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chelseasills
getting hubby to help with the baby..
February 11, 2013 at 2:56 PM

since we brought Christian home in october, its mostly been myself doing everything for him. feeding him, changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night with him, everything. we both work full time, and he goes to daycare full time. i ask him to help and its like i have to nag for him to hel me. we have fough tmulttiple times about it. i know he loves our son, but how do i tell him i need help without nagging him?

Replies

  • Mrsfarr
    by Mrsfarr
    February 11, 2013 at 2:59 PM
    Just ask for help and hope for the best. Nagging will just stress the both of you out and create tension. Maybe your husband doesn't feel confident in his ability to care for the baby in the ways that you do?

    Sorry, I'm not much help.
  • shrinkingviolet
    February 11, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    What types of things are you saying that he is saying you are nagging? And how often?

  • aimesnyc
    February 11, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    Don't ask, just say "your turn!"  Just say "Hey, we both work FT, and we are both this little guy's parents.  We both need to do the baby stuff."  Then you can start to talk about how you can take turns waking up with him, etc.  My husband and I took turns waking up with our son, and we take turns bathing him.  We both change diapers.  You have to be a team.

    And on the days where neither of you are working, leave him alone with Christian for a few hours while you run errands, etc.  The more time he has alone with him, the more comfortable he will be.

  • Abigail0210
    February 11, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    My husband was very helpful but one time (I was on maternity leave) I was sooo exhausted and tired of saying "please help me" that I told him I Was going to go back to Pennsylvania for a few weeks to stay with my family and have some help.... that woke him up...he did nights a few days out of the week after my comment about going back to Pennsylvania

  • chelseasills
    February 11, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    he never says i nag, but i feel like i am because i ask him 5 or 6 times before i get frustrated and take care of it myself.


    Quoting shrinkingviolet:

    What types of things are you saying that he is saying you are nagging? And how often?



  • opal10161973
    February 11, 2013 at 3:19 PM

    I would tell him he could either clean the house or take care of the baby- pick one, because I am not doing both.  Or he could do half of each, which would be the better option, IMO.  If he doesn't want to do any of it, then tell him it is time for you to consider WHY you are with him at all.  Make him convince YOU as to why you should stay. 

  • emmy526
    by emmy526
    February 11, 2013 at 3:27 PM

    just start handing him things to do....if the baby needs a change, hand him over to dad, and tell dad to change him, you're busy.  If he needs feeding, again, hand him over to Dad.  Don't ask, just do.  

  • Mom2Just1
    February 11, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    In my house I do all feelings because I am nursing. My husband changes diapers. Tell him he is changing diapers. 

  • Mom2Just1
    February 11, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    Feedings*

  • LucyHarper
    February 11, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    Don't nag, just talk to him and explain that you both do equal work and you both made this child and are this childs parents, so you need to do equal work with the baby. If you changed a lot of diapers and he didn't change any that day, if the baby needs a change, say "I did all of the others, you can do this one" and leave it at that.

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