Advice for Moms

katielawlor
so freaking frustrated!!!
December 4, 2012 at 10:34 AM

Ok so last september my dad came to live with my husband and I. When he moved in with us he said he would help us out a little bit with whatever (like groceries) since he's living here for free. Well since he moved in (idk how he does it) but I've NEVER seen anyone drink a whole gallon of milk in one day! But he does...DAILY! Well anyways since he moved in he hasnt helped with anything, all he does is lay around making messes and eating up all the food. And every month when he gets his check he leaves and goes to my sisters house until he's broke then he comes back home. My sister and my dad have both told me he has given her money to help with her bills and bought her groceries....like did he forget which daughter is taking care of him? What do I do? I need to talk to him about helping us out but every time i try he turns it around and tries to make me feel like im the one taking advantage of him. And my husband is starting to get really pissed because he sees how my dad treats me with a complete lack of respect, and for my house as well!  

 So how do I approach this conversation with him without him being so defensive and trying to make it out to where i'm the bad guy?

Replies

  • saraewhite
    December 4, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    Just be honost with him with how you are feeling. Let him know how all of this is making you feel. It is a very tricky situation but he is taking advantage of you and your kindness and it needs to be brought out into the open. If things don't change then maybe he should go live with your sister. The last thing you want is this problem to strain your relationship with your husband. Good luck!

  • frndlyfn
    December 4, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    Set up a family contract for your household so that everyone knows what is expected amongst the adults.  He needs to be contributing somehow or he can live with his other daughter permanently.

  • savingtheworld
    December 4, 2012 at 11:05 AM
    Good grief! Sorry he's a grown man! He's your dad, therefore the adult! He is not your problem! There will b a time u need to take care of your dad, but the time is not now!

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