Advice for Moms

CTC7122006
Life Insurance??
January 29, 2013 at 8:17 AM

So, my daughter's father's mother (we are not together, have been borken up for 3 years now) wants to buy a life insurance policy on my daughter. She claims she is buying one for all 3 of her grandkids. I'm not comfortable with this at all. She is only 6 years old, and in my opinion, thinking of buying a life insurance policy for her is morbid. I feel if she really wants to help why can't she invest that money into a college plan instead? My daughter is perfectly healthy. I understand some people do buy policies for their children and I'm not in any way saying they are wrong for doing so. I don't know if it's just because I don't like him or his family (cruel but truthful) or what but something about the idea just doesn't sit right with me. Unfortunately, there is nothing illegal about it and nothing a court can do to stop it but I just don't like the idea. Thoughts? Comments?

Replies

  • -PB
    by -PB
    January 29, 2013 at 9:56 AM

     idk...I think its smart.  You never know what could happen.  I have life insurance on my 3 year old (dh and I also have insurance, of course).  Most cases life insurance is cheap for children.  My bil's girlfriend was killed in a horrible car accident.  She was 17 years old.  Her little brother was 13 and killed also.  Her parents didn't have life insurance and the two funerals wiped out their savings.

  • CTC7122006
    January 29, 2013 at 10:04 AM

     I do agree that it is a good thing to have. I just don't trust him or his family when it comes to them having her personal information (they need her social security number). And he seems to think that I don't need to know anything he does (which has flat out told me that it's none of my business) but when it comes to my daughter, I do have a right to know. It's his vaguness and sneakiness that worries me. A lot of my friends and family have one for their children...but it's the fact that he is SO insistent on it.

  • twinmommy2010
    January 29, 2013 at 10:12 AM

    Some life insurance gain cash vaule and can be use for college and if they dont want they can use the for anything else. 

  • tools4mom
    January 29, 2013 at 11:06 AM

    Having a life insurance policy can be a good thing. You can have a term or a whole life policy. You can have a cash value or no cash value you can borrow against if needed. There's a difference. Gerber Life Insurance has pretty good rates and has the "College Grow Up Plan" so you can cash in the value of the policy after so many years when they'd be college age I believe. The concern I would have in your situation is who the OWNER is. Otherwords, who's in control of the money if the policy was to be cashed out? I would make sure that is a parent or someone who has HER best interest at heart an not looking at the CASH VALUE the policy can bring them on a person's life should they pass. Being prepared for the unexpected isn't a bad thing. Hope that helps. :)

     

  • JWhite27
    January 29, 2013 at 11:41 AM

    My grandma had a policy for me since i was 1 and also on my brothers and just recently passed it to us to control. It is something important. The Gerber grow up plan is a great one to get. I would say i understand exactly where you are coming from with ur exs mom doing this because of how u feel. BUT, there is a time in ur life that u need to realize they will always be some part of ur life and u need to kill the crap out of them with KINDNESS. It works REALLY. The more hateful they r, the nicer you need to be. And when they r trying to do things behind ur back just learn to be ok with it. Tell them u think what they r doing is a good thing and u think a life insurance that could be used for a college fund would be a plus.Also dont worry who's name is on the paperwork. If something were to happen and the money didnt go to help with costs u could take them to court and WIN. They would look really really bad. I dont know what ur situation is with custody or anything but that could make a big difference.If the dads name is on the birth certificate he can get any info he needs. If he pays child support and helps then u could at least point him in the right direction with finding out the info he needs. If he dosent help and pay child support then you need to fix the problem and have it done through the legal system. Dont feed them any longer with anger. I believe that is what they want and as long as they get it they will keep it up. Been there done that. It is really hard but after a few times of doing the right thing and not feeding them you will see a difference. Hold ur head high.   

  • StrawberryCool
    January 29, 2013 at 12:13 PM

    my mother has had a policy on my daughter for a while. 

    i wouldn't give him her ss if fyou don't want them to have that information.

  • Mrsfarr
    by Mrsfarr
    January 29, 2013 at 12:17 PM
    If she's doing it for all her grand kids, I wouldn't mind. Just in case. Bad things happen every day. But I'd want the parents to be the primary beneficiaries with funds only going to her if say in an accident, the parents and child died together.
    Just because I'm suspicious of everyone.
  • Bleacheddecay
    January 29, 2013 at 12:32 PM

    Can you stop her even if you wanted to? If not. Don't worry about it. My ex in laws were like that too. Due to a history of deaths in the family they always do that and think it's useful.

  • CTC7122006
    January 29, 2013 at 1:05 PM

     Thanks everyone for your opinions. It's really nice to get different point of views on the situation. I know he has her social, he's had it before but he can't remember where he wrote it down at. I just wish he would sit down and discuss it with me instead of trying to be sneaky. That's what bothers me is that he's trying to hide it from me and lie to me about it.

  • emilyelephant
    January 29, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    If they need her personal info, don't give it to them & problem solved.  I agree with you in starting a college fund or even a simple savings account.  You should research life insurance plans and why you should NOT get whole life insurance, so that if she does end up getting it, she chooses the best kind.

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