Advice for Moms
I get so disgusted when my Father in law telsl my daughter "Oh you've got some sexy shoes on" or "Oh look at you in your sexy shirt. She's one. I keep telling my husband to say something but I'm fed up. I'm not comfortable with that or his insistance on changing her and saying she doesn't need clothes on and should run a round nude for a little bit everyday. When I try to rock her to sleep and shes just still, and her eyes are getting heavy he'll just grab and paw at her and say "you stinker. You're not sleepy". No matter how long the visit whie he's talking he'll just stare at me holding her longingly. Anytime I have her he's hovering going "here I got her. You go, I got her. His wife will make him dinner and he gets angry with her.. "damnit, I'm holding baby. Can't you see that?! I'm not hungry". Then when he's holding her he'll sit there and tell me what she likes, and finds funny, and things she doesn't like. When she was newborn he tried showing me how to correctly breastfeed. I'm so grossed out by this man. His wife works at a daycare and he goes there on his lunchbreak and plays with all the babies. I need a hula hoop rule with man that cusses like a sailor btw. He needs to relax, fo-real because I'm about to rip my hair out or ban him from ever babysitting. I just can't trust a man that will refer to baby girl as sexy. Am I over reacting?
Replies
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He needs to learn age appropriate language that is for sure. For his actions he sounds like he is over eager grandparent. Trust your mommy instinct on this though.
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That sounds incredibly creepy and he would never be touching my daughter for any reason.
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Its a little weird. I dont think i would let him babysit for sure. I dont let my sons be naked in front of ppl sure wouldnt if i had a daughter.
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If you're looking for advice, I would start (as you said you have done several times) by asking my husband to speak to his father. After that, I would start being clear with FIL about what the rules are with my baby (not his).
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Most definately over eager. He's only raised boys as well. First grand baby. Maybe a discussion explaining what appropriate is in order. BOUNDARIES! Key word for dealing with In laws right? bah
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I agree.
Quoting sleepymommy87:
That sounds incredibly creepy and he would never be touching my daughter for any reason.
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How about letting him feed her dinner since she is at the table food age? She could sit in his lap or right by him at the table so he can help take care of her but not cross other boundaries.
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Aside from the sexy crap I would say over eager grandpa with a little grand daughter (especially since he only had boys) ... The sexy comments and running around naked stuff though.... Makes me feel dirty.
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Well, i have to get to her quick enough If i plan on feeding her. While She has her plate of food he picks at his plate and feeds her stuff leaving the plate in front of her untouched. I mean, with everything he feels a strong need to do everything that I would normally do. Even feeding her. That'as definately the over excited grandpa that misses having his kids as babies. They just clash with me. He and his wife also forget to refer to each other as grandma and grandpa. She'll hand my daughter to my FIL and say "Here go by daddy" and MIL will chase my baby going "mama's going to get you". I corrected this numerous times which leads to eyerolling. Because of course I'm the weird one. On her Birthday i was feeding her carrots and hot dogs and she sat on the other side and fed her at the same time I was. Our hands would even hit and she'd go "oh woops! You go first". It's overwhelming and I can't stand having them around. To say the least. lol I'm so glad I'm the only one that would be uncomfortable. They and my husband make me feel irrational all the time.
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Why wait for your hub to say something? Tell FIL that you want him to use more age appropriate language and to follow your lead with the baby.