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jujubeewita1
My toddler hits me! What should I do:(
February 16, 2013 at 11:40 PM

     I have a wonderful 18month old toddler,I am a single parent as well. As of lately he has been hitting me, and anyone that is near. We can be out at a grocery store and someone will walk by and he will just hit them, he will also hit other children and say no. When I approach him and say that's not nice, he yells no and swings on me. What should I do, he seems to young to understand a time out...

Replies

  • frndlyfn
    February 16, 2013 at 11:46 PM

    NO way   He will understand time out at this age.  It is only for 2 minutes maximum.    You give him one warning for the misbehavior.  Ex Do not hit or you will be in time out.   When he swings again, you stop his arm/hand and walk him to wherever the spot will be.  You explain why he is in that spot and you walk away.  If he gets out of the spot you walk him back and restart the time when he stays still in that spot.  You do not engage with him at all during that 2 minutes except for moving him back to the spot and restarting time.  Once he has finished the 2 minutes (maximum at this age  - 1 min / yr of age) you explain again why he was there.  Have him give you a hug and move on with day.

    Another method you can use is stopping him before he actually hits someone and tell him to use gentle touch.  You gently rub his arm or hand telling him this is gentle touch, we do not hit.

  • jujubeewita1
    February 16, 2013 at 11:49 PM

    This seems so easy,but Im such a softie on him. But I will try it,I have gotten other forms of advice that dont seem to work,or I struggle to stick with them.

  • hollydaze1974
    February 16, 2013 at 11:50 PM
    He isn't too young to put in a crib and tell him " when you can control yourself, I'll come get you. He's also not too young to be told " don't touch strangers" while in a store with consequences being laid out. Many of us take misbehaving children to the restroom to cool off. Same with kids " I know you are frustrated/ angry/ tired but hitting is not allowed " and time out there. If you speak like they are little adults , they catch on faster. Sometimes the time out is for you more than it is for him. He actually understand the vocabulary of an adult than "not nice" because there isn't a consequence. Adult words in a bellowing tone followed by consistant consequences is your best bet, imo
  • AerickMomi_MrsD
    February 16, 2013 at 11:53 PM

    You keep being a softy hes gonna keep hitting. If you punish him and don't follow through with it hes never going to take you serious..

    Hes old enough to understand what a firm no means.. If you put him in time out and he gets outta time out before his 2 mins is up just keep putting him back in time out hell get the point

    Quoting jujubeewita1:

    This seems so easy,but Im such a softie on him. But I will try it,I have gotten other forms of advice that dont seem to work,or I struggle to stick with them.


  • hollydaze1974
    February 16, 2013 at 11:54 PM
    :-p supernanny fan! Can spot them a mile away!
    Not being mean.., just teasing a bit!

    Quoting frndlyfn:

    NO way   He will understand time out at this age.  It is only for 2 minutes maximum.    You give him one warning for the misbehavior.  Ex Do not hit or you will be in time out.   When he swings again, you stop his arm/hand and walk him to wherever the spot will be.  You explain why he is in that spot and you walk away.  If he gets out of the spot you walk him back and restart the time when he stays still in that spot.  You do not engage with him at all during that 2 minutes except for moving him back to the spot and restarting time.  Once he has finished the 2 minutes (maximum at this age  - 1 min / yr of age) you explain again why he was there.  Have him give you a hug and move on with day.

    Another method you can use is stopping him before he actually hits someone and tell him to use gentle touch.  You gently rub his arm or hand telling him this is gentle touch, we do not hit.

  • hopeym23
    February 16, 2013 at 11:54 PM

    That is part of the problem.  I know from experience!

    Quoting jujubeewita1:

    This seems so easy,but Im such a softie on him. But I will try it,I have gotten other forms of advice that dont seem to work,or I struggle to stick with them.


  • jujubeewita1
    February 16, 2013 at 11:57 PM

    my mom says the same thing!!! its just as soon as I say no or make him sit for a while he acts like hes scared or upset at me,ill reach for him and he will run,or snatch from me...ugh,its just like I cant win,wish me the best of luck with sticking to this!!!!

  • frndlyfn
    February 17, 2013 at 12:02 AM

     I cant help that the method really does work with children.   DD is almost 7 and we have had to do time outs at a store recently due to making bad choices.  She usually loses privileges now but that day she needed the immediate consequence of time out.


    Quoting hollydaze1974:

    :-p supernanny fan! Can spot them a mile away!
    Not being mean.., just teasing a bit!

    Quoting frndlyfn:

    NO way   He will understand time out at this age.  It is only for 2 minutes maximum.    You give him one warning for the misbehavior.  Ex Do not hit or you will be in time out.   When he swings again, you stop his arm/hand and walk him to wherever the spot will be.  You explain why he is in that spot and you walk away.  If he gets out of the spot you walk him back and restart the time when he stays still in that spot.  You do not engage with him at all during that 2 minutes except for moving him back to the spot and restarting time.  Once he has finished the 2 minutes (maximum at this age  - 1 min / yr of age) you explain again why he was there.  Have him give you a hug and move on with day.

    Another method you can use is stopping him before he actually hits someone and tell him to use gentle touch.  You gently rub his arm or hand telling him this is gentle touch, we do not hit.


     

  • alexis_06
    February 17, 2013 at 12:02 AM

     completely agree with this!

    Quoting frndlyfn:

    NO way   He will understand time out at this age.  It is only for 2 minutes maximum.    You give him one warning for the misbehavior.  Ex Do not hit or you will be in time out.   When he swings again, you stop his arm/hand and walk him to wherever the spot will be.  You explain why he is in that spot and you walk away.  If he gets out of the spot you walk him back and restart the time when he stays still in that spot.  You do not engage with him at all during that 2 minutes except for moving him back to the spot and restarting time.  Once he has finished the 2 minutes (maximum at this age  - 1 min / yr of age) you explain again why he was there.  Have him give you a hug and move on with day.

    Another method you can use is stopping him before he actually hits someone and tell him to use gentle touch.  You gently rub his arm or hand telling him this is gentle touch, we do not hit.

     

  • AerickMomi_MrsD
    February 17, 2013 at 12:05 AM

    BUMP!

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