Okay. So I feel like my husband and I have had our kids way to close! We origanally wanted 3 kids, 3 years apart each. Well, we are currently pregnant with twins... I'm not sure how our other kids are handling this pregnancy. Rylan(8) seems to be doing the best, he is excited to have another brother and sister. Gaven(6) is starting to be really clingy onto me! Avery(3) she is starting not to sleep in her room because "I don't want to miss the babies being born momma!" And Skylie(18 months) started peeing her pants all over again. We are back to pull ups! All of this started when the kids found out I was expecting twins! I am so overwhelmed with stress. Any advice on how I can get my kids to accept the new babies? Not only that but keep them in their same routine one the babies get here?! We only have 14 weeks left!
Any way you can hire some help with all the housework and shopping and cooking so you can just concentrate on the children? One thing I learned is to tell the older kids how much the babies watch them and like them,say things like "see how they are looking at you? Wow,they really like you!" I had one doctor explain to me that bringing home new kids is to your toddlers as you would feel if your husband brought home a new wife,just give them lots of attention :)
I would continue to support them and listen to their feelings. Explain to the 3 yr old that you will wake her up if you think the babies are on their way during the night. The 18 month old it is natural to regress in potty training especially with a big change coming. Did they show an interest in potty or are you trying to get them out of diapers ASAP so that you only have 2 bottoms to change?
It's probably not that they found out, it's more likely that you're radiating stress, and they're responding to that.
Of course having twins is stressful... but you need to learn to manage your stress more effectively, because you need to know how to manage your stress more effectively. And, it will help your kids, too.
by smallfry3280October 12, 2012 at 10:57 AM
my dd was 2 when my ds was born( he is 5 months now). i talked to dd about it from the moment we knew i was preg. i told her she was gonna be a big sister- we picked a name early on so that she could get used to the name- i would say stuff like "when jesse comes you are gonna have to help mommy do...." and "are you gonna teach baby jesse to talk? or are you gonna play with baby jesse" and she really had no adjustment issues at all. we were so lucky she loves him she wants to help she asks to hold him
As you very well know now, we can plan all we want but sometimes there are other plans for us.
When I got pregnant with our twins we already had two kids, so, we went from two to four over night. Then we had one more after the twins, that's a total of five.
The child that will probably have the hardest time adjusting is the 18 month old. You said she went back to peeing her pants, how on God's green earth did you get a 18 month old to use the potty? That I need you to teach me. Anyway, it's totally common for a potty trained child to regress when mom is expecting. She's letting you know in her own way, Hello I'm still here.
As far as them accepting the new babies , plan ahead and get lots of help when the twins come so that you have time to spend with the others. I know your a well seasoned mom but twins are a whole other ball game. Also, keep in mind that the last few weeks you might have to stay on bed rest which would require you to possibly hire someone to help you with the house and other children. ( that happened to me ).
And please don't assume you have 14 weeks left, many twins are born early and require a stay at the hospital. We were luckey that our boys made it to 37 wks and weighed in at 7 pounds each, but that is not the case all the time.
About keeping them on the same routine, it all comes down to how well organized you are and how much help you have. You are only one person and if it's all on you I don't know how you're going to keep the same routine. Don't set crazy high expectations that then you're going to feel poorly about if you can't meet them.
I nursed my boys for 9 months and I'm glad I was able to do it for many reasons. Even though it required me to sit down and nurse for an hour at every feeding, I didn't have to deal with bottles or nipples or buying a ton of formula. If anyone tells you that you can not produce enough milk for two babies, it's not true. Not only did I nurse them I was pumping for my sister who had a baby that would not tolerate any formula she would buy him. And she couldn't nurse.
Good luck mom...... One more thing, once they get older it's really cool to see the bond they will have, it's amazing.
by robyannOctober 12, 2012 at 2:44 PM
it is normal for them to be excited and to also regress alittle. Just be consistant, and expect thing to not be normal until after you have the babies and about 6 months after that, lol...just don't stress about it, relax, enjoy all your babies these are the days you will look back on and wish you had let more stuff go and spent more time just loving your babies.
by kirbymomOctober 12, 2012 at 5:25 PM
Oh My! Congratulations! :)
It is very normal what you are going through and what your children are going through. Always remember... the best laid plans of mice and men.... :) Things are going to change and stay the same, in so many ways. As long as you keep showing your kids that you love them just as they are, they will adjust to having new siblings. Now, hopefully you will have some help as you adjust to having a new schedule, learn to get some sleep, how to get back into a routine that fits the whole family. The other kids will need to be involved somewhat in some of the baby moments, so they feel like they are just as important to you and to the baby. There will be a period of an adjustment for everyone but after awhile, things will start to settle down. You just try and not stress too much and enjoy your family.
by AM-BRATOctober 12, 2012 at 5:48 PM
All of this sounds normal. Just be as consistant with them as you can, and give them some one on one time before the babies come if you can. Let them know you love them very much!
by qqhotplayOctober 13, 2012 at 3:10 AM
you def have your hands full. I hope you have a great support system