Advice for Moms

mommie510
kids fighting like crazy
December 29, 2012 at 10:51 PM

Oh my word.  My kids are fighting like crazy now.  I mean over everything.  It is driving me crazy.  I took them for a bike ride to a park, packed some snacks and drinks.  They played great seperate but when they got near each other all heck broke loose.  I am feeling like a horrible person.  What can I do to help my kids get along better.  I know they will argue and fight but I did not think it would be this bad.  my son is 8 and my daughter is 4.  He has friends in the neighborhood she doesn't.  I try to spend time with her along with keeping up with the house and taking on the extra things that hubby wants me to do.  (ie Lawn care, truck maintance, and maintaining the house other than cleaning)  I am overwhelmed.  am I over reacting.  I try to make things even for both kids..I tried talking to them but when my patience is about gone I put them both in time-out until I get a grip.  Please help.  thanks


Replies

  • Bleacheddecay
    December 29, 2012 at 10:57 PM

    What I did with my kids was sit them down for a family meet at which we mapped out family rules and consequences.

    Also, if they didn't get along they both lost privileges, had to go in time out. had to do more chores and so on.

    I sometimes had one teach the other something or had them play a game together each week.

    Arguing was not okay. Physically fighting was even more not okay.

    You should know that school makes kids competitive and to dismiss anyone not in their peer group. At home you really have to fight these things.

  • newyorkmom92
    December 29, 2012 at 11:53 PM
    Take out the belt. Lol nah im joking....... My kids are the same age apart and all they do it fight. Boy 4 girl 1. Shes always pulling hes afro and hes always taking her barbi dolls. I would sit along there side and teach them how to be nice. Thats what i do.
  • LoveMyLos
    December 29, 2012 at 11:57 PM

    1. make your dh do some of that stuff. hes not helpless. 

    and i have no idea how to get them to stop fighting. my kids ae 2 and 7 and are horrid together. 

  • snowiscold
    December 30, 2012 at 12:08 AM

    I don't think you're overreacting at all.  It's still the holiday season and thus their schedules are disrupted.  I'm assuming your 8 year old will be back in school soon.  Also, don't try to make things "even" with the kids.  Just do what your instincts tell you to do.  It will all work out in the end.  Concerning the extras your husband wants you to do, tell him you are overwhelmed and that you'll get to them when you can.  Take a deep breath and don't stress. 

  • AM-BRAT
    by AM-BRAT
    December 30, 2012 at 2:00 AM
    I'm pretty fortunate my girls enjoy their time together.

    When there's problems I tell them to be together or be apart. I hate the freakin noise.

  • heidi749
    December 30, 2012 at 6:56 AM

    This, 

     Can your DH not do these extra's he is asking you to do? 


    Quoting snowiscold:

    I don't think you're overreacting at all.  It's still the holiday season and thus their schedules are disrupted.  I'm assuming your 8 year old will be back in school soon.  Also, don't try to make things "even" with the kids.  Just do what your instincts tell you to do.  It will all work out in the end.  Concerning the extras your husband wants you to do, tell him you are overwhelmed and that you'll get to them when you can.  Take a deep breath and don't stress. 


  • hollydaze1974
    December 30, 2012 at 7:34 AM
    Well, they need time away from each other, too it sounds like. Do you have a MOPS in your area, playgroup for preschoolers? It would be a way to make friends for her.
    Also, we're in break...,that much sibling time can be well JUST too much, i'm afraid.

    My 13 yr old and two and a half yr old get along really well, partially because tot knows he has to be invited into big bros. room, and sometimes a knock doesn't get entry.

    And my 13 yr old does meet tot on his play level. ( yes, two boys are different that one of each, I get that)

    I can only offer the solution my aunt ( with four children) did. She'd pick a movie that they all liked and if two were fighting, they were separated from the tv but knew what was playing. They had to sit in chairs facing each other and could not go watch the movie they could hear until they apologized to each other, SINCERELY and seal it with a hug. Whethet it was the seven and three or both the youngest. My cousin said it worked well she said be like
    " Come on, Jack! Pleeeease let's make up! The Lion King is on and we are missing it!" Lol

    Good Luck, i'm sorry i'm not much help!

    Growing up an " only" and my children being the same gender, I can only offer those paltry suggestions.
  • mommie510
    December 30, 2012 at 11:28 AM
    The older he gets the more he wants just to sit and do nothing. He says his work is too much but refuses to look for another job. If he is out of creamer in the fridge he tells. Will not check the other fridge for the extra. He refuses to do anything extra. You would be asking too much of him.
  • Lindalou907
    December 30, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    How old is he? Is his job physical?

    Quoting mommie510:

    The older he gets the more he wants just to sit and do nothing. He says his work is too much but refuses to look for another job. If he is out of creamer in the fridge he tells. Will not check the other fridge for the extra. He refuses to do anything extra. You would be asking too much of him.


  • heidi749
    December 30, 2012 at 12:37 PM

    I am sorry, your DH just sounds very selfish IMO, in less he is past retirement age, and still working while having severe physical pain, there is no dame reason he should be like that.

    My goodness my SO works 20hr days sometimes, come winter, cause you can not control the snow, he still takes care of that kind of stuff and makes time for our son.

     To me, it is like you have 2 children, plus a grown man that wants to be mothered to take care of, not just 2 children. Your children may be feeling your stress as well, and acting out a bit because of it, children are allot more preceptive of things then we sometimes give them credit for.

      It is not fair for one person to put in 20% and the other put 80%, when it comes to a relationship. 

     Good Luck

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