Im a stay at home mother who has 4 children. My oldest son Ethan who is 5 is from another relationship. Met my husband when Ethan was 14 months and we have grown into a bigger family with my other 3 children who are 3 and 18 month twin boys. I would say Ethan's father loves him but he is not strongly involved in doing activities with him and sends him away to grandparents so he can have more adult time with his girlfriend. I had Ethan shortly out of high school and had to juggle a part time job and finding rides to get to work and taking care of him, My husband was going to college in my home town where we met. We got married and had unplanned pregnancies but knew to keep working and for him to finish school to better financially support our family, we had to go on state aid but always said we will only use it to get us off our feet and to keep working hard to get of it.Well that day has happened for us and My husband landed a nice paying job down state ( we live in Michigan, the U.P.)close to family with helping hands and better schooling.We got a ourselves a lawyer and went to court to be able to move with Ethan. I have joint custody with his father. We needed to move to better Ethan and our family's life. We could take Ethan off of all stat aid, could pay for school lunch, medicaid and move him out of public housing and where i could have help with Ethan with his school work or take him to do activities .Judge did not see it bettering Ethans life and only to better mine. He could not keep a close bond with his father. I dont know how it would be better for Ethan to be away from his brothers and mother. His father's lawyer was trying to tell me and the judge that my husband can work 3 jobs and I start work and put all our kids in free child care and to live off of state aid because we can get it for free and that is a good way of living. I want a house to put my children in, to be off state aid, to be able to take them on vacations and be able to give them nice winter clothes and give money to them for school things. Friends and family tell me its the best for my family to move but I have anxiety when im away from Ethan, he is my life and everything to me, Im so torn from this, I feel helpless. Why cant I take him with me. I have to choose money over my son. What will he think? that i left him? I wont to have a strong bond with him. I wont know whats going on with his school. IM going to keep fighting in court to get them to let me take him.
I dont move for another few weeks. I need advice NOW I need help. Can I win in court next time??? should I stay and live poor, as long as Im with all my children. By the way there is NO good full time paying jobs in the U.P. with benefits. Please give me advice please or how to cope with this.