So here's the scoop: My husband and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. We recently (3/23/2013) got married, but it was really more a formality... neither of us are going anywhere :-) we had a big amazing wedding! Anyway- we have 6 children between the 2 of us. 3 are mine- 1 from my 1st love & 2 from my ex husband (10, 7, & 5) and he has 1 biological son from his ex wife and 2 boys of hers that he has been raising ad his own since they were 6 mo.& newborn (16, 15, 14). We love them all and treat them all equally. This is where things get tough... lol. I personally want to make sure that we have all the life experiences together as we can. We have had a wedding and bought a house and are raising our children. (Back story- mine were 4, 2 & 3 months when we met). Now here's the dillemma... 6 kids is a lot. we only have mine full time, his are every other weekend. He is 39 and I am 29. I am torn with the fact that even though we had my littlest together as a newborn, that we will never get to share the pregnancy/birth experience together. It really makes me sad. I know that the age difference plays a factor but he said he's too old for more kids. I really want to have our time as a couple without kids someday, but I don't want to miss out on anything either. I haven't told him that I'm even considering another baby at this point, because I'm afraid of what his response will be. Not afraid- he would do it if I asked... but I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to take away from the 6 we have for us to have this experience. All my other kids were brought into this world in such messed up situations and I'd like to have just 1 planned child brought into a home of love! What do I do, ladies?! Any advice is welcome, but please be constructive, not critical ;-) Thanks in advance!
I would suggest you start with therapy. No, not all therapy has to be because you are crazy or mental. Sometimes it can just help you sort out a difficult topic. Tell him you are having these thoughts, and would like to have some help working them out. I'd suggest going alone at first, so you can clarify your thoughts and have some help with pros and cons. Keep your sessions between you and the therapist! Then have him go for a few sessions to talk about his ideas on it. Don't beg to know what they talked about! Then you can go in together and have some help talking and communicating your thoughts and needs to each other to help you reach a decision.