Advice for Moms

Chevys_Mommii
First baby. Mom to Be and Becoming a Single Mom
January 19, 2013 at 9:47 PM

Hey everyone!! My name is Ada. Well I have and need a whole lot of advice. I was engaged to my fiance for about a year and he has a son which he never knew about until 7 months after our relationship began. I decided to stay and stick it through because I loved him and he loved me deeply. However, some weeks before our one year anniversary I found out I was pregnant and shocking to me he wanted me to get an abortion and do all these things. But I am my own woman, and didnt buy into it. He said if I dont get an abortion, we will break up. We eventually broke up, and these first 5 months he has not done anything towards the uprbringing of our daughter. I have had hospital visits and everything with being sick and he never came or replied any of messages when I informed him. I am turning 22 and will soon be a Physical Therapist and just wanted to get some information on how do I plan these next four months to make it a good year. I am happy I am giving birth into the summer. So I can focus on her. 

But emotionally, physically, I feel really down. He doesnt do anything towards helping me. Rather he is in the lfie of his first child more, and disregards me. I have given up on him and feel he isnt ready to settle and from his behavior has moved on as he excercises his flirt and men behavior all around.

Would Love some blunt yet uplifting advice.

-Ada

Replies

  • Hot_Mama3792
    January 19, 2013 at 9:55 PM

    I am 20 almost 21 years of age pregnant and to single. My fiance had a daughter and was married once before. we were great and he was happy about are pregnancy Until his Ex wife stepped in and now he lives with her and Supposivly are not together and he wants nothing to do with my pregnancy and wants a DNA test. soooo idk I can kinda relate and feel that i need a lot of advise but my advise i need is how to get over him. its hard to be in love with an ex who doest want me back :/

  • cutestmom24
    January 19, 2013 at 10:01 PM
    I'm sorry I have no advice but just wanted. to tell you congratulations.
    here is a bump hope you find the advice your looking. for
  • Chevys_Mommii
    January 19, 2013 at 10:05 PM

    I know how you feel girl. We were engaged for a year and when I first told him he didnt react until i was about 3 months pregnant. But I hope we get the advice we are looking for.

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 19, 2013 at 10:43 PM

    Well first of all congrats on the baby and becoming a physical therapist.

    Second, I know it's sad but he is not worth it. So decide right now if you want to hit him up for child support or leave him off of the birth certificate and have more freedom.

    Then go about getting the support you need from friends and family you can actually trust.

    *HUGS*

  • Dcn2010
    by Dcn2010
    January 19, 2013 at 10:55 PM

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. You want blunt so here it is...why are you even trying to involve him in your daughter's soon to be life and you're pregnancy if he told you if you didn't get a abortion you'd break up? That right there should tell you he's not interested in anything dealing with your daughter so why even try? You're just making it worse on yourself with false hope. I'm sorry but I've dealt with this before with a family member and I told her the same as I told you. Once she accepted that the baby daddy wouldn't be involved at all, she felt better about herself and is an amazing mother. 

    I hope you can realize that you don't need him in your daughters life. She has you, you're her mother, that's all she ever needs. 

  • Chevys_Mommii
    January 20, 2013 at 9:02 AM
    Thank you so much! I am honestly grateful for such a,website. Now I am making moves to make sure I have everything ready. Because I have decided I don't want him in the life of my child. I rather do it alone with my support team than have someone come around and give him stress. I will put him on child support. But won't be letting him in our lives he's is not a good example.


    Quoting Dcn2010:

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. You want blunt so here it is...why are you even trying to involve him in your daughter's soon to be life and you're pregnancy if he told you if you didn't get a abortion you'd break up? That right there should tell you he's not interested in anything dealing with your daughter so why even try? You're just making it worse on yourself with false hope. I'm sorry but I've dealt with this before with a family member and I told her the same as I told you. Once she accepted that the baby daddy wouldn't be involved at all, she felt better about herself and is an amazing mother. 

    I hope you can realize that you don't need him in your daughters life. She has you, you're her mother, that's all she ever needs. 


  • crystal1213
    January 20, 2013 at 9:15 AM

    I totally agree with this. He already told you he didn't want that beautiful baby, so you cannot expect him to do anything for her or be there. The more you keep expecting it or hoping for it the more you are hurting yourself. I don't think he should get off free though, he should have to pay child support and help but you will have to go through the court and sometimes it is a headache. I know it is hard to get over someone who, but you can do it.

    I can relate I got pregnant at 20 and I thought I would be with him forever but when our daughter we 6 months old he decided he didn't love me and loved someone else (mind you we had been together at that point for 5 years) and at first I was hurt but when I decided I was just going to move on it felt so much better and now I am happily married with another beautiful daughter. You just have to be strong for you and that baby! Congrats on being a physical therapist also!


    Quoting Dcn2010:

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. You want blunt so here it is...why are you even trying to involve him in your daughter's soon to be life and you're pregnancy if he told you if you didn't get a abortion you'd break up? That right there should tell you he's not interested in anything dealing with your daughter so why even try? You're just making it worse on yourself with false hope. I'm sorry but I've dealt with this before with a family member and I told her the same as I told you. Once she accepted that the baby daddy wouldn't be involved at all, she felt better about herself and is an amazing mother. 

    I hope you can realize that you don't need him in your daughters life. She has you, you're her mother, that's all she ever needs. 


  • Dcn2010
    by Dcn2010
    January 20, 2013 at 7:16 PM


    You're welcome!! This website has helped me in so many ways! I'm a young mom and this websites has helped me deal with a lot of problems I have that my family, they're all old school, hasn't been supportive with. And doing this alone just makes you that more of an amazing mother!! I seriously give single mom props. My DH works a lot  but he's still there when I really need it. My sister is a single mother to 3 kids and has been doing it for years!! She's learned the hard way but she's always come a long way!! She's had huge support from us and my parents and that's all you really need. And yes get that child support!! He may not want the baby but he sure as hell better support her! Keep your head up! It's going to be a bumpy ride but its not impossible =))

    Congrats on your baby girl!!

    Quoting Chevys_Mommii:

    Thank you so much! I am honestly grateful for such a,website. Now I am making moves to make sure I have everything ready. Because I have decided I don't want him in the life of my child. I rather do it alone with my support team than have someone come around and give him stress. I will put him on child support. But won't be letting him in our lives he's is not a good example.


    Quoting Dcn2010:

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. You want blunt so here it is...why are you even trying to involve him in your daughter's soon to be life and you're pregnancy if he told you if you didn't get a abortion you'd break up? That right there should tell you he's not interested in anything dealing with your daughter so why even try? You're just making it worse on yourself with false hope. I'm sorry but I've dealt with this before with a family member and I told her the same as I told you. Once she accepted that the baby daddy wouldn't be involved at all, she felt better about herself and is an amazing mother. 

    I hope you can realize that you don't need him in your daughters life. She has you, you're her mother, that's all she ever needs. 




Advice for Moms