Just as the title of this post says my friend who I just met not too long ago is going through this with her current soon to be ex boyfriend. Unfortunately she is "too scared" to cause him drama so she wont speak up about her abuse....as a friend I always pick up her calls and reply to texts but idk what to say now that she's at the end of the rope.
Exactly what has happened to her is this: She is an immigrant from Guatemala and when she started working here in the US fell head over heals over this "lovely man" at work, moved in with him, had money saved up for her own home $15-$17 thousand dollars but had him put it in HIS bank account for her and not keep it at home for security. He's bought 3 different cars cash while she had no idea what was going on til the last one was purchased. She gave up on the $$$ in the meantime thought he'd change. She has 2 sons under age not citizens either who have been victims of physical and emotional abuse by him as so has she. Now he has confessed that since this past November 2012 he's been hanging out with a new woman, younger & with no kids of her own but it has gotten to the point where they "hang out" for 5-6 hrs at a time even days and he returns home with lots of hickies..his personality has totally changed so she had been suspicious about a month into it but was in terrible denial.
My questions are:
can she do anything about gaining her money back?
do you think she should report this all to the police?
what other actions should she take?
by Lindalou907January 25 at 10:32 PM
Good grief, that's awful, I think she should file a police report. She could also file a small claim, I'm not sure what the limit is.
January 25 at 11:19 PM
She would have to pay hundreds just to file paper work for a court date. For what? She can't prove that it is her money. All he would have to do is say that she's lying. By some small chance that she did get a judgement, most likely he wouldn't pay her back! So there goes more money down the drain. Seeing as she is about to be homeless, I am sure that she doesn't have money to waste.
She could go after him for the abuse but then she has to prove it. I will assume that she doesn't have any pictures or video of what was going on. Then it is her word against his and most likely nothing will come of it. Then it is just longer that this man is in her life and controlling her.
So, yes it is better that she gets him out of her life ASAP and starts over. It sucks but it is better for her and her children.
Not sure because she really doesn't have a way to prove that the money is hers. She should cut her losses and move on, start over. Really, losing a few thousand is better than losing your sanity or life, her kids shouldn't have to be put through that.
Start over? This guy needs to go to jail for thieft,child abuse, as well as domestic abuse. Guaranteed, he has done this before and it wouldnt suprise me if he has a lengthy criminal history. If she takes him to court, its doubtful he would even show up.
January 25 at 11:21 PM
I hope that she gets back on her feet soon.
Thanks ladies....recent news.: She is out of his place(his mommy went over to his place and kicked her out) and staying with a friend..now for her to see what she can do. I agree with you ms super woman , I just hope she doesnt fall for another man again who treats her like that. Women need to stick to their kids own good now their own needs and stay "scared" of any man.
by alexis_06January 25 at 11:35 PM
that really sucks, but without proof i wouldnt think theres much that can be done. hopefully the lesson was learned
January 27 at 1:09 PM
thanks ladies i appreciate the advice...she has moved out but if she can get it all recorded with him confessing it I just wish her good luck getting what she lost.