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he wouldn't consider me
by shaik
February 8, 2013 at 4:40 AM
My husband had a female friend who was his work colleague she was close to him a few weeks after we got married she used to phone him on his off days asking hw he is n hw I am I was a bit jealous but I never thought anything bad abt them being friends he used to also travel with her. When I was 8 months pregnant I started getting suspicious coz he used to come home sort of push me away and chat to her I started reading his msgs n I found that one day she was watching porn movie n telling him wats its all abt I kept that to my self thinking that if mentioned it to him he would dlt her msgs a fews days after that he told his friend 'he wants to do her' I was hurt but still kept in me I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl..
I sat him down n told him abt it he said he was joking n wen I asked him abt the porn movie he kept quiet n I insisted for an answer n he fought with me we used fight daily abt it I told him to dlt her of bbm n remove her numb. Which he did

a month later he went for training lied to me his going alone n was checking his phone n he had msgs to a another friend that she is with him he admitted he went with her but I was hurt that he lied to me we started fighting I accused him he hit me his mother n family got involved n mentioned it was a mistake getting us married n made it seem like I was at fault.
his sister gave him a choice to live separate n still support the child n he just kept quiet...his mother n sister tells me what to do all the time when to feed my child what she should wear they are like verbal reminders they tell my husband what to do and he listens to them yet he hardly listens to me I cnt trust my husband anymore n I forgave him but every time we argue I think of all these things n it works me up its eating me up inside I dnt wanna loose my husband
I'm so helpless plz help me find a way to trust him and a way to make him consider me as his wife in his life we spoke abt it so many times but that didn't work he refuses to go for counseling


  • DieselsMom
    February 8, 2013 at 4:45 AM

    Baby girl.....I am going to try to say this as nicely as possible....Go back to school! Get an education, get a good paying job, and then you wont have to worry about can support yourself and your kiddo, and tell his family to shove it!

  • funhappymom
    February 8, 2013 at 8:36 AM

    Do you live with his family? Do you have somewhere to go? I think you need to decide if this is the life you want for you and your baby.

  • breebree04
    February 8, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    do you and dh live with his family? If so, you guys need to get your own place asap! Living with his family is only going to put more strain on your relationship. I would really try to convince him to go to counseling with you, I dont know what else will work if you have no trust in your relationship. If he refuses to go then you need to move on. You dont want to live the rest of your life like that and worry that he is cheating all the time.

  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    February 8, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    I'm not sure why you consider her a rival, since he married you. Do you treat him well? Do you smile and make home a place he likes to come to?  If you act desperate then he may turn to someone who makes him laugh and places no demands on him. I'm not saying to be a doormat, but would you like to come home to someone who makes you unhappy?  Of course not. His sister needs to stay out of a relationship between husband and wife. Since you are so unhappy, get counseling.

  • Jadegirl1819
    February 8, 2013 at 9:57 AM

    You haven't forgiven him if you are still thinking about it and getting angry about it.  My opinion is that he doesn't give a damn about the marriage if he won't go to counceling.

    I agree.  Go back to school and get a job and get out of there.  Stop being a door mat to him and his family.  If you don't respect yourself then no one is going to respect you.

  • shaik
    by shaik
    February 10, 2013 at 2:31 AM
    Bmat I do everything to make him happy I behave as normal as possible I cry to myself if we need to discuss something i speak in a polite way...we live on our own n his parents live next door us we go there everyday
  • shaik
    by shaik
    February 10, 2013 at 2:32 AM
    I thank u all for helping me
  • LHummel
    by LHummel
    February 10, 2013 at 4:58 AM

    Im sorry sweetie but it was hard to understand your post. Did you say he hit you?

  • GirlWithANikon
    February 10, 2013 at 5:44 AM

    You married a child. He has mommy issues, commitment issues, i don't need to go on.

    Swim on fishy, find another. It's gonna hurt, but it'll heal.

  • GirlWithANikon
    February 10, 2013 at 5:45 AM

    step one, cut the cord. Move! Drop all your income tax on a deposit and get an apartent if you rent. If not I would put the house up for sale no joke.

    Quoting shaik:

    Bmat I do everything to make him happy I behave as normal as possible I cry to myself if we need to discuss something i speak in a polite way...we live on our own n his parents live next door us we go there everyday

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