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itsamadfrenzy
She hates me!!
February 3, 2013 at 10:48 AM

Okay, so I am going to try and keep this as short as possible.. it is an issue I have with my MIL. 

Since we announced we were having another baby my MIL has been not in the mind frame (in my opinion). She told me I was no longer allowed in her house until I got an abortion, this lasted a whole month. She has told me that I cant eat dinner at the same dinner table as her, she refuses to come to my baby shower and disrespected the way we choose to raise our 2 year old son as well. 

Throughout this time I have voiced to my spouse how sad it makes me that she acts this way. My guy is an awesome father and partner but in this siutation he always tells me to get over it and let it go. He uses the excuse that she is older (in her 80s) and things were different, basically she isnt caught up on the times. I reply by telling him that if he cant support me or offer me reassurance I want to visit a counselor to talk about this and get it off my chest. He then tells me I am over-reacting. I love my man and would never let anything come between us, but it has put a large strain on our relationship. Last night it all came up because he went to watch a hockey game at his parents house and I said I felt uncomfortable going. When I am there she doesnt speak to me and there is alot of tension in the room. I want to have a relationship with her that is close and where she is like a second mom, but no matter what I do she doesnt want to. 

What would you guys do? I dont want to see a medical professional behind his back but I also dont want to live like this and not be able to voice my concerns. HELP! 

thank you

Replies

  • lucky2Beeme
    February 3, 2013 at 10:54 AM

    I think you need to go to the source of the problems his mother. ASK her why she doesn't like you ? Ask her what changes can be made so you all have a good relationship. If she wont work with you for a better relationship then you need to decide how you want to handle this.

  • Kimbunny
    February 3, 2013 at 10:56 AM

    This is very sad :(  I don't know why some people act that way.  I'm sorry.  I really think that your partner needs to be on your side.  I really think he should tell his mom that she is being out of line!!!!  I mean come on, this is the mother of her grandchildren and she is treating you like you don't belong....My heart is aching for you because my first son's grandma never had anything nice to say about me and probably never will.  I think that you have every right to seek out a councelor, I think it would be a really good idea.  Don't let him make you feel like you are over reacting...he should try and see how he might feel if your family was treating him that way.  It is NOT ok to every treat someone badly like that! NEVER!!!  Keep your head up

  • itsamadfrenzy
    February 3, 2013 at 11:12 AM


    I really want to talk to her!! Do you think I should take her to lunch or something to do it? I am worried about talking about this in a public place because I am very emotional in situations like this where I have to express feelings that hurt me. 

    Quoting lucky2Beeme:

    I think you need to go to the source of the problems his mother. ASK her why she doesn't like you ? Ask her what changes can be made so you all have a good relationship. If she wont work with you for a better relationship then you need to decide how you want to handle this.



  • itsamadfrenzy
    February 3, 2013 at 11:15 AM


    I appreciate your post Kimbunny!! Thank you for your kind words of support! I hope we can get beyond where we are now and have a better relationship. My spouse keeps saying she will change her mind once the baby is born but to me that is a bit late! I think it is best for me to talk to someone outside of the family. 

    Quoting Kimbunny:

    This is very sad :(  I don't know why some people act that way.  I'm sorry.  I really think that your partner needs to be on your side.  I really think he should tell his mom that she is being out of line!!!!  I mean come on, this is the mother of her grandchildren and she is treating you like you don't belong....My heart is aching for you because my first son's grandma never had anything nice to say about me and probably never will.  I think that you have every right to seek out a councelor, I think it would be a really good idea.  Don't let him make you feel like you are over reacting...he should try and see how he might feel if your family was treating him that way.  It is NOT ok to every treat someone badly like that! NEVER!!!  Keep your head up



  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    February 3, 2013 at 11:18 AM
    Why does she not like you?
  • beadingmom17
    February 3, 2013 at 11:20 AM
    What possible reason does she have to not be happy about another baby being brought into the family?
  • itsamadfrenzy
    February 3, 2013 at 11:23 AM


    There is no real reason why that she has been able to tell me. I guess right now it is because we did not plan this pregnancy or "okay" it with her first. LOL She didn't start hating me until I was pregnant this time around. 

    Quoting atlmom2:

    Why does she not like you?



  • Kimbunny
    February 3, 2013 at 11:23 AM

     

    I agree.  good luck, I really hope things get better for you.

    Quoting itsamadfrenzy:

     

    I appreciate your post Kimbunny!! Thank you for your kind words of support! I hope we can get beyond where we are now and have a better relationship. My spouse keeps saying she will change her mind once the baby is born but to me that is a bit late! I think it is best for me to talk to someone outside of the family. 

    Quoting Kimbunny:

    This is very sad :(  I don't know why some people act that way.  I'm sorry.  I really think that your partner needs to be on your side.  I really think he should tell his mom that she is being out of line!!!!  I mean come on, this is the mother of her grandchildren and she is treating you like you don't belong....My heart is aching for you because my first son's grandma never had anything nice to say about me and probably never will.  I think that you have every right to seek out a councelor, I think it would be a really good idea.  Don't let him make you feel like you are over reacting...he should try and see how he might feel if your family was treating him that way.  It is NOT ok to every treat someone badly like that! NEVER!!!  Keep your head up

     

     


     

  • Mistweave
    February 3, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    I would go and see someone if that was what I felt would make me feel better and I would tell him I was going.  I would also not allow my children around a woman that insists on acting like a harpy.  She'll miss her grandchildren eventually and learn to play nice.  I have people in my family like that too and I refuse to be around them and they will not be allowed around my child after it's born either.

  • Lindalou907
    February 3, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    She's nutty, I would just keep my distance, your husband loves both of you, ideally he would tell het to knock it off but maybe he's a peacekeeper by nature. Personally, I would say to him go to the superbowl deal, and I would enjoy the day by myself. If you want to go to a counselor to vent and get some ideas I think he should understand that!

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