Advice for Moms

karies2kids
troubled 14 year old daughter-> Really need advise****
December 30, 2012 at 4:13 PM

so..where to begin.  I have been a single mom for all of her life and I have done the best that I can do doing it alone.  My daughter has always been defiant and very bull headed but when she turned 13 shit hit the fan.  she is rude, disrespectful, argumentative, violent.. I had the cops at my house a year ago because she was hitting me and then again this year I had to call crisis intervention and had two counselors at my house the same day because I discovered she was cutting.  The cutting she claims is because she has been bullied at school, which I thought I had dealt with but the school was not helpful so she is not home schooled...this isn't working either, now she isn't doing her online school work and is failing most of her classes...I found an article on ODD (oppositional deficiency disorder)  it fit her to a "T"...  Im at a loss for what to do for her...Im scared for her...I looked into boarding schools for her but those are way beyond what I can afford.  Oh and by the way, I did have her to a counselor but she wont go back and I cant drag a 14 year old to an appointment.  I just need advise or at least someone who has gone through this or similar situations...what did you do?  How do you help a teenager who wont help themselves?  

Replies

  • terpmama
    December 30, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    Strip her privileges and room... Do boot camp yourself 

  • AM-BRAT
    by AM-BRAT
    December 30, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    How scary and frustrating. Until I saw irl Idk what I'd do.  :(

    When I think of my dd and really butting heads and wondering about future scenarios we take a breather together. I wonder if there's a way you can just stop the world and take her somewhere? The two of you alone and have a bonding session. Somewhere the world doesn't matter and you can talk and make some new  boundaries and such.

    I just don't know what I'd do.

  • crwspringer
    December 30, 2012 at 4:21 PM
    Does your police dept, park district, hospital or school district have a scared straight program?
  • karies2kids
    December 30, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    She has nothing but a bed in her room as it is.  well...and clothing in the closet.  she stripped that herself, I took the door off, and she has hardly any desire to do or do anything...its very sad.  Its very scarey and I dont want to live in a war zone..I have another child here...

  • karies2kids
    December 30, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    when the police were here they never said anything about having that type of program.  I will have to look into that.

  • cadkins07
    December 30, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    my sister is the same way, i know it sounds harsh but because she was cutting my step mom had her admitted into a hospital for over a week and she out ready to except the fact she needed help, its been an uphill battle but my sister is a lot better right now

  • PerfectVirgo
    December 30, 2012 at 4:23 PM
    My aunt gave my cousin over to the state for incorrigibility. They put her in a trade school to get her GED.
  • pinkjimmies06
    December 30, 2012 at 4:23 PM
    Try another counselor.

    ETA she may need a psychiatrist or anti depressants til she can sort her personal anguish out.
  • karies2kids
    December 30, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    My heart just breaks for her.  Good idea though...maybe I could get her away alone somewhere for a weekend...  I just want her to open up and tell me what the root of the problem is..

  • karies2kids
    December 30, 2012 at 4:25 PM

    I cant get her to go...I have had to cancel multiple appt's.  

Advice for Moms