Advice for Moms

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Need a friend
October 10, 2012 at 8:18 PM

I feel so alone and so overwhelmed. My mom was my world and she passed away last year. Being a single mom I don't have a lot of free time to meet new friends.We moved to a small town almost a year ago and we are looked like outsiders. I have tried so many times to reach out and say hi and get to know people. I have joined meet ups but there are not that many that I am interested in. I go to all the school things for my youngest (5)and try to talk to parents but they quickly say things like it was nice to meet you and leave. But I am still alone. I have no moms to talk to. And I feel like an idiot making posts for 2nd opinions or to bounce off ideas to a message board. What can I do? My world is falling apart (lost my job 5 weeks ago, the doctors now thing I have Cushings disease, my chronic pain, the troubles of raising a teen and kindergardener by myself, money, etc). I am not close to m family. I am the black sheep since I was a teen mom and my parents had to help me more than my siblings. And because of the stress I caused my mom I don't get along with my aunts and uncles. I have tried numerous times. Its not that I drop my drama on people. I am strong. But I need to bounce ideas and get 2nd opinions at times. I am the last in my friends that is single and we all have grown so far apart because things just aren't the same as they used to be. I try to have faith. I used to go to church but with my son being adhd its is very hard as he cannot sit through a service. Any words of advise, encouragement, etc would be appreciated. Im trying to be strong. But there is just so much I cant handle it all.


  • Elyssa414
    October 10, 2012 at 8:21 PM
  • J3nn1f3rlynn
    October 10, 2012 at 9:10 PM
    Tough situation. But try to see if there are any free meetings for children. I know libraries do them in my area. It's a time for adults to meet and chat but also a time for kids to play. But otherwise I'm not sure why these other mothers are very receptive to your friendliness. I would just say stay positive and ask one of them to meet up at a park or something. Outdoors is great for you and kids!
  • love-my-tween
    October 10, 2012 at 11:23 PM

    Awww, I'm sorry about the loss of your mom.  That had to have been so difficult.  (((((Jennifer)))))

    Do you live in a neighborhood where you can walk?  Perhaps you and your children can walk for an hour each evening.  While getting excercise, you might meet some friendly people where you live.  If not, try a park that is nearby.  It is difficult to make friends these days.  My friends were always my co-workers and schoolmates.  However, when the jobs would end, so would the friendships.  When school ended, so did the friendships (of course I moved away though).  It seems like everyone wants "restricted" friendships nowaday.  I am an older mom, and so a lot of people think I'm my daughter's grandmother.  Talk about a slap in the face!  Of course, I am old enough to be her grandma, but just barely.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I empathise with you.  I hope you are able to join a club, a church, or some other group where you can meet and befriend others.  Best wishes to you. 

  • Jenniferz77
    October 11, 2012 at 9:22 AM


  • Jenniferz77
    October 11, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    I don't know why unless because it is a small town and everyone knows everyones business. This is the first time I have ever had to use state help. Its embarrassing. so maybe they have resentment to me to be using food stamps and when I go to the phymacy and get my kids prescriptions for free. Believe me I don't want to use it but I am forever greatful. I have worked so hard my entire life and at one point making 6 figures but these people don't know that. I think I am being judged for my situation. Its the only thing I can think of. Because this is a small town there are not any library things and the only outside playgroups are the sports in school. I just don't get it and hate being alone.

  • Jenniferz77
    October 11, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    I have a very bad back from a car accident in which I am only able to walk 2 blocks. So yes I am very friendly and say hi if someone is outside and try to start a conversation but I can tell they don't want to talk and cut the conversation short.

    Thanks everyone for the ideas.

  • deniumchick
    October 11, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    My heart goes out to you, Jennifer.  I first want to say that I am sorry about losing your mom last year.  I know how much it means to have that special relationship.  It sounds like you are dealing with a lot as a single mom and having a friend where you live would makes things a little easier.  It was good that you came here.

    I wish we could meet at a coffee shop and talk!  Just know that you are not alone in all of this.  Have you thought about contacting the organization, CHADD (Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder)?  You might want to check out their website.  Perhaps there is a support group for parents of ADHD/ADD children in your small town.  Just a thought...

    I will be praying! 


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