr:

    I have aspergers. I hid it from my husband until just a few months ago because I hated that I had it and I didn't want him to treat me differently. The only thing that's changed since telling him is now he pays attention to stories about aspergers so he can better understand what I'm going through.





    On a related but seperate note, aspergers no longer is. It's officially classified as an autism spectrum disorder now.


  • Conner_Ian
    February 21, 2013 at 5:58 AM

    I have it.

  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    February 21, 2013 at 8:20 AM

    You are welcome. I learned by reading it. I had no idea that some adults were going through this.

    Quoting bluedolly01:

    Thank you. I did find it very interesting. I think I have lots of research to do.

    Now that I have a reason for the way he acts sometimes I think I will be able to deal with those "acting like an ass" moments :)


    Quoting Bmat:

    http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Asperger_syndrome_and_adults

    This article seems to have a good description, including the effects on the spouse.



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