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haleyjean14
My boyfriend is pressuring me to have an abortion.
January 19, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Hi. I'm 18 years old and currently 6 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been struggling ever since we found out about a week ago. My family has always been pro-life; that's how I was raised. Even before I got pregnant, I knew that abortion would never be an option for me. My boyfriend completely disagrees, and feels that I am a very selfish person for wanting to keep this child. He says that it is unfair to bring a child into this world when we are not ready to be parents and raise a child. I agree that it is bad timing, and that our situation is not the ideal way to bring a child into this world. My family has been extremely supportive, offering financial support for us (if need be), until we can do it on our own. My boyfriend and I are both working full time and planning on moving out before the baby arrives. My boyfriend says he supports any decision that I make, however, as soon as I told him my decision to keep the baby, he got extremely defensive. I've been called selfish and immature, and there's been extreme tension between us ever since. Ive done everything in my power to be understanding of his feelings, and I've been there for him, but he still thinks I'm making this "all about me". I guess I'm just looking for some support from anyone that might be going through or has been through the same thing. I don't know what to do at this point, I'm trying to stay true to myself but it's hard, especially with the person I love against me, at a time when we need each other the most. Thanks for reading. 

Replies

  • christinad612
    January 19, 2013 at 10:22 PM

    Been there, been with a man that pressured me to have an abortion. I did it, and always regretted it. My ex only pressured me because he was more concerned about himself and never really cared about me- that all became clear over time after I terminated. Do whats right for you, I have never gotten over it and will never forgive myself. He should consider your feelings as the mother instead of continuing to pressure you. I believed him when he said I would get over it, and I never have because it was not what I wanted.

    I

  • christinad612
    January 19, 2013 at 10:23 PM

    Also, that was 2 years ago. My daughter was born by my ex husband when I was 19, I got pregnant at 18. Its been hard sometimes but your family will be there for you ad you will never regret it, I promise.

    And her name is Haley :)

  • AM-BRAT
    by AM-BRAT
    January 19, 2013 at 10:28 PM
    I've never been in this situation but agree with 612.

    Op, gl in whatever you decide. He could cone to fall in love with baby but I fear you two may never see eye to eye. :(


    Quoting christinad612:

    Been there, been with a man that pressured me to have an abortion. I did it, and always regretted it. My ex only pressured me because he was more concerned about himself and never really cared about me- that all became clear over time after I terminated. Do whats right for you, I have never gotten over it and will never forgive myself. He should consider your feelings as the mother instead of continuing to pressure you. I believed him when he said I would get over it, and I never have because it was not what I wanted.

    I


  • Bleacheddecay
    January 19, 2013 at 10:31 PM

    Everyone wanted me to have an abortion but I didn't and I'm glad. I was 30, not 18 btw.

    My mother was pressued to have an abortion and they weren't even legal back then. She was 16. She's glad she didn't.

    Unless it's YOUR idea, I say don't do it. You are very likely to regret it. I'd also rethink moving out with him.

  • Zawifey
    by Zawifey
    January 19, 2013 at 10:32 PM

     If there is any part of you that wants to keep the baby, then keep it. Don't let your bf force you into something you could possibly regret for the rest of your life. He sounds immature and childish saying that he supports you then gets mad because you made a choice. Do what YOUR heart feels is right. It is YOUR decision.

  • StacyO722
    January 19, 2013 at 10:34 PM

     I can't imagine how you're feeling. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Is adoption an option? If neither one of you are ready for a baby, you may want to look into it. Don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. You will have to live with the decision for the rest of your life.

    Good luck in whatever you decide!

  • smiley0787
    January 19, 2013 at 10:38 PM
    Hey Hun, sorry you have too go though this by yourself. If he loves you and supports you then he should stick by your side no matter what decision you make. Keep it if this is what you want. Maybe consider adoption! Good Luck
  • Dqnana
    by Dqnana
    January 19, 2013 at 10:39 PM

    It has to be YOUR decision.  If he is adamant about not wanting the child, seek the advice of an attorney. If he refuses to help financially and wants no part in the child's life, then have him terminate his rights. It will mean that you can never ask him to help financially, but when you DO find the right guy, you will be free to have him adopt your child as his own.  Sounds harsh ... but it is empowering to know what your rights are ... even is you never have to use them.  If all goes well, he will decide to embrace this child, and you, and you can be the parents this baby deservs.  Be well.   

  • beadingmom17
    January 19, 2013 at 10:40 PM
    Do not do anything you're uncomfortable with! If he continues to be an ass about it, drop him.
  • Action_Jaxon
    January 19, 2013 at 10:41 PM
    dont let him pressure you. You have support in your family, which makes you a lucky woman, turn to them. Maybe he will change his mind once he can see and hear that its a living thing that yall created.
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