Advice for Moms
During summer vacation my kids are required to help by doing more chores, but while they are in school it's just the basics. We only ask that they take care of their own hygiene, pick up after themselves be responsible for their own stuff (which can be a lot of things) and clean their room(s). It's more important to us that they do well in school and enjoy their extracurriculars, but the things we ask for are non-negotiable.
Apparently my oldest dd thinks I am asking too much of her. She has been giving me a hard time about doing anything lately so I asked her about it last night. She said, "I feel like I'm always working and never get to do anything fun. Why can't you just do it for me?" The only thing I said was that I'm sorry she feels that way and that me doing it for her was not going to happen. So I'm thinking she is going to learn what work is. Her 7 yr. old brother does more without me asking or reminding him and hardly ever gives me a hard time. Maybe it's a gender thing or and age thing? Idk She kind of surprised me. I guess I shouldn't be since she's 9 going on 'I know it all'.
Replies
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When asked "why can't you do it for me?", I reply " because you can't aford to pay me enough to be your maid".
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I made that mistake ONCE my mother had me spend my weekend scrubbing floors with a toothbrush and washing the walls and baseboards. -
That's a good one...lol. She's been getting a lot of "You don't have to like it, you just have to do it." lately. Honestly, I was too flabberghasted and mad to respond more than I did. In my head I was thinking WTF?! She really wants me to brush her hair and teeth?! She wants me to treat her like a 2 yr old?
Quoting nuts4scouts:
When asked "why can't you do it for me?", I reply " because you can't aford to pay me enough to be your maid".
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If she gives you attitude, she loses a privilege and still has to do the chore. That's what my mother would have done. Every times she talks back, she loses a day of Internet or tv (whatever she cares about.) that should nip it in the bud. -
My oldest DD (she will be 9 in July) is the same way. I even went as far as to let her pick what 3 chores she wanted to do. Now she says she doesn't want those chores that she wants different ones. There are not very many more on the list for her to choose from. I think it's the age & hope it passes very soon. Good luck. -
I'm trying to figure out something good for her right now. :-)
Quoting GhettoKoolAide:
I made that mistake ONCE my mother had me spend my weekend scrubbing floors with a toothbrush and washing the walls and baseboards. -
My mom was creative with punishment, I was stubborn kid! Good luck!!
Quoting tihone77:
I'm trying to figure out something good for her right now. :-)
Quoting GhettoKoolAide:
I made that mistake ONCE my mother had me spend my weekend scrubbing floors with a toothbrush and washing the walls and baseboards.
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The loss of a privilege would be a hard one. The only thing she really seems to care about is reading and I would hate to take that away from her. She enjoys video games and TV, but wouldn't deter her. I'll figure something out.
Quoting N_maricle:
If she gives you attitude, she loses a privilege and still has to do the chore. That's what my mother would have done. Every times she talks back, she loses a day of Internet or tv (whatever she cares about.) that should nip it in the bud. -
I learned the hard way that (at least for my dd) the more choices I give her when it comes to work, the worse it is. Somehow in her brain because she had a choice in what work she did then she could also question everything about it. Idk...all I know is that I really am not looking forward to her teen years. She and I have always bumped heads. I hope you find something that works for you.
Quoting pnut1027:
My oldest DD (she will be 9 in July) is the same way. I even went as far as to let her pick what 3 chores she wanted to do. Now she says she doesn't want those chores that she wants different ones. There are not very many more on the list for her to choose from. I think it's the age & hope it passes very soon. Good luck. -
My kids have about half an hour of chores each day, and that isn't including their personal responsibilities like cleaning up their things and cleaning their rooms. They go to school, are in lots of extra curriculars, do their chores, and still manage to have plenty of time to hang out with their friends and be kids. As long as shes not dragging her feet about it, theres no reason why cleaning up her own things should interfere with her having fun everyday. I would give her more chores and show her what work really is. Tell her you are not her maid, you will not clean up her messes that she made.