Advice for Moms

savingtheworld
do people still believe in marriage?
October 10, 2012 at 6:30 PM
Do u still believe in marriage? If so how do u keep your marriage going or how do you make it work? How long have you been married?

Replies

  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    October 10, 2012 at 7:59 PM

    42 years.  Yes I still believe in marriage.  I've talked to my husband within the last few months about this subject, since so many people have children who aren't married.  He firmly says that there is a commitment in marriage that there isn't otherwise.  A security. A sense of permanence.  I know that many marriages fail, and it saddens me when people I know break up when I thought they were happily married. But maybe the couple has changed for whatever reason- and if not, then probably their marriage was made unwisely.

  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    October 10, 2012 at 8:00 PM

    I am very sorry.  ((hugs))  You deserve better.

    Quoting Mommy_Jellybean:

    I believe in marriage but I am going to be divorced within the next 6 months. Long story, but he was unfaithful and abusive.

    I believe in a marriage like my grandparents have. Loving, honest, trusting, and faithful... I will have that someday.


  • AleaKat
    by AleaKat
    October 10, 2012 at 8:03 PM
    7 years. Yes I believe in it our I wouldn't be married.
    I don't necessarily believe in soul mates and there being that one true person for you . Don't get me wrong I love my husband more and more everyday but I feel like if I'd never met him I would have found someone else out there that could have made me happy.
  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    October 10, 2012 at 8:04 PM

    *nodding*   I do this.  When he walks in the door after work I stop whatever I am doing and give him a big hug and smile. And I comment from time to time on something he has done around the house to show him that he is noticed and appreciated. I laugh with him.  He is a good man. He has stayed by me through good times and bad...  how did our vows go.... plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.

    Quoting Thelmama:

    13 years yesterday. Key...communication and making sure you show love to him even in small ways DAILY.  


  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    October 10, 2012 at 8:07 PM

    I feel the same way.  The bliss part is wonderful, but bliss only lasts for a while before it settles into lasting love -or not.  Before we got married, my husband and I discussed issues that might come up-  relatives with illnesses that might need to be cared for,  financial matters,  raising children, religion,  importance of extended family,  And logically, it seemed that the marriage would work, and it has. But I can see that there could be others with similar beliefs also. I was lucky. :)

    Quoting AleaKat:

    7 years. Yes I believe in it our I wouldn't be married.
    I don't necessarily believe in soul mates and there being that one true person for you . Don't get me wrong I love my husband more and more everyday but I feel like if I'd never met him I would have found someone else out there that could have made me happy.


  • marchantmom06
    October 10, 2012 at 8:13 PM
    I concur. I don't always agree with marriage or the reason people get married but I do believe in my marriage and I believe in true love and honesty and faithfulness.


    Quoting AM-BRAT:

    Congrats!



    Op do I believe in marriage? I believe in mine. :)



    And agree with marchantmom.



    Communication snd sex are key for us. And teamwork. It's been 5 years married, 7 together.



    And started off not great lol. We're only going up.




    Quoting marchantmom06:

    Yes, communication, good sex, laughter, crying, honesty, we've been married 28 years.


  • Chellie13
    October 11, 2012 at 7:22 AM

    Well said!  Love is action not just a feeling <3

    Quoting 081499:

    Absolutely.  **Love is a decision. ** 

    Communication.  Showing love in the little things.  Sex.  Hugs and kisses.  Showing interest.  Giving space.  FORGIVING!!!!!!  Being friends.  Honesty.  Humor.  

    We've been married 13+ years.  :)

     


  • Chellie13
    October 11, 2012 at 7:29 AM

    I believe in marriage, although I did get divorced in the past due to his drug use/abuse (coccaine) and alcoholism.  Abuse cannot be tolerated, for the safety of me and our daughters I filed for divorce.  I am engaged now to a wonderful man who has the old fashioned sense of being together and marriage (and no addictions lol)  so I'm thinking this is definitely for-ever.  <3

  • beco8627
    October 11, 2012 at 7:30 AM
    I 100% believe in marriage...MY marriage. A few years ago, I made the decision in my heart that my husband and I will always be married, no matter what because any relationship can work if both partners are in 100% and want to work to keep it together. We have been together for 8 yrs and married for 5. We have had many ups and downs and have come close to calling it quits quite a few times...until I made that conscious devotion to keeping it together. We have had therapy, and I feel that now we are happier than ever. The key things to keep MY marriage working is open communication, compromise, trust, devotion, laughter, and intimacy. And the most important is that we keep it in the forefront of our minds why we fell in love in the first place
  • mylilgooberpea
    October 11, 2012 at 7:47 AM
    Quoting Mommy_Jellybean:

    I believe in marriageĀ but I am going to be divorced within the next 6 months. Long story, but he was unfaithful and abusive.

    I believe in a marriage like my grandparents have. Loving, honest, trusting, and faithful... I will have that someday.




    Same here, together 9 married 7 divorced this year. He left for a married friend. Right now marriage is ruined for me. Having the same values is importiant, same dreams and goals in life. Sometimes loving someone is a choice not the gooy, head over heals, movie, society tells you it has to be, in-love feeling. I love you but not in love I want a divorce is a weak excuse and a coverup. When its broken hard work is required from both sides to fix it. Maybe someday ill have someone.... But im sure its going to be a long time before ill find someone who is ok with having a single mother, body not perfect due to motherhood "used" woman.

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