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twinsmom2001
Dating and the single mom
February 1, 2013 at 3:40 PM

I went out on a date during the week for the first time. My kids are finally old enough to be left alone.   We were having a really great time but I had to cut it short because I don't like leaving the kids alone for more than a couple of hours.  The kids were already in bed and I have a finished basement so I invited him in for a drink. 

Now I feel like a terrible mother.  Is it bad that I had a man in the house while the kids were upstairs sleeping?  All we did was sit on the couch and watch a movie then he left.

Thoughts?

Replies

  • LuLuRex
    by LuLuRex
    February 1, 2013 at 5:27 PM

    I don't think you did anything wrong. Glad you had a great time :)

  • mammabear413
    February 1, 2013 at 5:50 PM
    That's fine there sleeping enjoy yourself
  • sabrtooth1
    February 1, 2013 at 5:52 PM

    What is YOUR definition of "old enough to be left alone"?  10, 13, 18?  The FIRST TIME dh & I ran errands and left our kids home alone, they were 13 & 16.  Something tells me yours are younger.

    Personally, I wouldn't bring a man into the house while my children slept in another room.  I CERTAINLY wouldn't bring a man home on a first date.  I wouldn't bring a man home PERIOD, unless I had a pretty good idea that he was normal, healthy, had a GREAT job, had his own house & car, no debts, and wanted a ready made family.   I think you can guess how long that would take. 

  • MJP76
    by MJP76
    February 2, 2013 at 12:42 AM

    No, I don't think it's right to bring a man into your home on a first date. Especially if you have kids...


  • AM-BRAT
    by AM-BRAT
    February 2, 2013 at 2:45 AM
    Idk what I would do. I haven't been there.

    I can't judge you in it either. Glad you had fun. Take it slow. Slow.
  • alexis_06
    February 2, 2013 at 3:13 AM

     i dont necissarily think what you did was wrong...but i also think it kinda depends on how long you have known the guy for..i dont know if you knew the guy before hand, or if this was the first time you met him...if it was the first date, first day really seeing him, i do think its kinda odd you would bring a stranger in the house..but thats me...but i dont think that should make you feel like a terrible mother...i've been a single mom since day 1 (my daughter is 8yrs old)  i think its more or less guilt..guilt based on the fact that you went on a date, and were enjoying yourself..something you might not be used to doing..and i dont think you should feel guilty either.  enjoy it!  :)

  • jaysmom2002
    February 2, 2013 at 3:21 AM
    I personally think it was too soon to invite him over. But take it slow and enjoy your self
  • ladysamanda
    February 2, 2013 at 4:08 AM

    My thought is if you have kids,and are single, you dont need a social life. Your a mom first of all. Your vagina can have fun with toys, you dont need a penis, until the youngest is over 18. All I can think of is pedophile.

  • Blue_Spiral
    February 2, 2013 at 6:35 AM


    I think it's only wrong because you probably don't know him really well.

    I think I'd wait at least 3 months before doing what you did.

    However, plenty of women get married to a guy they think is great and ten years later find out he was molesting their kids, or having affairs, or doing other secret terrible things, so it's really hard to judge someone even after knowing them a while.


  • Blue_Spiral
    February 2, 2013 at 6:37 AM


    Quoting ladysamanda:

    My thought is if you have kids,and are single, you dont need a social life. Your a mom first of all. Your vagina can have fun with toys, you dont need a penis, until the youngest is over 18. All I can think of is pedophile.

    Wow...

    I believe whole-heartedly that once you become a mom your children come first, but without some outlet you could go crazy.

    I mean, some women are fine without any friends or boyfriends and some need it desperately to stay sane.

    Eighteen years alone?

    It's not about filling your vagina with something, it's about companionship.

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