Advice for Moms

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jcsmommy09
do you think its fair
November 13, 2012 at 9:28 PM

THAT MY SON'S FATHERS SIDE OF THE FAMILY THREATENS ME EVERY OTHER DAY TO TAKE CUSTODY OF MY SON BECAUSE I ALLOW MY FIANCEE'S FAMILY TO BE IN HIS LIFE??? AND TO TELL ME THAT IM A POS AND THAT MY FIANCEE WONT AMOUNT TO ANYTHING AND THAT HE WILL NEVER BE MY SONS FATHER YRS U KNOW MY SON ONLY HAS ONE FATHER BUT HE WAS MURDERED AND MY SON NEEDS A FATHER FIGURE IN HIS LIFE AND WILL ALWAYS KNOW WHO IS DAD IS... OHH AND NOT TO MINCION MY FIANCEE IS 22 AND OWNS HIS OWN BUSSINESS AND IS THE CO OWNER OF ANOTHER ONE 

Replies

  • jcsmommy09
    November 13, 2012 at 10:10 PM

    I understand what you mean ive asked them not to tell my son in detail about what happened to his dad since he is only 2 almost 3 and they did and showed him crime secne pictures... My son was also 14 months when he lost his father 

    Quoting robyann:

     There are dealing with the death of their son/brother. They feel the need to make sure his child is taken care of they way they think he should be. It's hard for them, but he is your son, you have to take care of him, and if they continue to act like this around him, it would be in his best interest to not be around them so much.

    My oldest dd's father died when she was 14 months old. There were issues with his family after, they also said they wanted to take her from me, not because I wasn't treating her right, but in a weird attempt to get their son/brother back. Sadly, I had to withdraw from them for a few years. It was just too much for everyone involved and I had to think of my dd's best interest. I mean of course she would need her grandparents and aunts and uncles but not if they were always talking about her father and not thinking about what was best for her. Just always talking how he wouldn't want things this way or that way. After I pulled away they would see us maybe once a year, eventually when I was getting remarried they asked me if she was calling him daddy, and she was, she was 4 by then, and she was 14 months when her father died. She didn't remember him, but I had always told her about him, so she knew of him, but she just didn't have that connection. She was close to my new dh, and he loved her and he was a dad to her. They didnt' like this but it was what was best for her, so I withdrew again. They didn't have much to do with her her whole life, now she's grown and they have contacted her but she's not real interested in seeing them.

    I'm sorry that your child has lost their father, but you have to move on and you have to make a life here for your child. It may hurt his family,but your main concern is your child .GL


  • robyann
    by robyann
    November 13, 2012 at 10:17 PM

     and other people may see it as mean to remove him from that family. but noone knows who hasn't been there. they are just over come with grief still and are not even thinking of what's best for your son, they are only thinking of what they think would be best for their own son/brother, what they think he would want, even if they beat his memory into your son, he is not really going to know him, not like a real father, he won't have that bond, it's just not going to happen, and his family are trying to force that, but it isn't possible. you have to give your son a "father" that he can relate too, he needs to know love from a "father". I'm sorry but I do think you have to pull away from them for your son, of course they won't understand but that's ok they don't need to.....your son is #1 to you. GL  

    If you want to talk I can relate sent me a pm, my dd is now 30 years old.

    Quoting jcsmommy09:

    I understand what you mean ive asked them not to tell my son in detail about what happened to his dad since he is only 2 almost 3 and they did and showed him crime secne pictures... My son was also 14 months when he lost his father 

    Quoting robyann:

     There are dealing with the death of their son/brother. They feel the need to make sure his child is taken care of they way they think he should be. It's hard for them, but he is your son, you have to take care of him, and if they continue to act like this around him, it would be in his best interest to not be around them so much.

    My oldest dd's father died when she was 14 months old. There were issues with his family after, they also said they wanted to take her from me, not because I wasn't treating her right, but in a weird attempt to get their son/brother back. Sadly, I had to withdraw from them for a few years. It was just too much for everyone involved and I had to think of my dd's best interest. I mean of course she would need her grandparents and aunts and uncles but not if they were always talking about her father and not thinking about what was best for her. Just always talking how he wouldn't want things this way or that way. After I pulled away they would see us maybe once a year, eventually when I was getting remarried they asked me if she was calling him daddy, and she was, she was 4 by then, and she was 14 months when her father died. She didn't remember him, but I had always told her about him, so she knew of him, but she just didn't have that connection. She was close to my new dh, and he loved her and he was a dad to her. They didnt' like this but it was what was best for her, so I withdrew again. They didn't have much to do with her her whole life, now she's grown and they have contacted her but she's not real interested in seeing them.

    I'm sorry that your child has lost their father, but you have to move on and you have to make a life here for your child. It may hurt his family,but your main concern is your child .GL

     

     

  • CoeyG
    by CoeyG
    November 13, 2012 at 10:48 PM


    Quoting frndlyfn:

    first of all do not yell in a forum..... second of all.  They have no legal grounds to get custody of your child.  I would talk to a family lawyer to double check that though.  Then tell them if they continue to be hostile, you will take away any visits.   Most grandparents laws pertain to if the parents are divorced and witholding visits.

    Exactly, makes it hard to read.

    As long as they have no legal grounds to take the child from you ignore them.  Let them say and do whatever they want, you can talk to a lawyer about getting them to stop, their harassment is against the law.  

  • jcsmommy09
    November 18, 2012 at 4:52 AM

    ugh they had the county i live in serve me with papers friday... 

  • AtillaTheHun
    November 18, 2012 at 4:59 AM

    Really?!

  • jcsmommy09
    November 18, 2012 at 5:05 AM

    yes

  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    November 18, 2012 at 5:12 AM

    Oh no! :(

    Quoting jcsmommy09:

    ugh they had the county i live in serve me with papers friday... 


  • navewife
    November 18, 2012 at 8:35 AM
    You live life as you please.....as long as your providing a safe and good environment for your son there is nothing they can do......find out if your state allows grandparents rights...if they dont then they dont have a leg to stand on unless they can prove you to be unfit.

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