Advice for Moms

mommyames2
Am I Wrong? ::Husband texting women from work: NEW UPDATE
October 3, 2012 at 6:36 PM

Backstory: Together 8 years, Married 6. 2 kids and were about to start TTC#3.

I decided to check online at our text message history, call it a hunch I had. In the past 6 days, my husband has been secretly texting a women who recently was fired from his place of employment. They have texted 1000 times in 6 days (yes I counted).

I told him about it and he told me it wasn't a secret, nothing is going on. He told me he isn't going to end his friendship with her for me. I am being dramatic. Well I was angry, upset, hurt.... So I posted on facebook (he said dramatic, I showed him dramatic). Well he CALLED her to tell her what I wrote on facebook. "She didn't deserve to be drug into this because you are mad at me." Thats what he told me.

This women has no job...Lost her kids (CPS came and took them). Real winner, yes.

He says that it is no different then me texting my friends. Ok I don't sneak off into another room to text, and my friends are female. He is only off once every 7 days. Instead of spending that time with his children, he has been texting her. One day they texted almost 500 times!!!!! I find this wrong in so many ways.

Please, tell me...Am I wrong to be upset?!

UPDATE #1::::::: We had a nice long talk after the kids went to bed last night. He still says it was nothing. I explained that I don't care if he has female friends but the way he went about it was ALL wrong.
I have no idea if we can/will work it out but, he did text her and say he can't talk to her anymore. I saw she updated on facebook this morning (before I logged onto his account and BLOCKED her) that its sad she can't be friends with him.

He also told me that 500 in one day was a lot. He said that if she texts him again he won't delete it and won't reply. Guess we will wait and see what happens.... Trust is gone though, not sure how you can come back.

UPDATE #2:::::::: This morning he was missing...I had no idea where he was. Phone was turned off. I googled her name, got her address.... And found him at her house.

So for the few who dissed me for being concerned. Are you still on his side?

UPDATE #3:::::::::: The past few days have been exhausting. I am emotionally drained and just very very confused. I have no idea what I am going to do yet. Even though the logical answer would be to leave. I just don't think I can bring myself to do that. As stupid as that might sound right now, I am not making an decisions until I have had time to think it through. Thank you everyone for your replies. I am reading through all of the new ones now.
Also, he still maintains he is innocent. It will take time, trust is lost. The $70 flowers were nice, but def NOT going to make up for what he has done.


Replies

  • juniebug11
    October 3, 2012 at 7:08 PM
    Quoting mommyames2:



    Yes! I know they do because We shared a cell phone bill with someone else , and someone went over on there text messages so Verizon sent us a copy of every text, to prove who sent what text. I think they will e-mail it to you. Be prapared to get a ton of pages. We sent out 1500 a month, and we were boyfriend and girlfriend at the time.
  • juniebug11
    October 3, 2012 at 7:10 PM
    I'm so sorry for you, heartbreak is the worst feeling ever. It is seriously the worst pain.
    *hugs*
  • michi.lizarraga
    October 3, 2012 at 7:12 PM
    Wow... I would make him stop talking to her! Yea I read that he said I'm not gonna stop my friendship with her because of you. That a hint that something is going on! If he choose another woman over his family that big no no! if he rather be texting her that be with his kids... so wrong!!
    You should do what every female does become a detective and catch him in the act because if he is texting behind your back hten what makes you think that he's not seeing her behind you back!!
  • gardengirl23
    October 3, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    He's having an affair.  At least an emotional one. 

    I don't know why you would post on FB about it.  There is something not working in your marriage and it needs to be fixed.  Dragging FB into is just going to make it worse.  I know you are upset.  If my dh texted someone 500 times I don't know if my marriage would last but you need to work that out with him not FB.

  • GagaNTattooS
    October 3, 2012 at 7:14 PM
    Meh. My husband sends about 4,000 texts a month I really don't care
  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    October 3, 2012 at 7:15 PM
    Do not TTC. Dump him and confront him.
  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    October 3, 2012 at 7:16 PM
    To women he used to work with?????


    Quoting GagaNTattooS:

    Meh. My husband sends about 4,000 texts a month I really don't care

  • mama_l
    by mama_l
    October 3, 2012 at 7:20 PM
    500 texts a day?! Dang I don't even speak 500 WORDS to my husband a day. Yup something's up with that without thought or question. Sorry!
  • mommyames2
    October 3, 2012 at 7:21 PM

    I didn't post about he texting. I put that she was a whore and put her name. I mean the world needs to know, keep your married men away.

    Quoting gardengirl23:

    He's having an affair.  At least an emotional one. 

    I don't know why you would post on FB about it.  There is something not working in your marriage and it needs to be fixed.  Dragging FB into is just going to make it worse.  I know you are upset.  If my dh texted someone 500 times I don't know if my marriage would last but you need to work that out with him not FB.


  • mommyames2
    October 3, 2012 at 7:21 PM

    Congratulations to you.

    Quoting GagaNTattooS:

    Meh. My husband sends about 4,000 texts a month I really don't care


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