Advice for Moms

ballerossandra
help with dealing with daycare provider
November 30, 2012 at 11:59 PM

I took care of my son for his first 14 months and then he started daycare.He has completed 7 weeks so far and he is very well adjusted.

So yes, separation anxiety is my issue, not my lo's.

today after I picked him up from daycare, I noticed that he had the pink eye so I texted his daycare provider to let her know that I thought he had the pink eye.

She texted me back right away.First she said she didnt notice anything strange and then she said that she couldnt handle my demands and that I needed to look for a different provider.Yes you may wonder how we jump from reporting pink eye to her to being asked to look for a different daycare.

Well she texted me asking if she could call me. So over the phone, it was eaiser to make herself understood.

She said she feels that she is checked on everything she does as I have asked questions such as :

1.how was my lo dressed during the day? (I asked that this week when the temperature dropped to 60 and he was in a t-shirt).

2. do you know why his dirty clothes were soaking wet? (she said my lo was drinking water from a sippy cup and someone oushed him and he got wet.It easnt just wet.It looked like an entire cup fell on him> so I told her if she wanted a different sippy cup.)

3, when was the last time he ate? (she does not post the meal times and I was just trying to figure out when his next meal needed to be as it was a day I had picked him up later than usual)

So when I ask questions, I dont do is in a mean way but just to know and to offer a solution,Just like with the sippy cup and all I was trying to do was to see if she wanted me to take a sippy as she has been providing one for me lo.

I believe we have cleared the problems after our phone talk and I dio understand it is an adjustment for me.so please send me suggestions or encouragement.,I do see that my lo is happy there but do I just have to shut up and accept the fact that i dont see what goes on for 7 hours every day??

I want to clarify that i wasnt complaining about my lo getting the pink eye.I was just informing her

we ended up our conversation stating that we both feel comfortable with my son continuing there but I do need experienced mom's support

help!!!

update to answer some of your questions:

menu:

she does not give parents a sample menu like some daycares.she has a bulletin board where she posts pictures of the food they will eat.

schedule:

no schedule is posted

daily report:

my son has spent the past week of october there and the month of november and i have received 3 sheets with a daily report.one time she gave me one as my son had a fever so it was detailed.she gives a quick verbal report when i go to pivk him up but is not as detailed as the paper reports.she basically says: he slept well, ate well and had a good day.

general questions:

it is a home daycare and she is licensed to have 14 kids.she has 12 and one assistant.the assistasnt works hard.she has a lot of accreditations including national.so she has credit unions under her belt.she was probably having a bad day and i might start looking for another provider but what i am also getting from many mothers is that they all have something we do not like and you just have to deal with the one that you can tollerate more...i guess

also, i want to say that i feel that daycare provider should realize that my lo spends 9 hours there and by the time i pick him up, i only have 3 hours to spend with him before he goes to bed.in 3 hours, i can't tell if he is having regular bms, if he id well, etc etc..she has a lot of moms that take kids for a shorter period

Replies

  • Mommytolas
    December 4, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    I have worked in daycare in an infant room on and off (in between my own kids) for ten years. First not only are your questions not out of line but its ridiculous that you have to ask! You should have a detailed paper sent home everyday. Here in Florida it is a DCF requirement. And anything major like his clothes being soaked should have been explained to you both on paper and in person. You know better than anyone how the teacher is with him but personally I would be looking for a new provider.

  • victoriahearts
    December 4, 2012 at 12:29 PM

    So there is only two people for a 14 kids? I thought the ratio had to be 4 to 1 ? Or maybe that is just where we live, I orginally  tried day care shortly after my son turned one year old so get him to interact with other children and although I choose the best one I could find, set schedule for all the kids, activities planned out for the month, camera installed so the parents could check in on there little ones for comfort, they were great, welcomed my questions, always answered concerned, they keep me well informed and so on but my son never took to the environment and we ended up going back to our nanny. I would personally be concerned, it seem like she overreacted to a simple text of you informing her, like she got defensive for no real reason. Questions and concerns from parents are routine so she should know how to handle it, are there other day cares you can look into?

  • LuvMyBrennaBean
    December 4, 2012 at 12:31 PM

    Reading your updates, I don't believe she is complying with regulations. Even the most basic regulations require schedules, daily reports, etc. 

  • stephanieannmom
    February 8, 2013 at 8:29 AM

    I am not sure if a live in au pair is in your budget,  but there are a lot of benefits for you more than a day care or in home.  first child to caregiver ratio is just for your kids!  Second, they do what you want, when you want, on your terms!  Third, the cost is fixed no matter how many chidlren you have (so it become more afforable the more kids you have sine the price does not change).  Last, you get tax incentives and write offs at the end of the year since this is a tax deductible childcare expense. One more last, there are prescreened, background checked, medical checked and are here legally on J-1 visas!  Please email me with any questions at all!  The cost is $8/hr or $355 per week.  This is not for everyone, but people who just dont like what there are currently doing with at homes or day cares or have multiple kids, this could be an option!

  • stephanieannmom
    February 8, 2013 at 8:31 AM


     am not sure if a live in au pair is in your budget,  but there are a lot of benefits for you more than a day care or in home.  first child to caregiver ratio is just for your kids!  Second, they do what you want, when you want, on your terms!  Third, the cost is fixed no matter how many chidlren you have (so it become more afforable the more kids you have sine the price does not change).  Last, you get tax incentives and write offs at the end of the year since this is a tax deductible childcare expense. One more last, there are prescreened, background checked, medical checked and are here legally on J-1 visas!  Please email me with any questions at all!  The cost is $8/hr or $355 per week.  This is not for everyone, but people who just dont like what there are currently doing with at homes or day cares or have multiple kids, this could be an option!

     

     


    Quoting ballerossandra:

    I took care of my son for his first 14 months and then he started daycare.He has completed 7 weeks so far and he is very well adjusted.

    So yes, separation anxiety is my issue, not my lo's.

    today after I picked him up from daycare, I noticed that he had the pink eye so I texted his daycare provider to let her know that I thought he had the pink eye.

    She texted me back right away.First she said she didnt notice anything strange and then she said that she couldnt handle my demands and that I needed to look for a different provider.Yes you may wonder how we jump from reporting pink eye to her to being asked to look for a different daycare.

    Well she texted me asking if she could call me. So over the phone, it was eaiser to make herself understood.

    She said she feels that she is checked on everything she does as I have asked questions such as :

    1.how was my lo dressed during the day? (I asked that this week when the temperature dropped to 60 and he was in a t-shirt).

    2. do you know why his dirty clothes were soaking wet? (she said my lo was drinking water from a sippy cup and someone oushed him and he got wet.It easnt just wet.It looked like an entire cup fell on him> so I told her if she wanted a different sippy cup.)

    3, when was the last time he ate? (she does not post the meal times and I was just trying to figure out when his next meal needed to be as it was a day I had picked him up later than usual)

    So when I ask questions, I dont do is in a mean way but just to know and to offer a solution,Just like with the sippy cup and all I was trying to do was to see if she wanted me to take a sippy as she has been providing one for me lo.

    I believe we have cleared the problems after our phone talk and I dio understand it is an adjustment for me.so please send me suggestions or encouragement.,I do see that my lo is happy there but do I just have to shut up and accept the fact that i dont see what goes on for 7 hours every day??

    I want to clarify that i wasnt complaining about my lo getting the pink eye.I was just informing her

    we ended up our conversation stating that we both feel comfortable with my son continuing there but I do need experienced mom's support

    help!!!

    update to answer some of your questions:

    menu:

    she does not give parents a sample menu like some daycares.she has a bulletin board where she posts pictures of the food they will eat.

    schedule:

    no schedule is posted

    daily report:

    my son has spent the past week of october there and the month of november and i have received 3 sheets with a daily report.one time she gave me one as my son had a fever so it was detailed.she gives a quick verbal report when i go to pivk him up but is not as detailed as the paper reports.she basically says: he slept well, ate well and had a good day.

    general questions:

    it is a home daycare and she is licensed to have 14 kids.she has 12 and one assistant.the assistasnt works hard.she has a lot of accreditations including national.so she has credit unions under her belt.she was probably having a bad day and i might start looking for another provider but what i am also getting from many mothers is that they all have something we do not like and you just have to deal with the one that you can tollerate more...i guess

    also, i want to say that i feel that daycare provider should realize that my lo spends 9 hours there and by the time i pick him up, i only have 3 hours to spend with him before he goes to bed.in 3 hours, i can't tell if he is having regular bms, if he id well, etc etc..she has a lot of moms that take kids for a shorter period



  • erikadi
    by erikadi
    February 8, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    There are pros and cons of every provider, but I think that since you are paying the person you should at least feel comfortable that you are getting the care you need. I think you may need to look into a non-home setting. That way you can be assured of more structure for the most part.

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