Advice for Moms

sunshine3734
I need help. please someone
February 8, 2013 at 3:38 AM

Where to start? I was pregnant a few months ago..I was 8 weeks and a few days. I had told my boyfriend if a year and a half that I was pregnant.. He had a melt down. He had a gun up to his head and he had cut his wrists. So for him I got an abortion. It killed me. Yes, I know it's wrong and what not but I had to do it. I made him sit there with me while i was getting it done. it was very tramatic on both parts. His sister had told me he told her he regreted me getting the abortion.  Recently I found out I was pregnant again..I haven't had my period since December 10. I don't know what to do or what to think. I still haven't told my boyfriend yet because I'm scared for him and me. 

Replies

  • jhslove
    by jhslove
    February 8, 2013 at 5:43 AM

    P.S. It is not a good sign when you're in a relationship and you feel scared to tell your partner a piece of major news, like a pregnancy. That sends up major red flags for me. Good luck with whatever you decide!

  • erikadi
    by erikadi
    February 8, 2013 at 9:26 AM

    I am worried for you and the baby that he is so unstable. I think this time you should have someone with you when you tell him.

  • breebree04
    February 8, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    um are you using any form of birth control to prevent these pregnancies from happening. I get getting pregnant once. oops, oh well but then to get an abortion that you didnt want and turn around and get pregnant again! I would think you would have been more careful the second time around, especially your bf since he was the one freaking about the first pregnancy. Please, Please use some birth control after this one and If you want the baby then keep it. You can do it by yourself if you have to. You never know he might come around during the pregnancy too but he definately needs to seek professional help.

  • sunshine3734
    February 8, 2013 at 10:42 AM

    I am going to have someone there. His sister. I hope it will help.

  • sunshine3734
    February 8, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    Yes, I was taking birth control. Sure I would miss a day or two but if we did have sex I'd take plan b just to be sure. He refuses to put a condom on and expects me to tell him every single time. I'm pretty sure that is his job. But he can't even do that. I do know that he does need professional help..






  • gottaluvmee
    February 8, 2013 at 10:55 AM

    I am gonna say this, and I am not meaning it in a harsh way. I will say this like I have told my own kids. When you decided to plan grown up games, you need to make damn sure your willing to take on the responsibility of those choices you have made. We all have a choice and these choices we make not only affect us, but everyone around us. If this guy is willing to play the games that "dads" play he needs to be a man and do what is right! And this goes along with you. I mean really? Stop having sex if you don't want to get pregnant! You can wrap it and take birth control, but if you have sex there is a chance you will still get pregnant. Good luck, and I am like the rest this man needs major help. I would suggest you would need some to. Your going to need helping getting through the tramatic event that has already taken place, and also anything else that might come your way that he chooses not to deal with in a healthy way.  If your going to stay with him I would think you need to get ready for a huge roller coaster ride. Good luck!

  • nuts4scouts
    February 8, 2013 at 11:23 AM

    You BOTH need counseling.

    Wrist cutting, and a gun to the head to get your way, is NOT a "good match" for a relationship.

    Claiming that it is not your "job" to get your BF to wear protection during sex is highly immature. It is also self-destructive considering your previous experience with pregnancy. This last one was no "accident". It was a "got-cha" to your wrist cutting BF for "forcing" you to have an abortion.

    You both need to get help, and grow up.

  • twinsmom2001
    February 8, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    I was in a similar situation as you...20 years ago.  I got pregnant, was told by my boyfriend that he couldn't guarantee that he would be there for me.  I was 'in love' and didn't want to lose him so I had an abortion.  I was living with my parents and he was living with us.  I resented him for having the abortion and he even said "I don't think we should have done that."  We ended up breaking up and when I spoke to him a year later he said that he doesn't ever think about the abortion where I cried almost everyday about it.  I still regret getting pregnant to this day.

    All I can say is be prepared to raise this baby alone.  Hopefully that doesn't happen but be prepared.  And you need to tell him!  Now you have another person to concern yourself with.  It's going to be a very hard road. 

    I wish you the best of luck and don't envy your situation at all.

    God bless! 

  • icn_mom
    by icn_mom
    February 8, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    are you not on birth control? What do you intend on doing?

Advice for Moms