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December 8, 2012 at 6:14 PM

My brother in law and his wife are a pain in my rear end.  We thought moving to where we live now would make him closer to his brother and it has been the complete opposite.  One thing that he has recently done is this:  Our five year old is pretty much nonverbal.  They have an almost two year old...and all he does when we go around is brag about how much their 2 year old talks more than our five year old.  Our son has special needs (autism, rare chromosome disorder, etc.)  I try to brush it off, but here is where the post is going...

Their kids birthdays are in January and April, ours are in June and December

We bought both of their kids Christmas presents and birthday presents this past year.  They didn't call or acknowledge at all our oldest son's birthday at all, nor our youngest...although his was just this past Thursday and we haven't seen them since...I know money shouldn't be an issue or presents shouldn't be an issue, but they also didn't get our kids Christmas presents last year.  Should I stress about getting their kids a birthday and Christmas present this year, or just give up on trying to make peace between us?  

He is really rude to me and makes smart a@@ remarks to me all the time.  I will be really happy when we move away from them (as bad as that sounds)

Thanks for any advice :)


  • frndlyfn
    December 8, 2012 at 6:30 PM

    I would just tell the children happy birthday and that is it.   At this time I would cut off all contact with him if possible since he doesnt add anything positive to your children's lives.  My mom's siblings never got us any presents growing up that i can recall.

  • elzmnsf
    by elzmnsf
    December 8, 2012 at 6:52 PM
    He sounds like a jerk. I'd just not go around him very often. I can't recall ever getting a bday gift from an aunt or uncle. As for Christmas, when we had family gatherings people only bought for the kids under a certain age (10 I think) . There were just too many cousins to buy for everyone, and gifts aren't the point anyhow.
  • GatorLady0307
    December 8, 2012 at 6:53 PM

    Yeah so far their kids are 2 and 4 so I always felt like we needed to buy for them...but after this past year, with him being a jerk with my husband being deployed and talking bad about my special needs son, I could care less.  Unfortunately, his kids are going to grow up and be as jerky as he is :(

  • mamakin616
    December 8, 2012 at 7:00 PM

    I wouldn't buy presents for any body or thier kids that don't do the same for my kids.Birthday or Christmas... I would also have a very hard time keeping my mouth closed when someone made snide remarks about a child with a learning disability.People like that need to be called out and treated like the ignorant ass that they act like.I would say something  to him to make him feel like an   I 'm sure he rates on the genious level...just look at how intelligent you are.

  • GatorLady0307
    December 8, 2012 at 7:18 PM

    Yeah I have a hard time coming up with stuff on the spot.  Keep em coming and I will be sure to use them :)  I recently said that Albert Einstein may have had autism...and he came back with "he ain't going to be no Einstein."  I left...I couldn't take it anymore :(

  • CoeyG
    by CoeyG
    December 8, 2012 at 7:43 PM

    Who did you marry your husband or your brother in law?  Time to grow up and get over yourself.  Okay he bragss about his son.  So what?  Okay he is a smart ass so what?  Do you give his kids birthday presents just in order to obligate them to get your's gifts?  If you don't like purchasing gifts for their kids then don't do it.  Don't blame your brother in law for the choices that you make. 

  • GatorLady0307
    December 8, 2012 at 8:08 PM
    No my husband told me to buy presents for his nephews...which I had no problem doing...I just didnt want to look bad for not getting them gifts this year because we used to exchange gifts on Christmas Eve
  • CoeyG
    by CoeyG
    December 8, 2012 at 8:25 PM

    Quoting GatorLady0307:

    No my husband told me to buy presents for his nephews...which I had no problem doing...I just didnt want to look bad for not getting them gifts this year because we used to exchange gifts on Christmas Eve

    Tell your husband that if he wants to get them presents then he should go buy them. 

    I used to go all out in searching for gifts for my sister's girls.  Always looking for something fun and unique. amd sje a;waus sent some cheesey dollar store item (literall I would go into dollar store and find the items she sent my daughter).  I just stopped sending the gifts. 

  • Malley
    by Malley
    December 8, 2012 at 10:58 PM
    My 5 year old has a rare chromosomal disorder too and has severe speech issues. I don't have trouble with family, but I have had to deal with people I thought were my friends being unkind about my son. I try to avoid them if possible and to keep in mind that they are the one with a problem.
  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    December 8, 2012 at 11:40 PM

    I guess I'd still give the children presents, but avoid the parents.

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